Grandaughter scared of my 2 dogs

I've been scared of dogs all my life.For a long time I didn't remember why until my mother told me I had been bitten on my eye by a small terrier ,almost lost the eye ,when I wasn't quite 3.I still cross the road to avoid dogs not on leads and I'm 65 .There will be a reason whe's frightened even if it wasn't a bite .So I'd go easy on her,keep the dogs out of her way until she feels she can trust them
I'm fine with the dogs of family but only when they are at a distance and I would have a fit if a dog ever went near the face of my GC ..even to lick them.

Some children can be scared of something and have a hard time putting into words.

If it's a major problem, you might see if she would be willing to consider desensitization therapy. You could start by asking if she would be willing to see a picture of your dogs. Start there. Once she is okay with that, ask if she would be willing to be in the room with the dogs when they are on a lead and under your control. When she's comfortable with being around them, maybe she would like to try having them closer to her, and eventually giving them a treat.

I do have to ask, though, is there even the remote possibility that the dogs have nipped or scratched her? Even small dogs can potentially do a fair amount of damage, and size isn't always consistent with temperament. (I'm not saying yours are, but as an example, some small dogs are downright nasty, while some large dogs can be big, goofy, friendly things that would probably walk up to trouble and lick it all over.) Are the dogs trained? If they're not, they could still be overwhelming for her. If the dogs aren't trained, putting them in an obedience class may be beneficial.

I’m also 65 and have been scared of dogs all my life though don’t know why.
I’d also recommend keeping the dogs out of her way until such time comes as she shows any interest in them. It’s the kindest way.

I have one large ten year old dog and a middle sized/small 16 month old dog.
We have four grandchildren 4 years down to 8 months, so they're much younger than yours. Is your granddaughter a rare visitor? Ours spend a day a week with us (child care) and are fairly regular visitors. We have a child gate across the utility area, which is where the dogs are fed/sleep etc. When the youngsters are here, the dogs go in there. They're part of the family but there's no risk of a child pulling a tail or more likely, being knocked over by the large dog wagging her tail.
The 16 month old grandchild is fearful of dogs, and doesn't like the dogs too close to her. We re working on building her confidence and also on ensuring the dogs don't harass her. Can you keep your dogs separate by use of child gates, their beds and treats, to allow your granddaughter and the dogs, to get used to being in the same space? It's a slow process and I'm sure you don't want either your granddaughter, or your dogs to get into trouble together.

Children come before dogs. End of.

Please do NOT ask her why she is scared of them - just keep them out of her way if she is there; and do not treat her as if she has some deficit or problem. She does not.

You ask what you should do:

- leave her be
- keep the dogs out of her way
- stay off the subject completely

She will unfortunately have to learn to how tolerate the presence of dogs, and to deal with owners who have not a care for how others feel about their dogs. It is unfortunate and it would be better if this were not the case (as I am sure responsible dog owners would agree) but you are not helping her by harping on about it and trying to force HER to change. Maybe it is not her that needs to change.

Just give her time and under no circumstances let the dogs get anywhere near her.

I am sorry, but if that was my GD the dogs would go outside when she visited and to kennels if she wanted to stay over. This may not be a popular opinion I know.

She just screams when they are near her and I have to put them outside when she is in or put them in their bed

You know she's so scared of the dogs so why are they allowed near enough to make her scream? You just have to keep them out of the way completely when she visits.

I used to have a friend with two small dogs when I was a child I was absolutely terrified of them. They used to nip my ankles.

I have never liked dogs and never will . If you know she is so scared of them they shouldn’t be any where near her if she visits . Could they go to a kennel for the days that she visits you ? She can’t possibly enjoy her visits if she is frightened poor thing

Can't help wondering why this is an issue now, as she's already 7. Our GS was introduced to our puppy when he was 2. He was terrified of this ball of supercharged fluff. For a while I just looked after him at his house. I then thought that the situation was ridiculous so I just brought him over and told him he would be fine. Took about an hour. They became best friends. Six months later he asked if the dog was his brother. I pointed that that wasn't the case, as she's a girl! GS is a big lad now and our girl is getting on, but they love each other and she's been a great companion. I would introduce them slowly and quietly. He doesn't believe he was ever frightened of her. Stick with it.

My D has a huge Pyrenean x Bernese and when her GC go to her house or stay there neither the dog nor the children are bothered. The size would put any child off but he's such a beautiful animal like a big woolly bear.

It does sound in this case that the child has at some time perhaps been chased by a dog or nipped by one of the little ones. Has the child always had an aversion to dogs or is this something new ?

We've always had dogs and the children and grandchildren have been fine and share our love.

When mine were little I used to pick up 2 sisters after school, (childcare) and the eldest girl was petrified of our lurcher.

Initially I kept the lurcher in the kitchen and that worked OK, initially. But I felt sorry for dog and child so one day we had a chat about it and she decided to 'try' having the dog on the room.

This dog was extremely laid back, wasn't bouncing, didn't show any interest at all so we'd all sit together and over time she realised she had no need to fear this dog.

We had conversations about it being quite natural to be scared of dogs and not all dogs were as gentle and it was sensible to be wary etc etc

Fast forward 25 years and I bumped into this young lady. Now a married mum of two. She was pushing a buggy and had a dog on a lead

We stopped to chat and she thanked me for helping her with her fear of dogs.

So I know some suggest not discussing it but conversation worked for us.

I do hope you manage to get your granddaughter to cope with your dog!

I dont like dogs as was bitten by a dog I knew and trusted for years. That finished me. Unfortunately, and only speaking for myself. It is something that never leaves you. The dog that bit me was not provoked. I normally would not visit anyone with a dog. If the wee one does not like them you wont be able to solve this. If they are excitable dogs and jump about barking that can be frightening for someone who does not like them. I avoid dogs like the plague, having said this I would never be cruel to any animal.

Having read some of the posts it seems to me that you will be doing your gd a favour if you can help her deal with dogs. If she can be relaxed about them she will have a calmer, less fraught life. How about walking one of them together for a start?

Daisymae I profoundly disagree. Let the child be. She is 7, she is afraid of dogs. End of. In her own time and when she is ready, she will become less afraid of dogs - or she may have a serious phobia - like some people have for spiders.

Whatever the cause, keep them away from her, let her be and eventually she may come round, but if she doesn't it cannot be helped.

How unfortunate that people are obliged to learn to "deal with dogs" - better that their owners just keep them to themselves and not inflict them on others. Dogs are not a life obligation - they are a valid lifestyle choice for some and should not be allowed to impinge on others.

This poor lass would have a "calmer, less fraught life" if she stayed well away from her grandma!

I would never leave a child alone with a dog, however well behaved the dog is. I'm not saying that any of you do.
Dogs are unpredictable, can react to the slightest movement and disaster will ensue. We've heard too many such stories.

My GS would have been terrified of dogs if it we didn't have one. He is now confident around them so I can only reflect my experience and see it as a positive.

Nobody with any sense would leave a child alone with a dog, crazy H.

I agree that you should never force a reluctant child to engage with a dog but I genuinely believe that the love a child can have for a dog can be important and enrich their lives.

I'm not sure why you are asking the question when clearly you know that the only answer is to make sure she is completely fear-free in your home which means no sight or sound of dogs and no possibility they may spring out near her unexpectedly.

Think of something you are scared of (spiders, rats), would you feel easy if you knew someone might put that near you?

As everyone else has said, she comes first. She doesn't need to explain why she's scared (she can't anyway, poor wee lassie) all you need to know is that she is.

crazyh
How right you are. My friend's dog, a loving family pet they'd had for 8 years, has just torn off her ear and part of her lip when she and her husband were doing some silly horsing around.
The dog, thinking he was being attacked, did its job and protected its master....and paid the ultimately penalty.

As OP have said, the child comes first-end of! Dogs completely out of the way. Again, as others have said, my phobia is spiders and I would just not enter the house if I were expected to get used to the things and you NOT expect a young child to do this. It is your duty to protect her and care for her.

Another --Children before dogs.

You do need to address why your granddaughter is so terrified of your dogs; is it your dogs or all dogs? Quite right to exclude them when she is there, but not for the rest of her/their life; she does need to confront her fear and cope with it.
Is it because there are two; are they yappy, bark a lot, dash round all the time, jump up at her?
I was bitten on the face when I was three because I helpfully tried to clean a dog's ear-of canker; but I have always liked dogs and never been afraid of them, just treated them with respect.
A member of a group I belong to is scared of cats and insists they are removed from the room in any house where there is a meeting, an irrational fear we all have to pander to in the name of good manners.You do need to discover the cause of your granddaughter's fear, and at the very least discourage this screaming every time she sees them.

With you all the way Bradford lass. I don't know why when you don't like dogs, folk assume there is something wrong with you. I don't trust any dog. When I was bitten it was by a dog Id known and been around for years,completely unprovoked. I wasnt near anybody. I completely admit Ive never been the same with dogs. Dog owners Im sorry to say expect everybody to love their dogs because they do. If a child really does not like them and you insist on bringing the dogs and child together, you may risk long term difficulties for the child. Please do not expect everyone to love your dogs. I in no way mean to offend dog lovers here. I know and understand they are great companions and part of your family.