Thank you for your kind and useful replies replies.
The specialist hospital did call me at 1.30 am to tell me he had gone to the main hospital, they don't ask me if I want him to go. I'm afraid I didn't feel up to going to be with him right away. I am so tired.
I also thought the same about him being treated in the specialist mental hospital, there are staff nurses and sisters there and once I saw a doctor but they say they don't have the facilities. Maybe they don't at night.
Somehow when you get that phone call you need to trust that they know what they're doing. Questioning their decisions doesn't come easy to me but I'm going to have to try. I will certainly ask them officially if it's possible not to send him again if and when he returns there and I will have to deal with any consequences of that won't I.
I do have financial power of attorney, there are different levels, things changed in this area since my parents first organised this.
We have a meeting on Tuesday to discuss his transfer to a care home, I will have a whole different system to deal with then, if he makes it.
My mum has very recently moved into a residential care home, I could begin more issues around her and their separation, but not now.