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Welcome to the *Gransnet Café. This is a non-judgemental space for you to pop in for a cuppa with some virtual friends, seek out advice for a particular problem, or share an update on your life - important or trivial. Feel free to have your say and chat about your day, but please leave any arguments at the door. If you're struggling to find someone to talk to in real life, or are simply looking for a bit of a chat, this is the place for you.

Grandson in hospital

(8 Posts)
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marylane1996 Sat 25-Feb-17 09:45:13

My 10 year old grandson is about to go into hospital for a major op and because my daughter and I have not spoken for two years,her choice not mine, she does not want me to visit him. I have a great relationship with my grandson and he must realise by now that everytime I visit his mother walks out or stays in bed.Of course we dont discuss it but there are no right for grandparents and I cannot bear the thought that after this op he will have to learn to walk again and I am forbidden seeing him. Any ideas please anyone as my husband died years ago and friends just say let it go but I can't

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Hilltopgran Sat 25-Feb-17 11:29:36

I am sorry to read this, heartbreaking for you and your grandson. He is old enough to understand and ask for you to visit himself. His recovery period will be difficult for everyone, you can only leave the door open and let your daughter know that if she needs a break you are willing to help.

You could phone the ward for updates on your grandson, and ask them to give him your love.

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shysal Sat 25-Feb-17 11:44:05

At least you do get to see your GS. You must worry that if you rock the boat his mother might cut off all contact, which would be awful for you both. You will be able to send little notes or cards to the Hospital which will please him I am sure. You could perhaps suggest in one that he asks his Mum to let you know when she would like you visit to give her a break, and leave it at that.
I wish your GS a successful operation and satisfactory recovery. flowers

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Chewbacca Sat 25-Feb-17 11:55:22

If your grandson has a laptop or tablet, what about keeping in touch by email? You can send photos, jokes or just general chitchat. Failing that, brief letters and notes would let him know you're thinking of him and keeping in touch.

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rosesarered Sat 25-Feb-17 12:27:45

A sorry situation all round.?Try hard to stay in touch with him.

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MissAdventure Sat 25-Feb-17 12:46:24

Maybe you could arrange to phone him regularly? Hopefully that would be acceptable?

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BlueBelle Sat 25-Feb-17 13:07:01

Oh this is awful I can just imagine how I would feel in that situation but obviously that's no help to you is there no way forward with your daughter even if it means you eating humble pie Would a card to her just saying that you understand that she doesn't want to ever see you and you promise to honour that but would she consider you visiting when she is not going to be able to go ...... or even ask what you could do to help, completely on her terms Really horrid to be in this situation but I can't think of any other way forward

Good luck

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Christinefrance Sat 25-Feb-17 14:37:26

Yes your grandson doesn't need any added stress with problems between you and his Mum, children soon pick up on these things. It's a sad situation for you, I would try as BlueBelle said and write to your daughter. If this does not resolve things then you can keep in touch with your grandson by email, WhatsApp, letters etc. I do hope he makes a good recovery.

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