Worried grandmother taking family cruise soon.

Maybe just let him be?

I never really liked being touched/hugged and hid in my games console.

Not trying to be rude, but why would it affect you anyway? He is already practically an adult!

Hello everyone hope to get some guidance from this forum. First time using about 17 year old grandson being my room mate on a family cruise to Europe in a week. He has anxiety and social issues, hides in his phone. Parents and 13 year old grandaughter going with. Granddaughter sharing with other grandmother. Parents separate room. No hi or bye from him to the 2 grandmothers. Please advise

You say you have 'just found out' - who is organising this cruise?
And perhaps, more importantly, who is paying?
Surely sleeping arrangements should have been organised at the start?

Just don't touch or hug him.

13 year old should share with mum. 17 year old should share with dad. Grandmas should share together.

None of my 17 year olds would want to be sharing with an old woman. Most unfair to him.

Yes, that arrangement sounds the best option.

I would not share a bedroom with a 17 year old boy whether he has communication difficulties or not. I need my privacy and my sleep. If someone else was paying for the cruise I would tell them I want to pay for my holiday myself. I think it is wrong for you to be put in that position anyway.

My son is paying this entire cruise for all 6 members. Found out from the other grandmother that he is my room mate and she has the grandaughter. Both of us grandmothers are in their lives, same neighborhood but it’s the grandson with major issues. Anxiety, social, not sure if he is still on meds will be asking his parents. I could just ignore or have a talk with him before trip. Relationship is iffy at times with grandson.

1969q

My son is paying this entire cruise for all 6 members. Found out from the other grandmother that he is my room mate and she has the grandaughter. Both of us grandmothers are in their lives, same neighborhood but it’s the grandson with major issues. Anxiety, social, not sure if he is still on meds will be asking his parents. I could just ignore or have a talk with him before trip. Relationship is iffy at times with grandson.

Maybe just don't touch him?

If you feel uncomfortable sharing with a young adult man, then just say to your son!

I think like @wildswan16 says, kids should share with their parents, and grans together.

I would definitely speak to your son the suggestion that Dad and son share and grannies share sounds fine. If it were me I would insist on that arrangement or I’d try to book my own cabin. Wouldn’t want to share with a 17 yr old.

No disrespect intended to the OP but I can only think that the 17 year old boy will be absolutely mortified by the proposed arrangement 😱

I think like you Calipso. Why not suggest the arrangement made by Wildswan?
Girl with Mum, boy with Dad and Grans together. Sensible.

Perhaps, if it really is the only option, (though I can't see why, apart from ensuring your son and his wife aren't inconvenienced) then you could text your grandson to find out how to make it more comfortable for him.

Ask him to write down what he needs, so that he can relax a bit.

Wildswan’s suggestion is the best 👌

I think it is completely unreasonable for a 17 year old boy, especially if he has communication issues, to be expected to share a room with an older female.. GM or not.. He will be very uncomfortable as will you.. I think you have to insist that this arrangement is changed.. males with males etc

tanith

I would definitely speak to your son the suggestion that Dad and son share and grannies share sounds fine. If it were me I would insist on that arrangement or I’d try to book my own cabin. Wouldn’t want to share with a 17 yr old.

Neither would I!

It would just feel strange! You dress/undress in the cabin, sleep, put makeup on!

I ve shared with my grown up grandson in separate beds of course don’t see that as a problem although they should have talked it all over and got agreement from all involved in the family holiday so a bit sneaky
exdancer and others unless we were very good friends I would find it very weird to share with the other grandmother that wouldn’t suit me at all much rather share with my known flesh and blood, whatever age
Let him do his own thing and if he’s comfortable silent that’s fine go with it after all youre not living in the cabin only sleeping in it
Do you love your grandson, problems and all it’s only night time after all go to the cabin get in bed go to sleep get up go to breakfast no need to talk or be sociable apart from ‘morning love’

What an odd thing to ask you to do, my son when he was 17 would have been horrified to share a bedroom with his Nana (and so would she be).
I definitely would not do it, I like my own personal space. I would tell your son it’s not appropriate you and will pay for your own cabin.

Sleeping with 17 yr old boy is not going to work for either of you, as he has communication issues makes it worse. If it was me I would book my own separate cabin at my cost, sorry if that sounds unreasonable but I just would not sleep properly.

wildswan16

13 year old should share with mum. 17 year old should share with dad. Grandmas should share together.

None of my 17 year olds would want to be sharing with an old woman. Most unfair to him.

I agree.

I'm sure my teenage DGS would be mortified at having to share with me

My husband and I would buy/ pay for our own room. Sorted.

Actually, we're not fond of holidays with others, we'd likely not attend.

i would not go under those circumstances!

For twenty years my family have rented a house at the seaside for an Easter holiday. Various family members join them at different times. So that the extra people have their own rooms my daughter has always shared with their daughter and my son in law with their son. Works well.

Your relationship with him will be absolutely fine, you just need to relate to him on his level as who he is and not have expectations about how he should treat you... Respect his boundaries and need for space. He will very likely improve in time and find ways to express affection or gratitude but at the moment, him not expressing it doesn't mean he doesn't feel it.