Twin less twin baby shower

Oh I’m so sorry, such an awful heartbreak for your daughter to be going through.
I think you should discuss with your daughter what she wants to tell people & go with what she wants . When my daughter had a baby shower she didn’t want anyone to go to too much expense & she didn’t know the baby’s sex . In the invites we asked friends & family to bring a story book as a gift & write a little message inside the book .

I'm so sorry MeMex. I think GrannyTracey is right and you need to talk to your D and see what she wants to do .

I'm so sorry your daughter has this to deal with .I lost one of my twins and a baby shower would have been turning a knife in my heart .I would suggest you speak to her about having a celebration of her baby when it has safely arrived ...She will need to come to terms with her loss .

24 weeks is still very early to be thinking about a baby shower. Can you persuade her to leave it till much nearer the due date?

Well that’s tragic what a shame but a baby shower when one won’t survive I can’t get my head round that but then I don’t like this American celebration so I m not the best person to advice but you ll have to do what she is comfortable with

MeMex3 I can't begin to express what I feel at this sad situation. I really think you need to find out how much information your daughter wants the invited guests to know. Personally I feel she needs to celebrate both her babies, the one who will survive and the one who won't, but I'm speaking from the comfort of a disassociated commentator. I am expecting very premature twin granddaughters imminently, hopefully both will survive, but that's a very different situation to yours.
Perhaps an invite to provide an item for one twin? I do hope that the sadness of the lost twin can be balanced by the joy and hope the surviving twin will bring. Sending very best wishes to you all.

So sorry to hear that only one twin will survive.
Surely it isn't appropriate to have a baby shower. Wouldn't it be better to have a celebration later such as a naming ceremony or a Christening?
If your DD insists then she will have to explain to everyone which will be so painful.

No way would I ever had held a baby shower when I was pregnant. Feels like it is almost tempting fate.
Carrying two, with little chance of both surviving is a very great trauma. 24 weeks is very very early.

When I was expecting my twin (many years ago), I packed two quite separate layettes for them to wear to come out of hospital, with strict instructions to hubbie that if, for any reason. only one was returning home, he brings in only one of those bags.

Do think she will need time to celebrate the birth of a baby, and also time to mourn the death of another one. Wait until that one is safely in her arms before any sort of celebration.

Oh what a desperately sad situation. Why not wait a bit and see how DD feels about things? She may feel a bit clearer nearer the time. Absolutely no easy answers.

Perhaps your daughter needs some light relief from the angst.
You could ask for small gifts and a donation to the special care baby unit or similar.

I agree with those who are uncomfortable about the idea of a baby shower, but you will have to follow your DD's lead on this of course. I too have always felt that Baby showers are yet another unwelcome US tradition, I prefer to wait until a baby is delivered before celebration and gifts. I wouldn't even have the pram in the house until my son was safely born.

I’m so sorry to read about one twins loss. My daughter had same happen with a singleton whose brain didn’t develop and which came along just a few months after she lost a twin pregnancy. I had twins at 28weeks who luckily survived but another woman lost both her twin babies who were born at same gestation. Years ago you would “book” your pram but nothing would be bought before a safe arrival. I don’t like American Baby Showers personally. So so sad. Twins do still cause pregnancy concerns. Someone we know in our town is having triplets any day - they already have a 2yr old! I really really hope the pregnancy progresses well. All you can do is give your support. Best wishes.

If your daughter has said that she wants a baby shower then a baby shower is what she should have. Her life is almost certainly traumatic at the moment so a bit of light relief may do her some good.
I would ask her how she would like to proceed. When sending out the invites, it might be a good idea to pop a note in explaining the situation (although I'm sure most of her friends and family are already aware).
As Sago said, it might be nice to use the opportunity to raise funds for the unit where the babies will be delivered

I’m so sorry to hear about the prognosis. I have no experience of baby showers but in the circumstances I think your daughter needs to decide, nearer the time, how she wants to handle things. Obviously it would be very upsetting to have guests turning up with two gifts when, sadly, only one baby will survive. ?

Grannyben

If your daughter has said that she wants a baby shower then a baby shower is what she should have. Her life is almost certainly traumatic at the moment so a bit of light relief may do her some good.
I would ask her how she would like to proceed. When sending out the invites, it might be a good idea to pop a note in explaining the situation (although I'm sure most of her friends and family are already aware).
As Sago said, it might be nice to use the opportunity to raise funds for the unit where the babies will be delivered

I agree with this. It doesn’t matter how many of us feel about baby showers, your daughter feels it would be good for her.