Late night messages

I would either have a word with your grandson, or cut out the middle man and tell his mum.
What she does with that info is up to her, but she needs to know, I think.

Quite a few years ago my grand daughter fell sleep whilst on her mobile to her friend, the bill was horrendous.

I would tell my daughter but only you know what your relationship is like with her.

The problem is: it’s not the time, it’s who he’s talking to.
Some years ago my granddaughter would use my phone ( before she got her own) i found stuff I know wasn’t suitable.
I told my daughter. It’s better that the parents know.

Your phone or tablet will often show you online even if you're in bed asleep at the time. Facebook does this - you have to physically log out of some apps or turn the device off in order to 'disappear'.

You could mention that you'd seen his phone appeared to be online to his mum or ask him if he'd remembered to log out.

Yes, I would let your daughter know, but very carefully as if your grandson doesn't want you to know he is online he will find ways of making sure you cant see his status!

Let your daughter know.
It might be her, my DD is 11 and I always check when I know she's asleep (about 11pm actually!)
Just to make sure nothing 'wrong' is going on.

How do you know he was online? Which application was he using?
Is his cell open to everything or there are filters restricting the activity for security issues?

Does your dd let him take the cell to bed?
If so, there is nothing you can do.

Thanks everyone, my instinct is to let her know.

@Hithere he was on Whatsapp but I don't know anything about his phone or what his Mum allows - although I can't imagine she would allow him to be on it at that time of night.

But if you are aware he was online why do you think your daughter wasn’t aware
Doesn’t he live with her ?
I certainly wouldn’t interfere surely it’s up to his parents to monitor his phone time

My WhatsApp always shows online, as my cell is on, but I am not using it

if it's whatsapp it might be that it was pinging. It does my head in. Maybe tell his Mum and say, he knows he can turn it off/mute doesn't he?

Surely, an 11-yealr old should not be taking his 'phone to his bedroom at night. All my g.children upto the age of about 16 years have to leave their 'phones downstairs 'charging' whent they go to bed.

At age 11, yes, I would tell his mum and dad. Better safe than sorry.

Isn't this the modern day equivalent of reading a book under the bedclothes! If you can see he is online then I'm sure his mum can! But as someone said earlier, apps can glitch, showing you as active or online,when in fact you aren't!

Totally agree Franbern
My 13 year old grandsons stayed at the weekend and we always take their phones from them at bedtime to charge in our room. Some inevitable eye rolling but ......

My daughter and her children live with us at the moment, and I’m surprised she lets her eleven year old take her phone to bed, but obviously it’s up to her.
I’m surprised by some of the content on TikTok and WhatsApp, but I feel I’m probably just old fashioned.
Sad to see her exposed to so much, while she’s so young, but I can’t see there’s any going back.

My daughter and her family, all adults now, always put their phones in the kitchen overnight when they go to bed and have done so for a number of years now. Any parent who allows an 11 year old to take their phone to bed needs to have a good think about their parenting!

I would mention it, but then I know my daughters. Same with DIL’s.

Inform your daughter. She may /maybe not know. The rest is up to her.

Dylant1234

My daughter and her family, all adults now, always put their phones in the kitchen overnight when they go to bed and have done so for a number of years now. Any parent who allows an 11 year old to take their phone to bed needs to have a good think about their parenting!

Well said Dylan! No one in my family has a mobile phone in their bedroom at night either.
My children were brought up this way and in turn they apply the same parenting to their children.

Surely. If you could see he was online your daughter could too. Saying that, people have thought I was online even though I wasn't. Chances are he hadn't logged off.

Yes, your daughter ought to be told, he'll be falling asleep in class at that rate. He should hand his phone over to you or DD before going to bed.

H1954

Dylant1234

My daughter and her family, all adults now, always put their phones in the kitchen overnight when they go to bed and have done so for a number of years now. Any parent who allows an 11 year old to take their phone to bed needs to have a good think about their parenting!

Well said Dylan! No one in my family has a mobile phone in their bedroom at night either.
My children were brought up this way and in turn they apply the same parenting to their children.

I have no comment about children but long ago when I did fire safety at work, the retired fireman who took the courses asked us where we kepr our mobiles at night and we all said downstair on charge and he called us idiots. His point was if you need to call 999, how much easier and faster to do it from your bedroom where presumably you are, and if you need to evacuate before you call then you can grab your phone and don't have to go running around the house for it. he also had some words for people "who never carry their phone around indoors" He basically said if you are doing anything risky have your phone with you....how stupid to get stuck in the attic/fall off a ladder/cut yourself REALLY badly and not be able to call someone.....especially those of us who live alone......

11 year olds have been exposed to way more than you think, they are not innocent flowers that need to be protected and sheltered in excess

11 pm is not that late anyway.

There is no evidence he is using the phone and/or his mother may let him have the cell at night

This is a job for the parents, not grandparents