GC need amusing!

No! Mine either want us to play with them or worse - watch them play.

They do seem a lot more 'needy' than my own at that age .

But isn't that because they know grans and grandads are different to mum or dad. They are special and are there to have fun and play with, whereas mum or dad might be busy doing other things !

I do think some little ones have lost the ability to amuse themselves though. Maybe too much technology, or not being allowed out to play in the street, or too much "after school" activities that leave them exhausted. I don't really know.

I think you are right, Wildswan. I expected my children to play by themselves because I had things to do. But I am very willing to play with my granddaughters and they want me to get involved.

I am very happy indeed to play with them - we have great fun together - but not every second of the day when they are here.

I am not above giving them my iPad or putting on the telly.

Ah yes - the TV - it saved my life today! I was so tired and just needed to switch off for a few moments. She's cuted though - I love her to bits.

my grandchildren do set the table ,make the fruit salad ,help with cooking etc ,they love to polish furniture and vaccuum ,other than that I have huge box of craft stuff ,paints and playdough and they can enjoy that on their own.I think its really important they learn to amuse themselves

Mine are bossy and issue their commands in the house and garden, in a nice way! I usually comply because I'm hoping that's how leaders are made. I think it's important to communicate and play with them, even if it is demanding, as the last thing I want is for them to be introverted and pushed around at school. Our own two children were not good at pushing themselves forward and often missed out or worse.

I treat my grandchildren and stepchildren in the same way as I did my DDs. I have the same expectations regarding behaviour etc. Children need boundaries and respond to consistent expectations.

I'm not saying I never play with them etc. but I'm their grandmother/step mother not a children's entertainer. If they complain they're bored I can always find them a little job to do

You haven't met my 4 year old DGD! - she would be good at the Brexit negotiations!! Not an inch will she move when she wants something! I am much much stricter than her parents are and there are very definitely boundaries when she is here - and she knows them.

There is a balance to be struck here - if I am too strict I risk her cutting up when her Mum (my DD) is trying to leave her in the morning and get on to work on time - and she does not need that!

I am just interested in the idea that GC seem less able to amuse themselves than ours were - ours simply had no choice because we were busy; but then we were parents, not doting GPs from whom I think one can expect a little more attention when with them. It is true of the children when they are with their parents, who are always trying to amuse them - so it is what they are used to.

Step granddaughter is much better at occupying herself now she is 7, but they do like to be played with. 14 year old step grandson - can be dragged kicking and screaming to play a family game eventually, but 99% of the time you are not allowed to even see him

I think also there is a tendency for parents ( not all ) to structure every part of their child's day. They have all types of extra curricular activities, music, sport, tutoring, and whilst there is nothing wrong with any of these the children are not given time to just be children.

I have just spent a week with my niece (I live overseas) and I am so frustrated! She is older than some of the children here clearly but I find her completely self absorbed. She will do anything I ask her (set the table, make a cup of tea etc) but initiates nothing. She only seems happy in the guest bedroom with the door closed chatting to her friends on face time. I'm seriously considering writing her off.

My GS aged 7 is much more needy than my children ever were. I only have to be away from his sights for a minute or so and he's calling after me. I think children today generally seem to want for nothing and their every need is catered for. I've told my DD that he should have pocket money to spend and when it's spent that's it no more. Children have to have boundaries.

Children are now taught to be frightened of much that we coped with without problems. They are not left to their own devices and are taught to lean on others for everything without trying to work it out for themselves. Gone are the days when we went out with a picnic lunch and played in the local park / rec and didn't get back till tea time!! If there is any type of problem they are taught to ask 'who will sort this out for me' instead of thinking things through and learning to be responsible for their own actions. I wonder how much this lack of being able to see consequences contributes to the cruel posts on social media.

Very sad

My DGS likes me to play with him - or watch him on his bike or scooter - which I'm happy to do cos I adore him. However if I need to cook or wash up, I would expect him to amuse himself with imaginative games and he doesn't - he just wants to get onto the iPad. I disapprove of this - DD lets him have it (which I understand) but then I find him watching trailers for zombie films - he's only 5!!

Thinking back, beyond toddler-hood I was never one for actually playing with my children. They would amuse themselves with Dinky cars, He-man, Superman models, making dens, arts & crafts, TV, etc.

I was of course always present and supervising just not leading play or participating, apart from intervening in squabbles!

And it's about the same now with my DGC.

CarolineBurmuda Is your niece 14/15ish if so there is very little chance of gettimg her full attention,at that age all girls want to do is chat about hair/make-up and possibly boys they think we don't live on the same planet sometimes so I just wouldn't take it personally,my youngest DGD is 15 and she is very self absorbed with herself and her friends,whilst my eldest DGD now 19 is the most attentive young lady having come out of the addiction of having to be the centre of attraction all the time.Just be grateful for the cups of tea you are very honoured as mine have never found out where the kettle is in my kitchen.

CarolineBurmuda agree with all glammanana says. Your niece sounds perfectly normal to me!

Love to play with my 2 year old granddaughter. I never really had the time to play with my own children. D.D.says I let G.D.do things she wouldn't let her do.....

I think it is about balance , my 2 girls played together and amused themselves but also had friends round and played with the children in the neighbourhood , we also had days out etc to museums , swimming , picnics and in the summer we had 'dinner in the park' so we had some good family time too

We made tents in the garden over the washing line , got the sprinkler out in the summer which watered them and their friends as well as the plants and we planted seeds together and watched them grow , did face painting , crafts and cooking together and they grew up so quick I am glad I did those things with them but also because there was 2 of them they always played together ( but not always nicely lol )

With my Grandson he is an only child with special needs so he more demands more of my attention but at nearly 10 he does go off and amuse himself too , my bedroom is my chill out zone but I always have an 'open door policy' for him whenever he chooses , wants or needs to be with me and he usually climbs all over me , sings songs and says cheeky things as he loves laughing with Nanny and he is growing up too quick too! xx

Our two youngest GC are very good at keeping themselves amused most of the time. For some reason the eldest, 6 yesterday, often wants/needs her Mum, or us, to play with her. I find it very hard if she wants me to play My Little Pony sort of games, enough to bring on a catatonic state. Love playing outside, football etc, with them. Board games are good too. I am sure my 2 DDs amused themselves most of the time. Going back even further, my sister and I were 7 and 4 when our parents took over a country pub and did not have the time to keep us amused. Lots of playing out in those days. I think we had the better deal.

I totally agree with you,mine want amusing and need interaction from me most of the time. In my case it isn't about coming to nannies house as she is exactly the same with my DD and sil if not more with them. My DD doesn't leave her to just entertain herself or encourage her to go of and play whilst she's busy do things, instead my DD puts aside her own things and then gets stressed when she's trying to fit household chores etc in when GD in bed.We have spoke about this and I explained that I didn't do that with her and as a child she should understand it isn't all about them. One of my DDs friends calls it 1980s parenting where the children have to learn to muck in like ours did as kids, that seems to be lost with this generation.

I find the best solution is to take them to the park, they can run around and use up energy, i can sit on a seat and chat to other adults whilst keeping an eye on them and conserving my energy. The other option for rainy days is painting, drawing and glueing. These can be set up by me but they are then left to their own imaginations with imput from me if requested. They are at the kitchen table i am usually busy preparing lunch or dinner at the same time so we are chatting the whole while. The thing i love best is snuggled up on the sofa to watch a film together and story time when they are in bed, i read The magic faraway Tree by Enid Blyton and they love it just as i did as a child.