mealtimes

Oh lummy my GS was a nightmare and sometimes still is over food mostly because he was allowed too many choices as toddler. I don't know what to say I used to give in but dreaded mealtimes. I do wish you luck and that they have a pleasant stay with you - give him sandwich if that's all he wants not a good time to get all stressy.

Thanks for the good wishes - I think that's probably very good advice not to get stressed over it, it won't help the situation. I shall just try and go with the flow!

Hi, SallyWragg. Have to agree with teetime - if all he'll eat is a sandwich, give him a sandwich. If he eats well at his own home, why worry? Make up the difference with whatever fruit or veg he'll eat. We had the same problem with our GS, who was a food nightmare from the age of nineteen months, having previously eaten anything and everything. It got to the stage where all he would eat was plain pasta and cheese - but not together - carrot sticks or cucumber! He came round in the end and now eats all sorts of good things. Try not to let food issues get in the way of having a nice time with him.

I'd give him what will eat. He won't come to any harm. If it's only sandwiches, so be it.
One Christmas we were putting out dinner and my dgd then 6 asked could she have Weetabix. Her younger sister then ashed could she have Weetabix also. It wasn't a time for battles or a possible tantrum so they both had their Weetabix.

Have a lovely weekend ....No stress over food.

Been there done that got the T shirt
My GS are the same age. The youngest had major health problems for first two years, they thought he was going to need major abdo surgery.
Fortunately he now eats almost anything but will often say "I don't like that bit" after a few mouthfuls. My strategy is to say "ok eat the bits you do like" usually that produces an empty plate
If he eats healthily at home a couple of days of nannie giving in to him won't hurt.
Have fun !

Make coming too your house be 'granny's rules'. So, things that he gets away with at your house are only because he's with you. I play by the DDs' rules at their house but at my house things are how I want them and that includes indulging them if it suits me.

How about them helping to cook? Anyway they won't die of starvation . Would be tempted not to give them anything else or add a t ouch of fantasy to lure them in......over to you

Thank you for all the great advice, everyone, which I've taken note of, particularly the not getting stressed because its surprising how children pick up on that - even if you think you've hidden it well. You're right, it is just for the weekend so he's not going to come to any harm if he doesn't eat particularly healthily. I suppose the main thing is that they both enjoy the weekend, whatever they eat or don't eat. I like the idea about the touch of fantasy LullyDully, I shall have to get my thinking cap on and see what I can conjure up!

I have been 'helping' DGD (same age) with her dinners by playing 'Thomas the Tank Engine going into the tunnel'.
I daren't tell her DP but at least I am satisfied she has eaten her dinner.

We take our little 4 year old grandson shopping for the ingredients for dinner. He chooses what we'll have, sometimes it's quite an entertaining selection.

Then he helps cook. It might be just a sandwich with veggie sticks. It might be chicken and chips or pasta . We always sit at the table and he eats what he wants - there's no cajoling but there's nothing else available if he doesn't eat what he's chosen.

We usually only have him for about 24 - 36 hours so he's not going to starve :-) fruit is always available.

He's our 3rd grandchild and we applied the same rules to the previous 2 and it's worked a treat.

Good luck :-)

Could you perhaps prepare food in advance, meals he enjoys at home, and tell him that mummy cooked it especially for him and brought it round for when he stays. Yes I know it's fibbing but if it works, is it really so wrong?

I'm 100% with Kitty!!

I agree with everyone.Why not make it like a picnic.Like a little dish of this and a little plate of that,then he can pick what he likes,

I think that is wrong, Indinana. It's unnecessary and dishonest and sets a bad example, even if he never finds out...

Yes, I'm like Kitty. I am supposed to abide by their rules, no pud (usually yogurt) if all the dinner hasn't gone, but sometimes I think that I gave her too much dinner anyway .....
Naughty Nanny

It's a case of our rules here, too. I often need to breathe deeply when last week's favourite is greeted with 'I don't like that now' from the little one. Usually the 'just eat what you do like' tactic works a treat but we have resorted to fruit and toast just so she doesn't wake hungry in the night. Unheard of at home. Fortunately big sister just eats hers, though she does sigh a lot at the antics of the little one. Don't worry Sally it's a phase that passes. The important thing is that you all enjoy the time together. Good luck. It will be fine.

Can I just say thank you everyone again for the support and the great ideas which have really helped. I've only just joined gransnet and it seems a lovely group to belong to. You're right, Cornergran, I'm sure it's a phase and we should just concentrate on enjoying our time together. I'm doing bits on plates for tea. I shall take a big breath and leave him to it, fingers crossed!

Can I just say thank you everyone again for the support and the great ideas which have really helped. I've only just joined gransnet and it seems a lovely group to belong to. You're right, Cornergran, I'm sure it's a phase and we should just concentrate on enjoying our time together. I'm doing bits on plates for tea. I shall take a big breath and leave him to it, fingers crossed!

Can I just say thank you everyone again for the support and the great ideas which have really helped. I've only just joined gransnet and it seems a lovely group to belong to. You're right, Cornergran, I'm sure it's a phase and we should just concentrate on enjoying our time together. I'm doing bits on plates for tea. I shall take a big breath and leave him to it, fingers crossed!

Ana, the case of being told that Mum cooked it will not harm a child for life. When we were small, my Mum's very dear friend had two boys, one of which could be a pain. So, Auntie Edie used to come to our garden wall, hand over the boy's lunch, and he would come to ours for dinner. All eaten without fuss. He has grown up with as far as I know, no hang ups.

I wasn't suggesting the child would be scarred for life by such deception, but I think telling him his mum had cooked his lunch when she hasn't is not on.

The scenario you describe is completely different, Auntieflo - no dishonesty involved.

DGD doesn't like cheese but put a bowl of grated cheese in the middle of the table and it disappears very quickly

That was supposed to be inverted commas, not emphasised

Isn't telling children that there is a real Father Christmas a deception? I was very upset when I found out there wasn't but I don't think it did any long term damage (some may disagree ).

I think it depends on the type of deception. A neighbour of mine, for instance, had to have her dog put to sleep but she told her grandchildren that he'd gone on holiday. They were asking for months afterwards when he was coming back. I don't think that was a very good idea.

But I think if telling a child that his mum had cooked his dinner means that he will eat it, I can't see what the problem is. It could be, though, that he still wouldn't eat it. It might be that being away from home means that he feels a bit more independent and able to exert his own will as to what he eats.

Having said that, I'm sure that occasionally having a sandwich instead of a "proper meal" isn't going to do him any harm and I agree with those who say it's not worth stressing about.

Relax and have a lovely weekend SallyWragg.