Hospital or not?

If you look online you can find a living will. We filled one out when my husband was dying from cancer, it was most helpful.

It was from website called compassion in dying. It is a most kind and helpful website. I wish you well with your decision. As I’m now on my own, despite having 3 married sons and 5 grandsons, I too will not go to hospital. If it’s looking bad then I will overdose and die in my own bed. I’m 60 but feel 90 most of the time.

That's a really interesting question GrannySomerset and I completely understand your perspective. I don't know the answer but what I would say is that you both need to understand what that might look like in practical terms. For example, watching a loved one struggling to breathe would be very distressing. There may also be difficulties in getting the death certified and the body collected given how infectious CV19 is. What do others think?

I watched an interview with an intensive care professor in London a few nights ago.

He said that we would be coming to a point, where patients, who had comorbidities and became ill with the virus would be asked, in the case of shortage of beds and ventilators, if they wanted treatment for Covid19 or would they give others, who had a better chance of surval, the opportunity to be treated.
It was suggested having that discussion with your family before you actually became ill.

As I'm in the shielded group, I found it quite upsetting, but I had THE conversation with DH.

Please be aware that this wouldn’t be a pleasant death at home. You will struggle for breath for a sustained length of time and eventually drown in the fluid built up in your lungs.

Having just watched my OH die last month, I am acutely aware that it was much slower and more distressful than I would have wished, in spite of everyone's best efforts.

I think some medical help towards a peaceful death might be necessary in the event of acquiring this dreadful virus. .

Marydoll that's really interesting. I wonder whether they mean palliative measures in hospital without ventilatory support though? Because that wouldn't achieve what Granny Somerset hopes for: there is unlikely to be a loved one there with you.
Luckygirl I'm sorry it was that way for you

I wish I hadn’t read your post blue25. I cannot ‘unread’ it now. You are obviously knowledgeable on this topic.

Can you tell me whether if dying at home, would some kind of medical intervention/assistance be offered? A dog wouldn’t be left to die in those conditions.

Artdeco, you sound as if you are really suffering, Please there must be some support.

This is previrus but I had to go through it with my Dad. he had terminal stage 4 cancer and other things. The staff insisted on getting him up, getting an OT, blah blah. Honestly why?

There was an interesting discussion about this on Radio 4’s Any Answers today. It seems that a reasonably peaceful death at home could be possible, with the aid of palliative care specialists. However, there doesn’t seem to be a mechanism in UK for this to be implemented. A living will and Do not recusitate directive might help but no guarantee of palliative care at home.

Then that seems inhumane and harsh Farmor and would freak me out.
?

The advice in my country is that the moment you feel you may have Covid-19 (and you need to have a good reason to suppose you have come into conatct with the virus) is to take no chances, ring a healthline and get tested so they can isolate you and trace all the people and places you came into contact with in the previous 10 days. Thus saving others from it.

Unless a person intends to simply sit out the infection alone and isolated, there's no alternative.

Bear in mind that according to the WHO only 260 cases out of more than 17,000 in the UK have died.

These include chronic smokers and those with emphysema; asthmatics and the elderly with known breathing problems.

If you are in this category, you must tell the authorities if you become sick - even if it turns out only to be a cold.

Thing about receiving palliative care at home is, who will administer it when the NHS is stretched to the limit? ☹️

You'd have to have a Do Not Resuscitate notice in your medical file (Known as a DNR)

Farmor15 I shall listen to that on catch up. I think there is in principle, a mechanism, but as you say in the current crisis implementation would be fraught with difficulty. At one time most deaths would take place at home. Now the majority of us die in hospital.
Urmstongran I'm genuinely interested to know what you feel is inhumane and harsh?

Greymar - I can empathise with that. They kept trying to get antibiotics down my OH - they were just dribbling from the corner of his mouth an hour later as he could not swallow properly. Having made the decision to leave him in peace and not drag him to hospital for IV treatment, I wish they had just stopped pestering him with the drugs.

Thank You Lucky, it was dreadful. When I politely but firmly asked a nurse why they were doing it, she manhandled me and said it was policy.

Considering that the Guardian reported today that 50% of patients admitted to intensive care with Covid 19 die ( I’ll try to post link), I think people should be given a choice and support if they would prefer to stay at home.

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/mar/28/coronavirus-intensive-care-uk-patients-50-per-cent-survival-rate?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Doesn’t seem there is any answer to my questions. I know how harrowing bad pneumonia can be and was hoping that there would be some support at home for those choosing not to be hospitalised, but it doesn’t look like it. DH is really scared that I won’t be with him if he is ill and I want to be able to promise him that I will be there. At almost 85 and with PD he does not want anything other than to die at home if he gets this wretched disease, and that seems entirely right and proper.

do you have anything for pain control.
just thinking through, in worst case scenario.
i fully sympathise with people wanting to remain at home, and in this current crisis there is unlikely to be much medical support.
so i guess we have to think it all through, and prepare accordingly, as best we can.
Urmston, i echo your observation. like a flown arrow is a word spoken, or read.
Artdeco, sorry you are feeling more than your age, is it physical in origin. i wish you all the best. all of us.

GrannySomerset, I fully understand where you are coming from. I just don't have any answers.
I've been told if I get Covid19, death is probably inevitable, too many comorbidities.

I too would wish to die at home, but just don't know where the staff would come from to administer palliative care. There is already a shortage of medical staff in hospitals. I think in the next few weeks, we will see a dramatic change in how cases of this terrifying virus will be managed.

I was due to start new biologics treatment in hospital tomorrow, but it has been postponed for at least three months, as I'm very high risk and they will not have the staff to deal with any emergency that arises. That says it all.
Frankly I'm relieved, I'm safer in lockdown.

I wish you and your husband all the best. ?

Listening to Greymar and * Luckygirl* made me realise how lucky we were when the Bodach was dying in hospital. When I could no longer cope with his care at home, our GP made sure I understood what palliative care only involved, and when he was in hospital nearly every doctor I spoke to seemed to be making sure it was still what I wanted ( and this was without me having Power of Attorney)
In the end, they managed his care and pain relief well, as I too had been forcing him to try to swallow pills.
I would have been like Marydoll too, and wanted to stay at home, but I do realise that services will be even more stretched, and I was reassured that the care the Bodach received was excellent ( Glasgow Royal Infirmary, with input from Marie Curie, as he wasn’t fit to be transferred to the hospice)
I wish you all well in these distressing times.