Alone at Christmas?

Can you afford a hotel, maybe with a spa? Are you outgoing and would enjoy people watching in the bar for a cocktail and then the restaurant? If not, would room service with your feet up on the bed appeal? Watching Christmas programs on the TV, maybe after a luxury bath?

I’ve probably got it all wrong but do wish you a lovely day however you choose to spend it.

First of all, well done for putting your dogs first! The first Christmas of the pandemic I too was on my own and pretty miserable, but for me the consolation was that I did not have to put my lovely Hattie into kennels! I only had her for another 4 months after that which in hindsight makes it all the more special.
How does one cope?
Do the things you want to do - a lie in, a gentle dog walk, a bit of telly (dogs snuggled up beside you) eat what you want, when you want and just think how much they will appreciate having “Mum” at home with them.
Try not to get too down about it even although you have surely earned a bit of spoiling - just indulge yourself!

Sorry I got carried away and didn’t consider your lovely dogs. Lots of food treats at home for you and them?

I usually go to my daughter’s house for Xmas lunch. I haven’t had the invite yet. She is probably in one of her moods - menopause doesn’t help . Enjoy your dogs’ company. They can be far better than humans.. …sorry, I’m in a cynical mood today. I’ll probably be fine after a good night’s sleep.

It's a mind set - set your mind into a positive state and plan to enjoy the day - As RosiesMaw said - lots of yummy treats, whatever you want to read or watch, maybe a day project - sort through photos, clear out a cupboard for charity, tidy the garden if weather suits, dance in the kitchen - whatever YOU get pleasure from. On the day start a Christmas day alone thread on here to see what other aloners are up to. I always loved Christmas alone but l am a solitary kind of bird.

Late coming on here ok you will not be on your own you have your elderly pets to keep you company. You are probably and understandably disappointed your family are doing their own thing that’s a natural reaction.
We had the same experience last year my DH and I have never been on our own it was a shock at first. It actually turned out really nice it really was we did exactly what we wanted to do when we wanted without worrying about pleasing others. We also promised each other if we where totally alone we would do the same thing or make arrangements with our close friends.
Eat what you want when you want spoil the dogs after a good walk. Be warm and cosy and WhatsApp whoever you want come on here and chat there will always be company here 💐

I have been invited to DS for Christmas dinner but I know I could well have been alone and already steel myself in case I have to be if the weather turns bad and I can't drive. There are no buses.

I will make sure there's some nice food in the fridge, books to read, TV and radio programmes and hopefully a walk in daylight.
My DD's in-laws have invited me to join them all on Boxing day which is very kind of them.

I hope you have a nice time and as others have said, your dogs will be happy 😊

I have had 2 kind invites but I prefer to spend the day here on my own, doing what I want when I want knowing Amazon will not be asking me to look after a parcel for a neighbour!

TV is rarely good but I have Alexa to play music if I wish. I think one year I painted a room! I usually do "normal" things like clothes washing. To me it is a normal day but cold.

Invite someone else who you wouldnt normally invite? Who may be alone too?
Even just for coffee and a mince pie?

Do everything you wouldn't have time for if you had a house full., As others have suggested, have your day planned, read in bed with a coffee, a lazy bath, and enjoy your pets.
Eat what you want not what everyone else wants which I usually do at Christmas if we manage a family one. My DD lived abroad for years so it was a quick Facetime which DH hated.
Find some films that will not make you sad DH usually has Norman Wisdom who makes me cringe but I keep quiet.
My other DD has never joined in as it is too far to come if the weather is bad and snow gates shut on their route.
We will not be having turkey or Goose as there will be too much left over so it will be Duck and Gammon.
Could a steam be started on Gransnet for all those on their own this Christmas? To let you know you are not forgotten, everyone else is too tied up in cooking feeling frazzled and in some cases just wishing the guest would disappear so they can have a good old snooze.
We all whitter on about Christmas and forget that a lot of people are on their own or visiting loved ones in the hospital putting on a brave face, which I have had to do, ICU is no place for tinsel and merriment and some will be visiting there.
I hope you get a really special treat day planned for yourself.

I am loving all of your messages! it's uplifting and powering! Thank-you lovely ladies.

When someone is lonely and alone it is more than a mindset, its deep rooted. I have had ten years of Christmas's alone if not more and I am super positive but I done all the things treating myself, nice bath/ shower, food and books etc. What happens when this is no longer enough? I become bored with these rituals...

Hello Jane761458, I take my hat of to you and feel for you that after your 30 years of being a great loving mum you are put to one side. Even though I understand your grown up children want to do their own thing I think it's a little cruel. They should have thought about you and your dogs. Not fair but use this time to spoil your lovable dogs and you. Start a new craft/ read/ relax. Are you able to stay with a friend who is also alone? Or a friend comes to you? A weekend away at a doggy friendly hotel/ B&B? Change of scenery? Give yourself the day off lay in bed plod with your dogs wrap up presents for them too. Build new memories but I think it is sad that after 30 years your grown up children want to do their own thing, image if you had said that to them? One grown up child should have done their own thing enabling for you to be with your other grown up child's family. Alternate family Christmas's is only fair.

Hey feeling sorry for yourself is ok too! I really understand how you feel. Reaching out is your first step to making your 1st Christmas not cooking amazing for you and your two dogs.

On a few occasions I've spent Christmas on my own and really didn't mind it at all once I got used to the idea. Sometimes not having to go out in inclement weather was an absolute bonus. What I do dislike is the question of how I am spending Christmas Day and having a 'sympathy' invitation added. Nope, I want to be invited for me and not because I'm alone.

Yes I agree with that Kim19 don't want to be the sympathy person.

Good ideas Bella23 to do all the nice things you don't always have time for. Buy in some nice food, get a new book or film, a walk with your dogs and curl up on the sofa to relax. Bliss.
Have a lovely Christmas with your dogs Jane it's very much a positive for me, your dogs give you unconditional love.

Kim19 yes most certainly it's obviously a better option being invited for the right reasons but when you are alone and lonely...there is not always that option.

that is beautifully said and thank you for everyone for the honesty it's uplifting. 😊

I would echo the advice of other posters. Do exactly what you want to do. Have a lie in, walk the dog, eat some treats and watch slushy Tv or netflix. Spoil yourself - you deserve it.

Ive been on my own on christmas day for many years. I just treat it like any other day. I would go to my nephew's house for the day but I dont drive and getting a taxi would be a hassle. So I dont bother. He is coming to see me on boxing day and bringing the dinner. I do the wine and desert. Thats enough for me.

I have a single friend who has spent most of the last 10 Christmas’s alone with 5 dogs. She prefers it that way. She buys herself a small bottle of champagne, something yummy from M&S to eat and sausages for the dogs. She orders herself a new dvd for the evening but enjoys a lovely walk on the beach with the dogs. She says the dogs are less complicated than humans.

You are free to do exactly as you please....enjoy it. Have beans on toast...stay in your pyjamas all day.....watch that soppy film that no-one else enjoys.

I have spent Christmas alone for the past 15 years and thoroughly enjoy it.

My adult children have made arrangements with their in laws which leaves me and dh on our own. If we got on well it would be ok but we don’t. We have grown apart and hardly speak or eat together. The family know this . It’s going to be a horrible day. I will probably go out walking and cook a dinner of sorts but won’t be going to a lot of bother.

When my FIL died we promised MIL that she wouldn’t ever be alone at Christmas. This was something that really concerned her. However we did need to point out that, while she would always be welcome and could stay overnight if she wanted to, the actual plans, menus and guest list would be our choice. The first year was difficult and someone told her afterwards that she didn’t have to come! After that it was fine.

Many years ago, when I was first widowed, the Christmas dilemma came along. I decided to do something independently and joined a group of strangers on a trip to Paris. Couldn't face the long trip of collections on the bus route so simply flew out and joined the group at the hotel. Wonderful decision. Didn't divulge how recent my bereavement had been so no sympathy stuff. Also left my two adult single sons to do their own thing without having to 'look after' me. One of the better decisions of my life.

Kim19

How utterly marvellous!

OP, I’m a very late comer, but I’m with everyone else, indulge yourself and do exactly what you and your beloved dogs love and want to do. Good luck x

I spent a Christmas alone during the pandemic - and found it really quite enjoyable. There was no big spring clean, cooking marathon, hordes of noisy kids - no headache or frantic clean up either.

I had my usual morning dog walk, a leisurely (defrosted, microwaved) dinner, some special treats and watched a film with no interruptions. The evening bath after another walk, then watching TV in bed until tired - all quite a luxury for me. Sometimes I do need company but I enjoy being alone, so can't understand why others worry about it.