Giving up

I agree with you there!
Also I find if I make cakes I end up eating them and as a type 2 that's not what should be doing.
I do try to concentrate on what I can still do. Watch interesting tv, contact friends, read, do jigsaws, do half an hour in the garden.
You are not alone.

Yes watermeadow it does come as a blow. I too used to be a baker of cakes for all and sundry but age and poor sight have put an end to that. I’m trying to look back and be glad that I was able to do it and look forward and find other things that I can do now.

Well the increasing cost of ingredients and oven electricity is a discouragement as well.
I have never been a cake maker, but so appreciate a homemade cake. If you lived near me I would give you a regular order for date and walnut, coffee and walnut, banana and walnut. Lemon drizzle. Anything with raspbereies and almonds. Iced cakes like birthday and wedding I am not keen on. I don't like hard icing.

What has actually put you off? No requests? Can't be bothered? Fussy recipients? Too tired?

I bought a banana and walnut cake at a church coffee morning and it was such a treat. It lasted me a week for teatimes with a cup of tea. So much nicer than a shop bought one. Maybe I will encourage myself.

I did make an apple cake yesterday with a crumble topping. Found it very frustrating and didn't enjoy it like I used to. So I think I am on the way there to not bothering.

You really are not alone, please don’t give up, despair or be sad.

Sometimes at my lowest ebb I suddenly remember I’m still actually still alive, I have a roof over my head none can removed and warmth, food, family and friends.

No wealth, but what many of us have, money simply cannot buy.

Sometimes we have to stop, and remember what we do have.

Today, as every day, DH is out with our ageing and rather smelly cocker spaniel. I have three naughty mini sausages here (Daxies) on my bed, whilst I wait for DH to come in and bring me a lovely hot coffee, fresh from beans, in my lovely warm bed where I’m currently typing to all you lovely Gransnetters.

Let’s be grateful for what we do have and try hard not to mourn our losses. 🩵🙏💕

I hear you watermeadow, the key phrase is " used to".

It's not easy for sure. What are your circumstances, away from the cakes!

I can understand how you are feeling. I used to be the cake maker and baker extraordinaire for family friends and charities. I used to be able to combine my creative ideas with the baking and have made cakes ranging from a steam train, the latest fast bullet train, a football field complete with goal posts and nets etc. But the combination of being type 2 diabetic, and my back wont let me stand for long, I still have the tins and some ingredients if I suddenly take a fancy to making something, but now I dont have cakes here (medal medal) but combine supporting various charities, and having a treat, as I go to the occasional coffee morning in aid of whatever, latest being Marie Curie, where I can enjoy going to lovely little village halls ,and of course , the great bakers there are usually up to WI standards and I have the pleasure of a choice . So I treat myself to one piece of something, and enjoy it, without the effort of washing up or making them.

I think we all get a bit down when we realize that certain things are too much for us now. My constant thing I miss so much is to be able to walk especially in Swaledale , and to be able to garden as I used to. However I then have the excuse, whenever I have a better day, to leave boring indoor jobs and make the most of any decent weather to get out and about.It doesnt always work but it is certainly a help, and getting into the countryside always cheers me up. I think there should be a prescription of a bus ride or a chance to be dropped off in the countryside for a little while.

Now of course is the start of the school year and the various different courses for adults. Is there anything you had fancied doing but never got round to? I have done lots of different things over the years and now not only can you learn something with U3A or nightschool things but they give you a chance to meet up with others and save on the heating at home!! I think this time of year can be depressing because we see the bad weather coming and less light, but then that goes and we can enjoy the indoor things. I really enjoy my weekly whist drive, it is a mix of the game and the company and it gets my brain working, and stops me thinking of depressing things for a while. Hope you find something you can enjoy, and let the WI or the charity coffee mornings provide you with the cakes. It is your turn to be the customer now, and that means you can buy a couple of different pieces so you have the variety and you are doing someone a good turn buying them.

I try with every fibre of my being to be thankful for what I have: beautiful home with to-die-for views, kind friends, loving family, and activities I enjoy that require little physical strength and with which I can make a contribution to the community. But nothing can dispel the gloom of the physical failure and feeling so ill every minute ... every action requires an effort of will and determination not to give in. It is pretty tiring!
What I wouldn't give to be able to have a holiday, a day out, an outing ... just anything at all without pain and giddiness.
But I did make a cake the other day! ... one I have made successfully many times ... and it fell to pieces and is residing in bits in a plastic box! It's very delicious, but lacks integrity ... it is made with olive oil and flax eggs so has no saturated fat. Horribly healthy! Maybe I just need some crap food and some E numbers!!

Sorry "watermeadow" I have re read your post and my questions in my post you already have answered.

I don't know what the answer is to your post. So I will send you a hug instead. Mondays can be sad days. I am sure your cakes were very much appreciated over the years and I expect you enjoyed making them. Good advice from other posters.

Luckygirl3

I try with every fibre of my being to be thankful for what I have: beautiful home with to-die-for views, kind friends, loving family, and activities I enjoy that require little physical strength and with which I can make a contribution to the community. But nothing can dispel the gloom of the physical failure and feeling so ill every minute ... every action requires an effort of will and determination not to give in. It is pretty tiring!
What I wouldn't give to be able to have a holiday, a day out, an outing ... just anything at all without pain and giddiness.
But I did make a cake the other day! ... one I have made successfully many times ... and it fell to pieces and is residing in bits in a plastic box! It's very delicious, but lacks integrity ... it is made with olive oil and flax eggs so has no saturated fat. Horribly healthy! Maybe I just need some crap food and some E numbers!!

I found your post very interesting. Once, a cousin of mine in Germany, baked some beautiful German Christmas biscuits. She sent them in a large box. When they arrived, they were a box of crumbs. There was literally no biscuit piece left. My mother decided she would get out some lovely ice cream and serve them with the crumbs. We all thoroughly enjoyed the dish and my poor cousin was non the wiser.

I sometimes give in...and have a day when I am completely self-indulgent/lazy. I used to be a carpe diem type, but now I really don't care if I don't achieve. That brings me down a bit and I think about ageing and decay. That is depressing.

So, I do really try hard now to adhere to the " gather ye rose buds while ye may" philosophy.
Keeping busy and having plans is the best way to combat that sort of thinking so I do try to ensure I go out, accept invitations, plan journeys, days out, etc, and keep in touch with friends.
It is becoming more of an effort though.

I've gifted my Kenwood to a younger family member. I culled my cake tins and all the number candles that were lurking around. (Probably left over from my children's birthday cakes who are both knocking on the door of 50 now).

Life is like the chapters of a book, when one is finished you move to the next, never knowing what it may bring.

It's easy to dip into those feelings of loss, or regret, as we get older. And probably quite normal. My retirement trip to Australia and New Zealand never materialised due to Covid, ill-health and other things that got in the way, and I still pine for it a bit. But I have travelled much of the world and those experiences are all tucked away in my treasure chest of life.

2SpinDriftCoastal ..... I am eating the cake from a bowl with fruit and yoghurt on top ... it is yummy!

HelterSkelter1

Well the increasing cost of ingredients and oven electricity is a discouragement as well.
I have never been a cake maker, but so appreciate a homemade cake. If you lived near me I would give you a regular order for date and walnut, coffee and walnut, banana and walnut. Lemon drizzle. Anything with raspbereies and almonds. Iced cakes like birthday and wedding I am not keen on. I don't like hard icing.

What has actually put you off? No requests? Can't be bothered? Fussy recipients? Too tired?

I bought a banana and walnut cake at a church coffee morning and it was such a treat. It lasted me a week for teatimes with a cup of tea. So much nicer than a shop bought one. Maybe I will encourage myself.

I love a homemade cake (not my own 🤣😂🤣)

Life is like the chapters of a book, when one is finished you move to the next, never knowing what it may bring.

I love this!

I love the chapters of a book analogy too.

I’ve gone the opposite way re cakes. I started making tea bread and banana bread and always have a slice to start my day ( I’m a night owl and my day begins at 12). I use pre measured cups and plastic containers so I just throw the ingredients in a bowl quickly ( I do add healthy stuff like flax and blueberries, use organic wholemeal flour and reduce the sugar) I obviously don’t make proper cakes, the sort that my daughter and DIL make. However I only do it because I’m very much stuck at home because of my bad knee and sadly my cake and coffee at twelve is the highlight of my day. If it wasn’t for that I’d probably just carry on sleeping.

I am trying to have a busy day followed by a quieter one these days and then I look forward to the quieter one.
OP are you able to get out and about?

I have definitely lost my cake-making mojo, and only in my mid 60s, I don't even feel I can blame my age.

Thinking back, I think it started when I had to have two new ovens within little more than a year, and had a lot of trouble finding the right temperature setting in them. Around the same time, I bought my airfryer, so rarely needed to use the oven anyway, and became very reluctant to do so.

As a result, I have lost the ability to quickly rustle up a cake on the spur of the moment, and on the odd occasion where I do make one now (usually requests from children), the results are nowhere as good as they used to be. And I find it exhausting too!

The youngest dgc still wants to bake with me sometimes, but fortunately he seems to prefer making biscuits anyway, as he enjoys using the biscuit cutters. As long as I am careful not to let them burn (either the biscuits or dgs ), its a lot harder to go wrong with biscuits.

I bake birthday cakes for birthdays for the family but is getting much harder, I used to enjoy it but is a chore now yet they derive such joy from it.

Cossy

*Life is like the chapters of a book, when one is finished you move to the next, never knowing what it may bring.*

I love this!

I think I've reached the epilogue!

A close friend, about my age, liked to bake for various local charities and fund-raising generally, but then one particular charity clamped down on her, ungraciously, citing Health & Hygiene and telling her she would need a licence from the local authority.

It nearly knocked the stuffing out of her.

I think the Health & Hygiene thing was an excuse because her cakes weren't 'proffessional' enough for their snobbish requirements.

She never bakes now - not even for herself.

Margs

A close friend, about my age, liked to bake for various local charities and fund-raising generally, but then one particular charity clamped down on her, ungraciously, citing Health & Hygiene and telling her she would need a licence from the local authority.

It nearly knocked the stuffing out of her.

I think the Health & Hygiene thing was an excuse because her cakes weren't 'proffessional' enough for their snobbish requirements.

She never bakes now - not even for herself.

That is horrid. The poor woman, after giving up so much of her time and spending so much money on ingredients. Some people never think about how much a person can be hurt by things like this.

I don't bake for myself, but I bake once a week with my dear granddaughter. This week it's going to be a cherry bakewell cake. It's good fun baking with her, but less fun cleaning the kitchen afterwards!