Still doing things 'properly'

My husband is similar. He has high standards. Better than much of today’s sloppiness.

😁
He wants to give the best impression of himself as a competent and alert man who brooks no nonsense.Not a bad idea when dealing with anyone who comes into the home to do a paid job.

I’m with you Marg invite them in, offer a drink and let them get on, no hovering over them!

There is a certain poignancy to this. I think of my Dad in his suit on a Sunday, my mother always refered to people by their surname ( unless it was a friend), the little ritual of waiting on the doorstep before being invited in, not eating on the street which was deemed rude.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being in clean shorts a nice polo shirt and sandals on a very hot day. Getting on with an inside job he had lined up. Better to be busy and all about than the very highly tense person he is at the moment as said electician has yet to show up. He can still be alert to anything surely.

My mother always referred to a friend at work as Mrs. Smith and DH hates being called by his first name by people who don’t know him especially if it is accompanied by Hi! I have no strong feelings either way .

Marg75

I don't think there is anything wrong with being in clean shorts a nice polo shirt and sandals on a very hot day. Getting on with an inside job he had lined up. Better to be busy and all about than the very highly tense person he is at the moment as said electician has yet to show up. He can still be alert to anything surely.

He’s anxious is all, many older men become this way as it’s loss of testosterone that affects them.Also men don’t multitask as women do, so he’s waiting for this task to be out of the way before he gets on with his day.It’s just the way he is and lots of men will be.

This reminds me of a sweet memory-
Many moons ago one of DH's customers, a lovely older gent set himself up with a garden chair in the corner of the room whilst DH fitted his brand new kitchen.
Every day for a week, only taking himself off to make them both a cup of tea & there was always a piece cake & a kitkat.
At the end of the fit he was a little teary and said how much he'd enjoyed himself.

Awww, that’s nice but sad too.😢

My late Dad was a stickler for self presentation. Even in advanced old age and unwell he'd wear a tie with his pyjamas!
When he was working (as a GP) he'd often comment on elderly ladies who'd greet him wearing a hat even though they were ill in bed. Standards!!

We were always away on holiday when my dad had his birthday. He always wore a shirt, tie and jacket on the beach (either Rhyl or Isle of Man, so never very hot). I bought him a cravat one year, so he swapped his tie for it. He was very natty on the beach that year.

I love that story keepcalm. Actually I love watching tradesmen working. All the gadgets they use and how they do things. So I could be that old lady in a deckchair in the corner of the kitchen. But I would be in shorts and a tee.

I think in OPs case her DH is maintaining control..of something, anything. I don't think she will change him now.

I've just come to realise after reading your replies that I'm actually living with both my father and father in-law!

I sympathise I’ve got one like that too. He cant think or do anything else until the task is completed, he then makes me tense, why I have no idea. It’s exhausting.

Aveline

My late Dad was a stickler for self presentation. Even in advanced old age and unwell he'd wear a tie with his pyjamas!
When he was working (as a GP) he'd often comment on elderly ladies who'd greet him wearing a hat even though they were ill in bed. Standards!!

I have pictures of my Grandmother on a beach in a dress and hat.

I felt sad when my Dad started wearing jogging bottoms.

Its the armed services background. My father (ex-army) was the same, so was a late friend, ex-Navy.

We are doing up a house we have an endless stream of workmen going through the house. Currently there are 2 trademen reroofing a single story extension, a plumber fitting anew bathroom suite and an electrician. I make them welcome, make offers of coffee/tea and several times a day go and inspect progress and have a chat.

I am wearing what I would be wearing on any ordinary day in summer. Today it is capri pants and a shirt.

HelterSkelter1

I love that story keepcalm. Actually I love watching tradesmen working. All the gadgets they use and how they do things. So I could be that old lady in a deckchair in the corner of the kitchen. But I would be in shorts and a tee.

I think in OPs case her DH is maintaining control..of something, anything. I don't think she will change him now.

Such an important thing to have…control.
My mum has recently come to live with us, in an annex, and has lost control over so much. Not her bladder thank goodness!

When we had our extended kitchen done my late DH who used to be a building contracts manager for a-big company, spent his whole day watching them like a hawk, fortunately it turned out as they constantly tried to shortcut things. I also have photos of my dad on the beach in a collar and tie . DH dressed quite casually once he’d retired , hardly ever wore a suit and tie. He went back to his student hippie attire jeans shorts and t shirts!

My FiL was a military man, and he was the same, everything he did was well organised, and he was immaculately dressed always. We inherited an electric fire when he moved into residential care, and he’d stuck a label inside, where he’d recorded every date on which he’d changed the bulb in the last fifteen years, which made me laugh, that was so him.

Erica 23 I know what you mean, I'm exhausted, to add to it all the electrician was late. I'm going to lie down for a couple of hours!

It is all to do with how you feel comfortable.
My father, when ill, after being sent home from hospital to recuperate, would arrive downstairs fully dressed apart from a jacket, which he had replaced with his dressing gown, the type with facings and frogging, and his polished leather slippers.
Staying in bed was anathema to him.

My Mum liked people to look professional at work. She hated to see cooks or chefs looking grubby and liked to see their hair covered up. She always wore a clean apron when cooking at home and tied her hair out of the way.

She was aghast when receptionists at the surgery said “hiya” or addressed her as “Hun”. I dislike that too actually.

My Dad was particular too and even though he was a painter and decorator and wore white overalls he always wore a shirt and tie underneath. Likewise he always wore polished shoes at work. He was horrified at his elderly brother’s funeral. He was one of the longest serving policemen in the county many years ago so my Dad told them about his funeral arrangements. They sent a couple of special constables to the service and talk about scruffy! Crumpled uniforms and filthy unpolished shoes. My Dad said my Uncle would be turning in his grave.

My DH has always been a smart man, his token gesture to being casual would be a polo shirt or short sleeved shirt with trousers. After his stroke I make sure I help him to dress in smart clothes and have a close shave when someone is coming or we are going to visit somebody because I know it is important to him.
My father was the same, he would take time to polish his shoes and our shoes on a regular basis and go to the beach wearing his trousers and shirtsleeves rolled up.

Casdon

My FiL was a military man, and he was the same, everything he did was well organised, and he was immaculately dressed always. We inherited an electric fire when he moved into residential care, and he’d stuck a label inside, where he’d recorded every date on which he’d changed the bulb in the last fifteen years, which made me laugh, that was so him.

My Dad too was ex military. To the day he died he kept a note book in the car in which he wrote the date and how much fuel he’d bought and also when he’d topped up the oil.
My grandfather was the same although not military. I have a leather bound note book in which he kept a note of every purchase for his children. “ Dorothy - school skirt 1/6. Reading Book 3d”. All added up and carried over to the next page 🤦‍♀️. Also a list of guest houses visited for holidays with their pluses & minuses for future reference & comments on whether the landlady was suitable and friendly 🤣