A question about grandchildren.

Oh what a sad situation Curiousdan - so these are your husband’s grandchildren ? Or , you are probably the grandfather (going by your name) ? And the children are by 2 different “fathers”? Or was that a typo ? I’m so confused, but I feel for everyone concerned. I can’t advise, regarding how much money to send etc…..it depends on your financial situation and your desire to help. I hope someone else will along, who will understand your situation better than I do. Good luck !

I am sorry you don't have the relationship you hoped for

Have you and your husband considered grief counselling to help you recover?

Yes, my husband's grandchildren but I've always classed them as mine too. There's 7 years between the children and they have different fathers. The one father is a layabout and the other one is aggressive but stepdaughter didn't realise this until she was involved. It's incredibly sad.

VioletSky

I am sorry you don't have the relationship you hoped for

Have you and your husband considered grief counselling to help you recover?

We haven't and in not sure my husband would.

Curiousdan, what sort of relationship do you have with the children’s maternal grandmother? Is she approachable? If so, I think I’d get in touch with her to discuss the possibility of finding a way forward.
All the best in a sad situation - I hope things will work out well.

Thanks for clearing that Curiousdan - your hearts must be breaking - just be there for each other. I hope the fathers will find it in their hearts to let the children reconnect with you and your husband. The poor children will now be separated, I suppose. My heart aches for them. All of you need counselling to deal with this horrible situation.

If you are in touch with the other grandmother ask if the children have bank accounts. We give our GC money paid directly into their own bank accounts. I hope you can work out a way to maintain a relationship.

Imarocker

If you are in touch with the other grandmother ask if the children have bank accounts. We give our GC money paid directly into their own bank accounts. I hope you can work out a way to maintain a relationship.

I think the idea of settingup bank accounts in their names is sound. You can then give them to them when they reach the age of 18 or 21 whichever you decide. it would be good if you could also try to keep contact via cards or facetime through their grandmother if she's agreeable.. at least then they'll know they haven't been forgotten.. it might be that the fathers are unable to cope and social services might become involved so it would be wise to keep some sort of contact

What a terribly sad situation.

I think you’d need their birth certificates to set up bank accounts - I know I did for my DGSs.

Georgesgran yes you are correct, even with Junior ISA's.. what a shame.. but I suppose a separate savings account, in curiousdan's husbands name, with the children in mind could be set up.. such a sad situation..

What a very sad situation. It sounds as though the only way you have to try and have a link with them is via their maternal grandmother. I wonder if she’d be willing to give you contact details of the fathers

Thanks for your replies. My DH's ex will tell us about the children and we may be able to see them via her. The whole thing feels awkward though because we never really got to know them due to the distance and other factors. Stepdaughter's first partner was antisocial and possessive over their son. She worked long hours sometimes 7 days a week and we rarely saw them. As he got older, grandson didn't want to face time. It's a bit of a mess really.
A bank account is a good idea.

Please be careful about sending any money to a bank account you don’t know for certain is in the child’s name. Don’t accept the word of anyone you don’t trust implicitly to tell the truth.

I speak from bitter experience. If your bank offers an account name verification when setting up a transfer it is wise to use it.