How to deal with rude people!

Can you be more specific? what sort of situation, what sort of rudeness? Examples?

Ignore them!

Unfortunately I am often lost for words and taken by surprise when people are rude, because I am polite myself. I wish I had better responses up my sleeve, but a simple "how rude!" may do?

On here ? Or in RL ?

Either way in my current situation I just tell myself it’s not worth getting stressed .

Humour works well.

(I ask because its very different if its a family member, a close friend, an acquaintance, a person say in a bank, or someone in a position of power for example, and one person's rudeness is another's straight talking)

Has this just come about from an argument on another thread, which I have only just read through on a wet Monday morning? If so, ignore my answer here about humour. I'm out.

It comes to something that I feel guilty about using the word "humour". I'm off to work now anyway.

Be supernice to them. They usually can’t cope with that, it works a dream. This is in real life scenarios, not on the internet and chat lines. I think it is best to totally ignore those that are rude online. Don’t give any feedback and let them stew in their own juice! Not that we have anyone like that here on gransnet ( or very few).

Humour can be a good way. yes. As in - laugh, and say " you're so funny" , or " its a good job I know you're joking because that would be so rude otherwise!" Even if you know they meant it, be careful of reacting- because some people try to provoke an emotional response to amuse themselves because they are toxic.

Sometimes I find the best response is no response. I love the quote "silence is an answer too".

It was really just a hypothetical post for a very wet, dark Monday morning for Gransnetters to answer as they chose.

Someone IRL recently said to me " who do you think you are!" , which I found rude and ignored- because I don't feel the need to explain myself or justify my existence to anyone. You will push some people's buttons simply by being you because you will shine too bright for some people. That doesn't mean you should dim your sparkle for anyone, it just means you have to be choosy about spending time with people who are good for you and who "get" you.

Yes it's extremely dark today! I realised it's raining too! Waiting for it to get lighter and dryer!

LRavenscroft

First world scenario but could be useful in a social situation. What phrases or tactics do Gransnetters recommend for dealing with rude people?

Difficult this one as the answer often depends on the situation.
Could you define rude please?
Rude behaviour-e.g. spitting, over exposure of body parts?
rude language- like swearing, or personal comments
or just anything you’ve read, heard or seen that you find unacceptable?

I never seem to come across rudeness. Is it a common problem?

I usually just walk away, obviously finding a zinging comeback three hours later.

The response I want to try to a particular rude comment was one I read either on GN or on FB last week:

Rude person: "Cheer up! It might never happen!"
Me: "I was all smiles 'til you got here."

I suffer from resting bitch face, so it happens a fair bit, despite having a pretty cheery disposition in reality.

Actually, I don't suffer from RFB at all, my face looks fine from my side of it 🙃

LRavenscroft

It was really just a hypothetical post for a very wet, dark Monday morning for Gransnetters to answer as they chose.

Well, in that case it definitely varies.
They might come across as rude because they are having a bad day; or are stressed.
They might come across as rude because you are being over sensitive.
They might come across as rude as they are retaliating to something unreasonable that you have done.
They might come across as rude because you’ve got the wrong end of the stick.
They might come across as rude as they are genuinely unpleasant.
They might come across as rude because they want to provoke you.

So it’s best to ignore it, as otherwise you run the risk of being rude yourself

Ailidh that’s funny!
Some bloke in a pub told me to ‘cheer up, it might not happen’ on the eve of my mom’s funeral

The way that comes naturally to you at the time. You might regret it later but you got your feelings said at the time.
Or turn it back to them and ask if they have to be so rude. It usually works.

Grandma70s

I never seem to come across rudeness. Is it a common problem?

Me neither.
I recently read something along the lines of, if you meet an a***hole once in a while; that person is an a***hole.
If you are constantly coming across a***holes; then you are the a***hole.

(Apologies for the rather ripe language!)

People who shout are usually put on the back foot if you speak so quietly that they have to struggle to hear you - that works quite well. Other than that, I usually find the perfect cutting remark some time after the incident!

Yes I have a delayed reaction too!

I find silence works well because it involves no effort or emotional energy, and it leaves them wondering

I just smirk at them and walk off, although when I worked in shops I would of been super nice and always shouted 'oh and thank you very much' because it seemed to irritate them more.

I try not to get into a dispute but if someone is just rude in the shops it's a raised eyebrow, a sigh or an 'Oh Really'. It its more than that then my inner Lady Bracknell comes out and almost anything can be said. No swearing though.

You haven't lived near a certain city in the North East I have Fanny. Their favourite word is to call people "Arsy", and will use it to your face. They are abrupt and confrontational ALL the time.
I moved there from Newcastle where everything is a laugh and a joke and got such a shock.
On my first day at work I was told by the Head I was not her choice and I had been foisted on her by the Education Authority. What a welcome and she professed to be a Christian. The other staff were worse.It took a long time for the children and myself to settle in. My friends were not local. We were a group of resented incomers and made to feel it. We had to teach the children what sticking two fingers up meant. DH called it the F...... salute .

Sarcasm usually works.

I think my face most probably says it all