Birthday gift

A box set of a series you know for certain she dislikes.

It could backfire and she may actually like it!

A set of saucy underwear...... the kind with tassels?

How about one of those little mini defuzzers for facial hair ?

A joke book about appallingly tactless and rude people.

I wouldn’t bother giving anything if that’s her attitude.

Put nothing in a box with a label saying “ a little box of nothing as nothing pleases you’.

I’m feeling a bit off today with people who give no thought for the feelings of others . Sometimes they need a bit of their own medicine.

I love Ginny's suggestion ?

A gift voucher for Boots should be just about right!

TBH I wouldn’t waste my money on her, just send a card and tell her that the next time you see her you will bring a picnic.

Oopsadaisy is right don't waste your money on a gift that won't be appreciated. The only suitable gift I can think of is a one way ticket to somewhere far away hoping that she does not come back! She may be your Sister but you do not have to put up with her rudeness.

Perhaps donate to a charity in her name to mark the occasion and explain to her that at the age of 70 she probably has everything she needs and you wont be sending anymore gifts.

Good idea May7 and not one she can complain about!
?

Lots of charities have gift cards you can give to the person you have "bought" the gift for.

A multipack of disposable sheweesto show how much she’s peed you off?

May7, my sister who was 70 this year actually asked me to make a donation to charity in her name. She is notoriously difficult to buy for but I had already bought her a present after many lockdown hours spent internet browsing to find just the right thing. She said she liked it - but I can't be 100% certain that she did.

A DIY tool kit ?

Just what you need!

Worst present I ever received was a "soap on a rope", slightly used with one pubic hair stuck to it. (I suspect we had arrived at my aunt's house unexpectedly and she'd just wrapped the first thing she could grab!)

I tried to send a pic but it didn’t work.

You could twin her toilet! It’s a charity that builds toilets in poor and remote areas around the world. I’ve got a lovely photo of my latrine in Cambodia. ?
www.toilettwinning.org/

She reminds me of my mother who when opening a gift from me, looked at it turned to one of my sisters saying "I don't want this. Do you?" What galled the most was that she then spent an hour telling me how wonderful the presents my sisters gave her.

Conveniently !!! forget it is her /was her birthday

Lots of great suggestions here, charity if you are feeling generous, a little box of nothing as Ginny suggests if you are in a sarcastic mood, or just plain nothing if you rather forget it's her 70th!