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My Mam

(113 Posts)
Vicbar Sat 01-Feb-20 18:31:58

Hello,

I dont know if you 'knew' my mam, I know she posted here occasionally.

Her name was Ella Keat (i think).

She had cancer and was struggling a bit because someone on here knew who she was and spread private information to the whole village.

My mam died yesterday.

I cannot believe I am saying that. I am sitting in her house, her home and saying she has gone. So quickly.
I dont know how much she was on here. I know she read a lot, but I dont know if she was one of you, if you know what I mean,
My mam was amazing. I will never be the woman she was. She died before she ebven made her sixties. She fostered dozens of children, a multitude of donkeys, goats and llamas (!), and worked tirelessly with both a foodbank and homeless charity.

She is irreplaceable.

I really do not know if you knew her, but I do knownthat she 'knew' you, somthought I would report in.

I cannot tell you how much she will be missed.

tiredoldwoman Sat 01-Feb-20 18:43:40

flowers So sorry to hear about your Mam , you've written beautifully about her . thank you . x

SueDonim Sat 01-Feb-20 18:44:48

I am so sorry for your loss. sad I do remember her threads. It’s very kind of you to think of your mother’s virtual friends here on Gransnet. Xx

NanTheWiser Sat 01-Feb-20 18:45:23

I am so sorry to see this - I did read some of her posts, and she sounded such an amazing person, so my condolences to you, you must be in bits right now.

Be comforted by the fact she didn't suffer very long, I hope her death was a 'good' one, if you know what I mean.

flowers for you.

nanaK54 Sat 01-Feb-20 18:46:46

My sincere condolences flowers how kind of you to post

cornergran Sat 01-Feb-20 18:57:08

I’m so sorry you’ve lost your Mam. Thank you for finding us to tell us, many will remember her with love.

GrannyGravy13 Sat 01-Feb-20 19:00:03

Sorry for your loss Vicbar flowers

BradfordLass73 Sat 01-Feb-20 19:00:47

Oh yes, I knew her and very much valued her postings. Like me, she loved donkeys and that gave us a link.

I am sure she will be deeply missed, including here. It's people like your Mam who are the diamonds, shining in this dull world and give us something to aspire to.

I shall certainly miss the person whom I thought of as 'The Donkey Lady' smile

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. You were blessed to have her as a loving, caring example.

seacliff Sat 01-Feb-20 19:01:52

I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't know she was ill, very sad for you and your family to lose her so young. She sounds such a kind and energetic person, you must be very proud of her. Thanks for thinking to tell us. flowers

Greenfinch Sat 01-Feb-20 19:07:07

She seemed so brave when talking about her illness even including some humour. I did admire her. Thank you for putting us in the picture. I have been thinking about her.

Marydoll Sat 01-Feb-20 19:08:47

Vicbar, I was in contact with your mam, on a number of occasions.
I wondered how she was doing as she had deregistered from GN.

I'm sorry to hear of her death and shocked at how sudden it has all been.

She had talked of renting a big house for a family holiday in May, then realised that it wouldn't happen.
I was sad and angry when I heard that some one had found out who she was and she felt she had to leave GN.

My deepest condolences. ?

KatyK Sat 01-Feb-20 19:10:52

I'm so sorry flowers I used to enjoy reading her posts. She seemed lovely. How sad.

Vicbar Sat 01-Feb-20 19:14:22

BradfordLass73 - she certainly was a donkey lady!

One of her goats is missing her dreadfully at the moment, as well as her other animals.
I just dont know how we will cope without her. She was tireless, From troubled teenagers to orphaned kittens, she made a home for everyone.
Just at the time she needed help for once, those closest to her were not there.
I cannot express the deep distress I feel on her behalf.

Smileless2012 Sat 01-Feb-20 19:15:55

I don't think I knew your mam Vicbar and having read you very moving post, I wish I had.

My sincere condolences for your lossflowers.

annsixty Sat 01-Feb-20 19:21:28

Sincere condolences to you and your family.
Your mam (a name I grew up with) was an amazing woman and I know she posted about her illness.
You have much to be proud of and you will always have her in your heart.

Grandmashe43 Sat 01-Feb-20 19:27:04

Your beloved mam will never leave you, she’s only ever a thought away, so very sad fo you.

Sar53 Sat 01-Feb-20 19:32:25

I'm so sorry for your loss flowersx

Buffybee Sat 01-Feb-20 19:32:53

I read your Mam's threads and posted on them a couple of times.
I was upset and angry when someone on here, recognised her and gossiped around her village.
She posted photos of her Donkeys and Llama and I understood what a lovely person she was. Even more so now you have told us about her fostering and care of animals.
She was a special Lady and will be sadly missed.

kittylester Sat 01-Feb-20 19:34:03

I read some of her post and really enjoyed them. I was sorry she was outed! She sounds wonderful. flowers

brook2704 Sat 01-Feb-20 19:34:04

So sorry for you loss - I didn’t know your mam but she sounds like a lovely lady. I’m sure she’ll be missed by many
Sending hugs and ?

QuaintIrene Sat 01-Feb-20 19:38:48

My sincere condolences.
I enjoyed hearing about the animals your mum cared for.
I didn’t know she felt unable to post. I can see why, now. How thoughtless.
Thank you for telling us.
Once again, I am so sorry for your loss ?

BlueBelle Sat 01-Feb-20 19:45:19

Oh that’s made me cry I was talking to her just before she deregistered very very recently about two weeks ago She was funny and kind and loved her donkeys and was it ...llamas ?
Her last post was very very difficult to read, I was trying to private message her but she had withdrawn from GN
She knew she was in the last period of her life but was planning a family get together and I don’t think she thought it was so close
My deepest love to you vicbar
Wrap your memories in cotton wool and keep them all deep within in your heart
Thank you so much for posting and God bless Ella

jacq10 Sat 01-Feb-20 19:48:12

It is at times like this we think life is not fair when someone like your Mam is taken so young. Thank you so much for taking time to let us know of her passing. You and your family are in my thoughts at this sad time.

Vicbar Sat 01-Feb-20 19:58:01

Please forgive me for copying a post I also made on Mumsnet, but it encompasses everything.
Do you know, she was incredible.
When I was fifteen I had a friend who was in a very bad place. My mam fostered her. She then fostered a sixteen year old, getting him a home and job, then went 'official', and went on to foster over thirty teenagers. Every single one of them ended up in a home, or place of their own, and with a job to go to. She used to go from 6am until 10pm every day, sorting things out. We never wanted for anything. But she did, because every spare penny she ever had went to kids or animals. My mam spent bugger all on herself.
I can't do what she did. I just do not have that drive. She was incredible.

Whenever we turned up at her house, within an hour, a full meal appeared.
Just like that.
There was always a bed, always food, always love. Never questions, never judgement.
She was only in her late fifties. How bloody unfair is that?

She had just been on a foreign holiday. The first she had had for years, because she spent her money on others, and it was a disaster. She was only home for a few days before died.

Sorry. I am rambling. Just cannot believe she has gone.

annsixty Sat 01-Feb-20 20:01:38

What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful person.
You are privileged to have had her for your mum.