Right....
Find the paper - I know I had some left over from last year.....now, where did I put it?
Selotape? - got that - no problem
Scissors? - yes, here they are.
Labels? - where can they be?
Pen? - all set to go now.
1. Cut piece of paper - how to make it square? Ah, which present will fit this jagged triangle?
2. Wrap paper round present - oh paper a bit big - cut off the spare - I can use that on another present - no too small for anything.
3. Carefully enclose the present and get the selotape - ah - how to make the paper stay put while I fight with the selotape machine? I know put a heavy item on it - great - a book is just the ticket!
4. Pull a length of selotape - oh, it has stuck itself together - throw that one away - go to pull another - oh, the end has got lost. Remove selotape from dispenser and fight for the end - replace in dispenser - and draw off suitable amount.
5. Oh dear, I have jogged the book and the present needs re-wrapping - no problem - easy-peasy - ah.....what do I do with the bit of selotape I have drawn? I know - stick it to side of table while I re-wrap paper
6. Re-wrap and go to grasp the selotape which has curled up and stuck itself to the table. Hmmmmm......Book comes in again; new selotape drawn off - grasp book and tug it speedily off present, whilst trying to catch the paper down with my bit of rapidly curling selotape.
6. Ah - a bit messy but will have to do; now for the label. Oh - roll of labels has leapt unbidden into its cardboard and requires several minutes to be persuaded out again. No worries, I've got it now!
7. Stick label to present - brilliant! Oh, can't write label whilst it is stuck on as pressure of pen will spoil the gift beneath.
8. No problem; I will write a new one from the roll and stick it over the old one when I have written it. Oh - roll of labels has leapt unbidden into its cardboard and requires several minutes to be persuaded out again.
9. Success! - now, where did I put that pen.............?
The land is dry, and the people are ...stupid?
