Apparently I'm a whinger!

Dear Elf
It is very upsetting to hear that you are a whinger. I hope that Santa does not get wind of this or you will be off the list. I should keep very quiet indeed about it if I were you.

I think it will be Mr P who is off Santas list. He's the one doing the scoffing.
I saw a dirty van the other day upon which some wag had scrawled a drawing of Santa, and underneath the wording Santa's watching you.

Excuse me phoenix, how long is it since you hoovered under your bed? I heard you had Cheeselets and as I love them soo much I came to find them only to get covered in dust. Really! ?
I buy all my Christmas goodies and put them in bags and tie them in knots before putting them in a cupboard outside.
By the way. We are missing the gammon thread.
I have tried. Others have followed but no phoenix
Tell MrP to stop nicking the snacks and let you get on with the important things in life. If you don’t start cursing the gammon soon, I will come over there and punch his snacks from under his nose.
By the way, where have you hidden the crisps? I can’t find them

Oops. Freudian slip. Pinch his snacks. I would never punch MrP on the nose ?

The "Cursing the Gammon" is so old! However, if GN had a better search function.......

I feel that someone more technically able than I should be able to resurrect the "Cursing the Gammon" thread if wanted.

Doodle not sure if you have noticed, but Cheeselets don't seem to be available outside the "festive" season, when they appear, but only as "Treeslets" Not square!

Not square! That not right. I love them. I don’t eat them as I would eat at least 2 boxes in one sitting

If you Google By Request, The Annual Christmas Ritual of Cursing The Gammon the thread will magically appear!

Is the gammon under the bed too?
I can't find it.

Squiffy I will leave it to those that might want it to do that, but we'll done for that info!

Well, not we'll!

??

Callistemon the gammon is currently in the freezer, and I'm wondering how long I should allow for defrosting, let alone cursing it!

Oh good!
We'll all look forward to the story unfolding

Doodle I buy all my Christmas goodies and put them in bags and tie them in knots before putting them in a cupboard outside

Now there's a brilliant idea. Put Mr.P in the sack, tie it up and hang the greedy old badger outside to 'mature'.