Themed weddings

We had to make an excuse to decline a wedding last year. The bride was the daughter of an ex colleague/friend

The theme was 'glamorous' and the couple asked that the men wear dinner jackets and bow ties and the women come in floor length cocktail dresses and tiaras! All guests were asked to bring a bottle of bubbly to the reception too! We were gob-smacked and decided we really did not want to go to the expense of buying special clothes we wouldn't wear again. I have no reason to ever wear a slinky evening gown!

I heard through the grapevine that many invited did not attend/politely refused, so the gathering was smaller than anticipated. Apparently the hotel could not provide enough ice and wine coolers (or fridge space) for the bottles of bubbly guests brought, so it wasn't a 'champagne galore' do, and the newly weds took the unopened bottles home.

I've been to two mediaeval themed weddings and both were gorgeous but apart from the bridal party, no one else was asked (or told) to turn up in special gear.

I honestly think it's a bit of a cheek to tell guests what to wear - we don't at any other occasion do we?

One of the poshest wedding I went to and where the bride and groom's families had gone to a lot of trouble and expense with all the bells and whistles, was attended by her cousins, 6 of them, in old, tatty t-shirts, unwashed hair and jeans or shorts and Jandals.

I was glad my son, a groomsman, looked smart as paint in black frock coat and embroidered waistcoat like the groom.

I love a chance to dress up in something glam so I love an invite to themed wedding. I did go to a vintage 1950s wedding and it was great fun, lots of guests raided the charity shops, the bride wore her grandmother’s wedding dress, I made an outfit using an original 1950s pattern. More difficult for the men - double breasted suits seemed to be the most common outfit, although there were one or two Elvis/ teddy boy styles. The reception was a bit of a tea party / buffet with vintage china and lots of home made bunting. Didn’t cost the earth.

crystaltipps that sounds fab!

Yes that does sound good crystaltipps In general though I dislike having to dress up for any event.

We too were invited to a wedding and told it was to be full evening dress. We declined, but did for a short moment wonder about me going in a tuxedo and Mr P in a floor length gown!

I love a themed party, have been to many over the years and could probably dress for any era in the clothes I already have. You can find a lot of new “period” clothes on eBay - I once bought a taffeta Edwardian style evening dress on there for around £20, and it’s gorgeous. A lot of it is about the hair and makeup, and accessories that you can easily find at charity shops. As long as expectations aren’t too high, as with the “bring a bottle of champagne” couple (what a cheek!).

I’m gobsmacked by the wedding guests who turned up in old, tatty t-shirts, unwashed hair and jeans or shorts and sandals, which is just so rude and shows a complete lack of respect for the couple getting married. Was there a back story, BradfordLass?

My hairdresser had a 'Goth' wedding. She had a black 'meringue' type dress and everyone else wore black.

I know some people like dressing up, themed or otherwise, but I don't - I don't do formal any more, so I'd decline.

TBH it can be quite expensive enough, attending a wedding anyway, what with travel, overnight stay (we always seem to need to), drinks, present, etc., without having to buy an outfit I'm never going to wear again, and very likely wouldn't feel comfortable in.

It smacks of of Bridezilla to me, though I know others will probably disagree.

This couple met through their love of all things 40’s - tea/swing dances, vintage cars and clothes etc. and so I imagine many of the guests will already have suitable clothes. There will be an afternoon tea and dance, followed by a trip to a local jazz club where we will buy our own evening meal. An overnight stay and a 200 mile journey all add to the cost, but they’re worth it and fortunately we can afford it at the moment.

Things I didn’t know: a new cravat costs £30, swing dresses can be bought without breaking the bank online (mine cost £32), a 40’s hairstyle does NOT suit me and I won’t be wearing one.

It sounds lovely, grannya. I’m jealous.

How good the theme is “doable”, but themed weddings/parties etc., can be expensive. Perhaps to keep costs down you may consider eBay? Have a wonderful day.

phoenix

I hate fancy dress dos, and wouldn’t relish a themed wedding, while others love to get into the spirit of it.
If the couple realized invitations were being declined because of the dress code, I expect they would rather you go, and just wear what you like. It depends whether you think you would stand out or not, and if that would bother you.. I don’t think you would be the only one though, and you’ve got it sorted anyway.

I went to a Christmas ball a couple of years ago and got a beautiful dress from a charity shop for £10 and it was much admired. I also got a suitable dress also from a charity shop for a ‘flowers’ themed anniversary party. Also got a beaded one for a dancing weekend, ditto charity shop. Never had to go to themed wedding though, but I expect you could find something suitable second hand.
The only themed party I enjoyed was ‘bad taste’ were you could chuck any old thing together as long as it looked horrible ?
Enjoy the wedding anyway. I have wandered from the wedding theme, I know.

We've declined two wedding invitations this month. I got really annoyed that a request for cash was included with the invitation. To me, that's just tacky.

My daughter had a fifties style wedding. We had fun buying china tea sets in charity shops for the tables. However she did not expect the guests to dress in fifties style.

Goodness, I'm so out of the loop that I haven't even heard of these far less been invited to one. I recently attended a wedding where my outfit was 27 years old but that was not for public knowledge. I was even complimented as 'monochrome was so in'. Some you win.........

Good friends of ours told us of a themed wedding they attended in the 70s where the theme was "Old Hollywood"
They decided to go as two of the Marx brothers, he as Groucho and she as Harpo, complete with blonde curls.
She was an extremely chatty gregarious lovely person but to stay in character she went through the whole day just miming with gestures, whistles etc and succeeded in not saying a word.
Very, very sadly she is no longer with us but remembered very fondly by all her friends.

IMO the bride and groom should wear whatever they want, it's their day but to inform guests that they have to conform to a dress code is rude, unrealistic and insensitive. However if guests want to join in with the theme and it is made clear it's not expected but a personal choice then ok. To add a purely personal note, I do find themed weddings ever so slightly tacky, but that's just me. Runs for cover!

I would hate it. That said I have declined invitations to fancy dress parties in the past. Perhaps that makes me a spoilsport but I just wouldn’t feel comfortable. Sorry.
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I would enjoy the 'bad taste' theme, and just go in my usual clothes!
I hate dressing up for anything. Having to fit a special theme would be just too much.
Tonight, with members of my choir, I am going to a 'Singalong-a-Mamma Mia' film showing. We will have great fun, belting out the songs. Some of my choir friends are dressing up in character, and really looking forward to it. I can't be a** with anything like that, and will be in my usual nondescript!

How about a 'wedding' themed wedding? I am sick and tired of people getting married as an excuse for n elaborate party. The rule of thumb seems to be the more expensive and outrageous the wedding, the sooner the divorce. Why not just get married and stop the control-freakery?!

We were invited to a cousin's daughter's "Redneck Wedding" in central Florida last November and loved it! Lots of cheesecloth, checked shirts, cowboy boots and bourbon. Best of all was the square dancing, men and women all joining in. Oh and the happy couple were blessed with a beautiful sunset.

I don't know it the same applies in the UK, but here it is considered to be quite wrong for men to wear dinner jackets in church. They should on all formal occasions either wear a suit or a frock coat or full evening dress in church and may change into a dinner jacket before appearing at the reception.

Women may similarly wear long or short evening dresses or what used to be called an afternoon frock, but never cocktail dresses in church.

I am sorry that some of you decide you can't go to a wedding because you can't afford a long dress etc. I belong to a group where occasionally we are asked to wear evening dress and I have bought several at local charity shops for under £10. The same applies to men. In my local charity shops you can buy a man's evening suit for £10. Don't turn your nose up at second hand clothing.