Redundancy

A hug from me, watermeadow. We went through exactly the same thing this time last year with DD1. It was horribly stressful for her because she knew there was a possibility for two months before the axe fell.

Don't make any changes to Christmas. Her confidence will have taken a huge knock so the best way you can support her in the short term is by helping out with Christmas expenses so the DGCs don't miss out.

It took DD five months to find another job but it turned out to be a big step up, providing opportunities that she would never have been offered in her old place.

Just do what you can when you can. I can't advise on benefits etc., although some on here may be able to do just that. It's a horrible time of the year for this to happen but all can you do is help her to remain positive.

Good Luck.

And a hug from me too. It’s horrible to know your children what ever their age are worried, anxious or ill or indeed if anything upsets them. We feel their pain and feel so helpless. I do hope it turns out ok.

And a hug from me too. Same thing happened to my son a few years ago. Just before Christmas and he was the only wage earner. Don't cancel Christmas, the children will need it just do what you can to support and help. Things will work out.

Hugs from me too. Difficult situation for you and more so for DD's family.

I'm with others who've said 'don't cancel Christmas".

Next thing I'd do - we have done this - is to look at what you and any other family Could Do.

Once you know what help could be on offer let your DD know what is available to her and her family if they choose to take the help. Put it on the table and leave your DD and OH to make their choice. It's important that they have control of any help on offer, especially in a situation like this.

We (me, OH and sister) said to one of ours we could pay Mort and household bills for ... if that didn't help we could do ... Just setting out what we as a family were able to do, CV update and other stuff.

Then getting some sort of options in place beyond that our DD felt so much better and was able to start looking at what she could do.

She got out of the 'rabbit in the headlights" and went on to get a better job.

Best of Luck x

Why did you only find out by accident? Is there a difficult situation?

If she is unsure whether she is being treated correctly ACAS are very helpful.

Depending how long she has been in the job she may experience all sorts of emotions so needs all the support she can get. I remember how devastated DH was when it happened to him but we got through it and it was all fine in the end.

Redundancies are happening all the time but this time of the year is a double whammy with Christmas on the horizon which I always wonder why these things can't wait until the New Year.
However it can still knock you sideways when it does happen even if it was foretold and nobody is ever fully prepared for the initial shock with a thousand and one things going through your mind.
All I can advise is to get as much support from the family both emotionally and financially ( if possible ) to see you over Christmas and the New Year.
Try and put it to the back of your mind during the festive season and all do the best you can for the sake of the children.

She will find another job, it is important to be positive. She may be reluctant to talk about it as perhaps she feels you will over react. Rubbish happens, you just have to deal with it. You can only be there is she chooses to talk, perhaps send extra cash for Xmas if funds allow. Equally she would have had notice and a redundancy payment so is probably OK financially for the time being.

It's a horrible horrible feeling as I know only too well. It happened to DH several times in the 1980s. It feels like the the rug's been pulled from under your feet. However, each time he went on to get another job but the best outcome was when he set up his own business with a friend. If only I'd known then what I know now I'd not have crippled myself with worry.
I'd not really considered how the extended family might have felt as we were so wrapped up in our own fears and concerns. Dear MiL just turned up with a cheque to cover the mortgage for a few months. My parents organised for us to have a little holiday which was a bit of a break.
Do talk about it with them. We somehow didn't discuss it with the parents. DH felt ashamed (which was ridiculous) not that it was his fault. I think it might help your DD to be able to talk about it. Can you look after the DGCs so she can get going on necessary CV stuff, job applications and, hopefully, interviews.
Chances are things will be OK but the not knowing is so scary.

A hug from me, specially hard at this time of year. I expect your DD is in shock, help with keeping Christmas as usual for the children, she may well talk to you when she has sorted out what to do, hopefully some redundancy pay.

It is an awful shock when this happens, especially at this time of year. I can understand your DD not wanting to talk about it, she is probably still internally coming to terms with it herself and doesn't want people constantly asking her how the job search is going, especially if it isn't going well. and being sympathetic.

My own daughter went through this recently; made redundant after over twenty years with the same firm. Redundancy knocks your confidence like nothing else. We told her that a safety net was always there if they needed it and left it at that. It took her a year to find another job, and they didn’t need to call on us, but she said it was good to know that they only had to ask if things got really tough. DH was made redundant twice after he left the Army but we had his Service pension to fall back on, and he fairly quickly found other work. Don’t cancel Christmas - keep things as normal as possible for the children. Give your daughter time and space. I’m sure it will come together for her.

My children still reckon one of their best Christmases was the one where, living in the shadow of redundancy, all their presents came from the charity shop

A hug from me too. We went through redundancy ourselves, several times, years ago as a young couple with babies. Horrible but you get through it.
Celebrate Christmas as best you can and offer support when needed. Hope the New Year brings better news for your daughter and family. ?