Christmas

Sorry for your situation, but, thought by your title you were referring to cancer and didn't want your post to fall off the active list with no-one replying as on my page it was at bottom. Maybe to get right people you should ask HQ to amend your title so it's clear which c you are referring to. Hope things won't be as bleak as they appear at present OP.

Right now is probably too early to be worrying about what will happen at Christmas.You are rightly very bothered about the situation and upset, but your DD must have had her reasons, she is an adult, as is your SIL.Just be there to listen sympathetically to all of them when the need arises, the same for your DGC, who I am guessing are teenagers?
Christmas, when it comes, will be different this year, but that, I am afraid, is life, and life does go on,?

Hopefully things will be more settled by Christmas. They wont be the same, but that doesn't necessarily mean it'll be a miserable time. It will be what you make it, and it sounds as if you all have the children's best interests at heart. Hope you can come to terms with things, and feel more able to deal with them.

Why not talk to daughter and her ex-husband and ask how they would like to handle Christmas. Every year many families have to recalibrate their Christmas because of the absence of those who have always been part of it whether the reason is relationship formation or breakdown, death or someone wanting to spend Christmas another way.

The joy of |Christmas is how families adjust and change to all the changes in family circumstances, yet still continue to get together happily whenthe season comes.

If you are expecting it to be horrendous it will be
treat it as normally as possible for the boys sake and MOnica is totally right very few of us have a perfect Christmas for whatever reason be it death, partings, living away, being alone This year you ll have to take it as it comes and make the best of it You don’t say if you’re daughter is living nearby and is on amicable terms with the ex to be husband I think a gentle talk with both concerned adults is the best way forward

I agree there is still time for things to settle down a little. Don't meet problems halfway, certainly don't have too many expectations for Christmas this year, just hope things will be calm and peaceful.

I have a GC whose parents are not together. Their solution to Christmas is that he stays alternate Christmases with each parent. The parent who doesn't have him staying he visits on Christmas morning for present opening, leaving just before Christmas lunch. It seems to work very well and he enjoys being spoiled twice. It does require the parents to communicate and discuss things, but this needs to happen anyway to sort out who is giving what presents. Don't worry too much, things do work out and children are very adaptable.

Agree with Bluebell lots if people will not
have the Xmas they hoped for, its no big deal really. You can still make the most of i its only one day. I may sound unsympathetic, but life is what it is.

Maybe do something different. If things cannot be the same then make some changes. Start new traditions etc . It will be what you make it .