Some time ago I posted about DS and DIL who were very abusive to me about working abroad, about moving away on retirement to our dream home in the sun,(still in the same country as them) and "owing them babysitting". I lent them a lot of money to save their home from being sold from under them, and repeatedly paid power and food bills and so on so that my 5 (!) grandchildren would not go cold and hungry. The DIL swore and screamed at me at several family events (both of them were/are heavy drinkers). I have NEVER done anything negative to them, and have always been kind, supportive and generous. My exH has been very helpful to them also, and they treat him like shit. Now DIL has had a fling with the neighbour, assaulted my DS and had him thrown out of the house, maintaining that he headbutted her, (a witness saw HER headbutt HIM), and coaching the children to say that their father smashed their mother's head onto the marble kitchen bench. DS now sees the children for 2 hours a week in a supervised situation though DIL is consistently late, allowing him sometimes only an hour. He is distraught and was originally suicidal - she now mocks him for being "mental", as he is taking ADs. She blames me for everything that is wrong with my son and her life. He has come to his senses about the way he treated his parents under his wife's influence, and is very remorseful. We were always very close, as he was terribly ill for years as a child and spent a lot of time in hospital. He was always kind and loving, worked with the elderly and totally devoted to his kids. Now his daughter (aged 8), has tearfully admitted that her mother made her tell the police that her father had hit her mother. She also is upset that her uncle (DIL's brother),is on home detention, following a prison term for serious domestic assault (!),in the same home as the DIL and kids. She told her daddy that Uncle J had grabbed her arm and "called her the C word", then told her to stop "being a little bitch". The marks on her arm remained for some time. So DIL has a convicted criminal living in the same home, having thrown out her husband, who had never, and would never, hit or abuse his children. DS has contacted his lawyer about this, but he seems to think that kids' evidence is unreliable -though it was the 8-year old's word that had DS thrown out. OK, DS is weak and too much under his wife's thumb. After being on his own now for many months, he is much more optimistic about the future, but is desperate to claim joint custody, at the very least. DIL is living in the huge house, the cost of which is what has put them under enormous financial strain, and he is paying almost all of his wages on maintenance and house outgoings. I really need to get my money out of the house because I had to remortgage my own home to help them out. I'm paying out of my pension for her to live in the big house with her jailbird brother. The brother is drinking heavily, though it is a condition of his home detention that he not touch alcohol, and so is she - which is really bad for her mood and temper. I don't really know what I'm asking you to advise me on, dear GNers, but I have a heart condition, very high cholesterol and have just developed rheumatoid arthritis. Stress is not what I need right now. Thanks for listening.xx
Good Morning Friday 7th August 2026
