A Real Christmas

It is only all the things you accuse it of, if you let it be.
I shall celebrate Christmas as I have always done, lots of good food and drink for the family, presents which I hope will make them happy - and no, I have not gone OTT with them, a warm and comfortable house which looks at its best when we welcome them here, the village church at 11.30 for the Midnight service (so that I can take DH to his Mass on Christmas morning) and memories of past Christmases with our parents and family no longer with us.
Nothing has been spoilt for me, no clocks need turning back, it is what YOU make it. ⭐️ ?? ?

It is only all the things you accuse it of, if you let it be.

It is all well and good saying this Daphne, but the commercialism is all around us, and in the shops from about September for goodness sakes.

It doesn't bother me as I am not doing Christmas, but some people do feel under pressure to do things they would not normally consider doing, and to buy things they simply cannot afford.

I agree with both sides. On one hand it is inordinately commercial (I really do abhor seeing trees up in stores in September, and in houses soon after in the UK) but you can turn your back on it.
The stress for me derives from a personal situation. I simply do not have the time to prepare for Xmas this year, I don't have stockings done, am expected to produce a chocolate yule log on Xmas eve (which is a pain in the bottom to do) I work fifteen hour days and i still haven't done any wrapping, worse still, any food shopping. I will get around it, DH is going to be shunted off shopping tomorrow morning for food (I work all day right up to Christmas Eve) I will be calling the cleaning lady in despair (she isnt due to come until after the holidays, taking one herself, and rightly so) In the hope that she will be willing to drop in and give the living room and kitchen a once over on 22nd. It will all get done - but BOY the stress

Lisalou I feel your pain. I really do. I love it but oh the extra work it creates. I too wish it didn't start until December.

Agree whole heartedly Daphnebroon We shall have the usual family Christmas, happy to be with each other.

I agree with you too Daphne. Although I am busy, I am nothing like as busy as some of you so I am enjoying the buzz.

We can do nothing about the commercialism all around us but it doesn't mean we have to 'buy' into it.

....I didnt mean Christmas has been 'spoilt' for me..I meant in general...Ive made my own wreath.Christmas tree is a beautifully decorated branch from the woods.pine cones.candles and cloved oranges on the fireplace. BUT I WONT.any longer be swept along from September by commercialism...Ive filled gift bags for my seven grandchildren with things they will love for about £12 each...aduts a limit of £10....ditched the 'panic!'.....enjoying 'tradition&love'.....?

Lisa don't make the yule log, just buy one there are such nice ones in the shops. With your schedule, why add to it?! It's only other people's expectations and they will let go of that in 30 seconds in the grand scheme of things.

Our Christmas festivities are always the same, low key, but happy and above all relaxing.

I love Christmas but I wish that advertisers weren't allowed to direct their trade at children, many of whom are too young to understand the costs involved. Advertisers are skilled at promoting pester power and as most parents want to give to their children it can lead to problems.

Before anyone suggests that the parents just say no you need to remember that today's parents were themselves bombarded with advertising when children and still are as adults. They are easy targets for cynical advertising companies.

I worry about how many will find themselves in trouble when the bills arrive in January.

Why this urge though to make life difficult?
Don't your DGCS' parents do their stockings? Bake a Yule log /Christmas cake/mince pies if you want, but you can equally well buy them (if anybody has room for a Yule log anyway) Lisalou I do feel your pain, but why are you doing it all in the first place? Especially working 15 hour days?
Internet food shopping and planning in advance is the way forward -try it next year. But also for those who feel stressed, think about what you choose to do as opposed to what you have to do.
If you want to make your own wreath, fine, but the one in the loft will do as well (or treat yourself to its replacement)
A well chosen present instead of gift bags, but if the latter, then that is your choice.
I cannot go along with any suggestion that I am not capable of resisting ignoring all the so-called commercial pressure, we are adults for heaven's sake and so what if some shops are full of it from September?
We are mature women -some more mature than others- so do things the way YOU want.

Christmas should be enjoyed rather than endured. The best way to enjoy it is to encourage participation in the preparations by all family members. Give a ceiling price for presents. My sister-in-law and I did that when the children were young and nobody objected, since all were treated the same.

I agree with DaphneBroon, don't make things difficult, do the things you enjoy or are good at and get help with the rest. If family are eating with you get them to bring a course, buy the cake, mince pies etc if you are short of time or like me can't cook.
I once bought a whole Christmas dinner from M&S when I was working. Enjoy time with friends or family and don't feel you have to be superwoman .

Good for you Sue - I'm all for digging my feet in and doing it my way.

In fact we're having lamb for Christmas dinner as nobody likes turkey much and everyone loves lamb. So no bread sauce, stuffing, pig in blankets, cranberry sauce.

Just a British leg of lamb from the farm down the road, with homemade roasties, glazed vegetables, mint jelly and yummy gravy. DD's doing the starter and DS the pudding. No idea what they're planning and I don't care.

That's the stress free way to do Christmas Dinner for 8 adults and 4 children with 4 dogs running underfoot.

The thing is almost everywhere we look there are other women telling us how fantastic they are. Making their own wreaths, their own mincemeat, cleaning and scrubbing the house 3 times a day. and what fabulous dinner parties they give. We don't live in a bubble so it's hard not to be affected by it, especially If our self esteem is a bit low. Sometimes women are their own worst enemy

Love it Anya?✨??

Anya can I come to your house? I adore lamb but my lot are all traditionalists - turkey, turkey and more blinkin' turkey!

This is my first year that I'm not working so I had grand designs back in September of making all sorts of things. Hey ho, life just got in the way and most of the designs are still just in my head. I have faffed about and made some cards & gift tags which I'm pleased about but that's been the limit. We have lamb too as no-one likes turkey except cold with mayo on sandwiches

I want to go to Anya's too!

I no longer do Christmas lunch ... We go to my daughter's. I popped into M&S food yesterday to buy 4 bagels ...... And felt myself being mesmerised into browsing at the very attractive Christmas food!

I'm so proud that I only bought the bagels .... And the prettiest pack of mini mince tarts decorated with some sort of gold sparkly fairy dust.

Then I ran for the checkout!

It will soon be over, and no doubt Easter eggs will be in the shops in a couple of weeks!!!

I love Christmas but I do admit I make it hard for myself. I cook everything myself- make all my own cards & most of the decorations including flower arrangements & wreath but I do it because I love doing it. DH always says why don't I buy sausage rolls, mince pies & desserts etc but I want to do it myself. I love cooking & making things so it is my choice. I don't moan or make a fuss about it- I just get on & do it.
Today I'm making the stuffings & bread sauce to go into freezer- I made 2 desserts yesterday - mince pies were done weeks ago & I have had a good time listening to drama on radio 4 on my ipad while I do it all. No-one forces me & my son is pretty much the same with cooking & his wife makes some of her decorations too.
I think we should all just celebrate the way we want to & if that means the tree goes up in September then that is their choice. Mine goes u about 10 days before the DAY.
Just do what makes you happy.

I too agree, we are our own worst enemies trying to be "Superwoman". I've had my years of preparing full Christmas Dinner (my DM & Step-F used to come & stay for 2 weeks), Boxing Day Buffet for about 16, I worked full-time but took Christmas Eve off & DH finished at Lunch-time for last minute bits. Worked half days between Christmas & New Year.

Over the years Christmas changed, Step-D started to do Boxing Day when DGS was about 2 so one less stress, family left home, Parents stopped travelling down (250 mile journey). When we "downsized" we had Christmas Lunch in a local Pub - expensive but well worth it, same following year.

1st Christmas after I was widowed I went to Devon to DD's & that is now my Christmas Day - go about 9.30, open presents with family, Lunch cooked for me, home by 3.30, evening at neighbours.

Visit to DM in Nov/Dec (she's still in Yorkshire, I'm now in Devon). Tree & decorations up early Dec, cards written & posted early. Presents bought when I see something but main shopping late Nov/early Dec. Presents wrapped as I go along from early Dec. Stocking for DGS full of chocolate coins & silly bits.

I ignore resist all the hype, spend what I can afford on presents, we usually ask for ideas so we get some-thing we want & DGS isn't interested if it's not football related

Hope every-one has a stress free Christmas

I feel a bit of stress is the exciting bit, we used to get the shopping on Christmas eve having put a few bits by at the butchers and bought a tin of biscuits when the kids went back to school in September. Everything is such a big production now.

Yule was about the moment when the sun started to return, the shortest day and longest night, we feasted and shared what we had with others, now its a free for all (but not free expensive) that primal celebration of things about to improve and helping family etc is all gone.

The Christian message has also been hijacked.

Simple pleasures are the thing and anything else that turns up is a bonus and a blessing.

After Christmas loads of stuff will be in the bin and people will be at Slimmers World or counselling or a treadmill of debt and worry. Lighten up, it is a celebration of the sun returning, let there be light...........lighten your own loads, save the money you waste wrapping something up only for someone to unwrap it, half the time they know all along what they are getting because Christmas now is list fulfillment. Gone are the surprises and the knowing that you had put a bit by and had some to share.

Luckily for me I am a terrible cook and will just buy what is needed for our family to get together after Christmas, fruit and cake and fry up breakfasts..........pub lunches but they have to walk there and back.

I am working on the charity Christmas lunch on the day itself, hoping to find that elusive eccentric millionaire, the good looking one, who likes fat girls. Well, I am entitled to a wish and its traditional I have been looking for him for years and years.

I have reached the age of 70 without ever having made a Yule Log. TBH I have never bought or even tasted one. Your family will survive without one so unless you enjoy making it, just don't!

I've been looking after my pregnant daughter who's had Noro virus. This means I've neglected myself. No hairdressers appointment for me this year. All that matters is that my daughter had a scan yesterday and all is well with the baby. She was worried as she'd had five miscarriages. Christmas will slot into place as it always does.