Has social media made us all lazy about relationships?

Mine do it, but I do think that the younger generation are more laissez-faire in general about sending cards?

I have had to give mine a complete list of dates of grannie's birthday, their sister's wedding anniversary etcetc, the whole lot.
Then they still realised they neede to put it on their computers or some other technological device, so a reminder pops up about 1 week before their very eyes.
Kids eh?!

indeed obieone

I just cant stamp down this little knot of hurt ! Totally ridiculous of course !!

I hope Grampy isn't too sad.

I can only speak from a personal point of view but I think that social media has helped communication in my family's case. We WhatsApp each other lots about things that we probably wouldn't talk about in real life if we relied upon a phone call. I wouldn't get a phone call from DD2, for example, saying 'Max - phoar' part way through Eastenders, or DD1 exploding about her mother in law.

They are all very good about presents and cards too. DH has been rather spoilt today.

He hasn't said anything Kitty and if I asked I'm almost positive that he would brush it off. I suppose I just feel for him.

We do use social media a lot with our family but its almost like all communication is on a level and I think birthdays, anniversaries and Mothers and Fathers Day should be above the every day noise if you see what I mean.

I think if I'm honest we have allowed it to become this way. Both my daughters MiLs are VERY demanding in terms of gifts and cards and the youngest ones MiL had a 'chat' with her son ( one of three boys) to say she felt he wasn't spending enough money on her and she wanted better presents and she wanted him to take her out for dinner. ( she was widowed several years ago and plays the poor me card a lot ) .

I'm conscious they don't have lots of spare cash so I have always said things like ' oh don't worry about me - just come and see me' .

So I'm probably reaping what I sowed ;-(

It's the same here. My hubby has 3 grown up kids from his first marriage, not a card between them! But my daughter (his step daughter) has sent a card. It's always the same! Shocking! He says it doesn't bother him but I'm sure deep down he's hurt

well maybe I telepathically sent out vibes because both my girls have just facetimed Grampy and apologised for not bringing cards over and asked to visit tomorrow !

Better late than never :-)

I have had a bit of a dilemma today but wouldn't have posted if this thread hadn't come up.
My D rang yesterday and said she was really sorry but after a stressful week she hadn't sent a card. She is up other eyes in a difficult situation at work and as the GC's father isn't around she didn't have to remind them.
I wasn't at all bothered as I knew H would not know it was Father's Day. I did ring S , who never makes a fuss anyway , and said don't bother with a card so that was ok.
After lunch he had gone a walk around the block and ex DiL turned up with a card and a big box of chocs from the GC.
I have put them in a cupboard until I decide what to do. His memory is such that he won't know what they are for and they could have been there since his birthday in March.
The card is more of a problem but I think I will just ignore it.
Sorry for your hurt NandG I hope he isn't upset.

know how you all feel and yes I do think social media has a lot to answer for!!

I always feel for OH on fathers day, he is stepfather and stepgrandfather to my 3 children and their offspring and has been for the last 20+ years but not one of them acknowledge him on fathers day, although he's been the only grandfather all our grandchildren have known really. He never mentions it of course but it must hurt a tiny bit as he never had children of his own so will never receive cards on this day.

oh that is a dilemma * Ann* , puts my grumble to shame. I think you've made the right choice. He won't remember but I imagine in the moment could get upset about where his 'other' cards might be.

It was sweet of ex Dil but she wasn't to know. Maybe later , you should crack open the chocolates !! I think you deserve them .

That's so sad Tanith.My Mum remarried when I was 10 ( shocking divorce at the time) and from day one we called him Dad as directed by my Mum. I never really thought of him as such but I and my sister called him Dad all his life and treated him as such on special days and my children all recognised him as their granddad. Biology had nothing to do with it.

NanaandGrampy - I do so agree with you. But how do you fight it?
As in the thread about "like" and "dislike" buttons - I daren't post my views, I find the social media so distorted.
Ruthyo - we have a similar thing in our family - husband's own daughter never contacts him, but mine, his stepdaughter, always sends cards, rings regularly etc.
Having said that she was going to ring today and hasn't done. But she does have a busy life.

I sometimes wonder if I made a mistake bringing my daughter's up to be so independent. They obviously ran with it and are both now independent young women with lives of their own. Whilst I'm constantly worrying about remembering everyone and everything they just get on with their lives and they obviously don't think it's a problem if they don't see me or forget something I feel is important. I think they have probably got it right but I agree, sometimes I also feel a little sad.

We are always in a quandary about Father's Day. As it is a made up Hallmark holiday, DH says not to put more money in card producers' offers. However when there is no acknowledgement at all, he gets a bit huffy and sorry for himself. DS 2 resolved it by phoning him, DD gave him a card and chocolate from GS1. DS1 lives in Far East and although I had a missed call from him, DH has had no call. However DS1 may not realise significance, if any, of the date.
Very tricky! ?

Short answer to the OP is no.
We live in different countries to our sons, who live in different countries to each other. One son facetimed this morning for a chat with his Dad. We were quite unaware about the supposed significance of this day until he mentioned it. Good chats had by all. The other son emailed checking his dad would be around at such and such a time (time zones). Good chat also had. Both sons found time to mark what they felt was a significant occasion.
So as far as we're concerned, the technology provided something far better than a card.
Communication comes in many forms .

S bought his dad card. D brought the GC here for lunch but didn't bring a card. Not even hand made ones from the GC. I know she's in dire straits financially (she's living here and we're supporting her through college) but to just say "Happy Father's Day" and get the boys to draw cards would have been nice.

I agree Nina , no money needs to be spent a hand drawn picture made with love is a good substitute.

I take your point ffinnochio it works well for long distance relations . For me 3 miles and 7 miles ... Maybe less so.

I know what you mean GrannyBen . We did too good a job.

Social media has many benefits but just as one 'tool' in an arsenal of communications options. I love the small sound bites and pictures my daughters post on FB but I imagine it's a double edged sword if you're not part of your children/grand children's lives.

Grannyben you're not 're only one to make that "mistake"!!

DS remembers (well, he is a Dad himself!)
One DD remembers although it is a different day where she is, but the other one is completely oblivious to it all - it is also a different day where she is!!

It's swings and roundabouts. I sometimes get a text message or a facebook post when a visit or a phone call would be nicer, but facebook has enabled me to contact people I haven't seen for years and to keep in contact with others that I might have lost touch with.

I was relieved to come across this thread, thought it was just me being daft. I've been harbouring resentment on behalf of DH towards part of the family all day. A bland text late afternoon sort of made it worse somehow yet the photo messages early in the morning from others with the promise of a card later felt just right. So not the technology but how it was used. Oh well, onwards with a when I see them.

We don't expect visits as four out of the five are parents and we had our 'days' when they were children.

As it happened, we invited DD3 and her family for a meal as her partner is a fantastic 'father' to her children.

DD swanned off on a weekend retreat on Friday till Sunday, sending me a Facebook message after she'd left to make a card with DGD for Father's day as she'd forgotten!!!

Anyway, we baked muffins in the morning and made the card after nap-time in the afternoon. SIL and DGD came round yesterday with a card and chocolate for DH.

I'm not sure when Fathers Day is celebrated in the US and Denmark, but if it was yesterday too then DH's own DC didn't acknowledge it at all. Typical!

We always get moonlig/ funky pigeon cards from our eldest son.so semi technological I suppose. No wonder that man is a multi millionaire.

So pleased others felt the same way. We have 5 children not one of them popped down to see him. About 6pm 2 of out granddaughters arrived with cards and a present saying that Mam was too busy, we I've 5 min walk away, another daughter sent a message at 7pm saying she would be down to see him today, third daughter told me she would get him something next week, when I said he doesn't mind about a present it would have been for him to see her was told I will get him a present, one son sent a message at 11.30pm and didn't' hear anything from oldest son. He says he's not bothered but I get so annoyed with them. His children were his life and he always put them first and even now he is disabled he would and does drop everything if they need him. I also know that I would soon be told if I was late sending birthday cards because I have been in the past.