Gravestones

I agree watermeadow and my particular dislike - artificial flowers. Would rather the money went to a charity or in the case of a cremation, bushes or a seat for the garden. Each to their own before I get shot down in flames no pun intended.

Got this from Dobbies ?

I don't see the point of graves. Seems a waste of space. Why not cremate and scatter. The body is just a shell. The person isn't in the grave. They stay alive in your heart and memories so go with you everywhere. Funerals are just another way of parting people from money they usually can't afford.

I'm not saying don't have some sort of funeral as most of us need a ritual to start the moving on process but does it have to cost thousands of pounds?

DH and I have agreed that we will have the cheapest funeral possible. Cheapest casket, people can make their own way to the crematorium or not bother if they don't feel like it, no funeral buffet (food isn't the reason they've come to the funeral)and definitely no expensive extras. If anyone wants to spend money they can give it to charity.

I agree but it seems to be the thing these days. And the thing is after a few years no one seems to take care of them and they start to look awlful. When we went to get a headstone for our mothers plot we had a job to try and get one that we liked and that we thought would stay nice over the years. I remember many years ago that my father made a lovely wooden cross for my grandma's grave, they didn't have big mass produced ones then.

They mean something to those who buy them, I detest net curtains but it doesn't bother me if next door has them

It is a very personal thing as has been said. All those close to me have been cremated, so there are no headstones.
Personally I think the black with gold lettering can look attractive (probably not the right word) as long as it's not adorned with anything else. My merchant navy grandfather's ashes were scattered at sea the others ashes are buried in the gardens of the crem and are marked by a rose bush and plaque.

How dare anyone criticise how a grieving relative chooses to remember a dead loved one

What business is it of anyone else's? Jus because it offends their sense of 'taste'.

I personnally visit a grave every month. I only see other people there on rare occasions,,such as Christmas or Mothers' Day for example. They are very quiet, unfrequented places.

Some people just love giving others the benefit of their opinion and yes, being offensive.

Well said AB

And well said you Anya

Watermeadow everyone is different - I'm a dog (and cat) lover but I think it 'tacky' to go looking for a headstone for a dog!

It sounds snooty to imply that you have better taste with your 'plain simple little stone' preferably slate, for your dog, than those who go for the mass-produced 'trash' for their husband, wife, or child.

I don't think watermeadow. was being offensive, she was just stating her opinion. It might be different from what others think. But surely that is what Gransnet is for, somewhere where you can just express your opinion just as you can face to face without offending anyone.

Perhaps 'offensive' is the wrong word milly - I'm not offended, but I'm left thinking WTF's it got to do with the OP?

Does she spend her time wandering through cemeteries and graveyards perhaps?

have to agree with Anya and annieb on this matter.
The only taste that matters is the person who is buying the headstone.

There is the worry that some have chosen what the O/P dismisses as trash and are offended or hurt

And I apologise to those who have net at their windows , I hate it because it would block my view of the mountains

My DH was cremated and the ashes buried in a cemetery - yes with a headstone and when my time comes my ashes will be buried with his. For me it is a place I can visit him and it gives me some comfort. Yes, I have memories and I still talk to him every day around the house but having a quiet place where I can go and still do things for him, even if it is only cleaning the gravestone and leaving flowers helps me deal with his loss - and it's been 5 years now. How people deal with grief, including what type of headstone (if any) they choose is surely down to them.

Thanks millymouge, seems like opinions are only valid if they are the same as those of other GN's

I was criticised for wording on my husbands gravestone , I don't regret them forty years on , I was right as were the words

Valid?

I think taste is a very personal thing. Not sure there is good or bad...just taste. Do with what feels right for you. We buried our pet in a corner of the garden where he loved to sit and enjoy the sun. We sprinkled a packet of forget-me-not seeds over his grave and they come up every year and are a lovely reminder of him.

Yes Anya, my husband was young, I loved him very much, we had two little girls and I wanted something from the three of us - difficult , went to the theatre to see Hamlet and when he spoke of his father the one line - I shall not upon his like again. Hamlet was speaking of his father and our little ones adored their father , it was how I felt so thst is what I chose. I was told - and when you marry again ? / you should have chosen something biblical etc . I have had several relationships in the forty years, good ones , but they were not him. I have thought of having - told you I was right when I am interred with him

Ab I don't see anything wrong with the inscription which you choose...why on earth should you choose something biblical just to suit other people. "told you I was right" love it!

Yes valid

My father died before I was born, killed on active service in WW2. I haven`t been to the grave in years, I don`t live in that area. My mother and grandma, his mother, couldn`t afford a fancy gravestone, and this is what they had, small, plain and simple. Some nasty person said it looked like someone had taken a hammer to it and hammered it into the ground.

There will always be nasty people , all that matters is the stone tells of love