Gransnet forums

Chat

Would you have said Yes?

(45 Posts)
Teetime Thu 14-Jan-16 09:17:18

I am a Trustee of a charity which has a Board meeting every two months. At Monday evening's meeting the secretary who takes formal minutes was taken ill at the last minute and could not attend. The Chairman very nicely asked me if I would take the minutes. I agreed. Since then a male colleague on the Board and DH have said I should have refused. They feel and are probably right that I was asked as I am female (and the only one present). I'm an obliging soul and indicated that I thought if it happened again we should take it in turns. Would you have refused?

chelseababy Thu 14-Jan-16 09:24:49

I would probably have agreed without thinking.

annsixty Thu 14-Jan-16 09:26:16

I would take it that the Chairman knew you were a very kind and obliging person and he didn't want dissent or hassle from the male members.

NanaandGrampy Thu 14-Jan-16 09:26:50

No I probably would have done the same as you.

Its a pain taking the minutes but a necessity.

HOWEVER, if at the next meeting you were asked again , i would smile and simply suggest its someone else's turn . Don't do that very British thing and start by saying' I'm sorry but....' Just say 'If you remember I stepped in last time so maybe someone else would like to take their turn.'

Then watch them all try and think of excuses :-))

kittylester Thu 14-Jan-16 09:28:03

I'd have said 'no' and have done on quite a few occasions. Not for any other reason than the fact that I can either join in the conversation or write it down and I'd far rather join in! blush

I would have said yes though, Teetime, if I was capable as it's for the greater good.

jinglbellsfrocks Thu 14-Jan-16 09:29:57

Are they sure they didn't just ask you because you were the one who seemed most able to do it? Whether it was because you are female might have been completely by the by. Take it as a compliment.

jinglbellsfrocks Thu 14-Jan-16 09:31:39

Mind you, there are some things women are better at. Nothing wrong with that.

Indinana Thu 14-Jan-16 09:50:54

I'd have probably said yes too for no other reason than necessity. But as has been suggested, if it happens again then you should be quite firm and ask that someone else takes their turn.

janepearce6 Thu 14-Jan-16 11:16:59

Said 'yes' about what? I don't understand!!!

Cosafina Thu 14-Jan-16 11:18:34

I'd have said no, because I'm rubbish at taking minutes - I'm usually too busy joining in to think about writing anything down

petra Thu 14-Jan-16 11:22:59

janepearce6. There's a clue in the post.

Anniebach Thu 14-Jan-16 11:28:47

Is the taken ill secretary female or male ?

Maggiemaybe Thu 14-Jan-16 11:28:48

Yes, I'd have said yes too, because it has to be done. But as I'm sure you suspect, they probably asked you because you are the one that looks to them most like a secretary grin

I'd certainly not do it if this arises again. I completely agree with NanaandGrampy's advice. You can't participate fully in a meeting if you're doing the scribing.

Nonnie Thu 14-Jan-16 11:29:52

I am one of the people who say 'yes, what is the question?' without even thinking about it. I know many others who when asked to help respond effectively say 'the answer's no, now what is the question?'

Some people want to help all the time and some will find any excuse not to. You are the former.

moomin Thu 14-Jan-16 11:31:56

I would have said yes - the idea that it was a sexist request wouldn't have occurred to me I'm afraid! If I didn't wish to do it again, I would let the Board know

nonnanna Thu 14-Jan-16 11:35:33

I too would have said 'yes' without a thought because minutes needed taking, I had been asked and I'm capable of doing that. The male/female aspect of it wouldn't even have occurred to me if I hadn't read it here. Reading others posts I agree it would be a good idea if it happens again to offer someone else a turn and thus forestall any further problems....I bet no one will offer wink

WilmaKnickersfit Thu 14-Jan-16 11:43:08

I would have said yes too and agree that if it happens again you should say no.

The only thing I would add is perhaps you should raise the subject of cover for the Secretary, saying it does prevent the stand in from taking part properly in the meeting. Then there would be no question of asking you again. If it happened once, it could happen again no matter how reliable the current Secretary may be.

leeds22 Thu 14-Jan-16 11:54:23

I would have said yes too and then kicked myself.

I am on a few voluntary commitees and it always the women who take the minutes. Men were/are used to women taking minutes in a working situation and then it continues in a voluntary capacity.

Just be ready to say no if the situation occurs again.

RAF Thu 14-Jan-16 11:56:21

This has happened to me so many times on committees, and yes, it is assumed that it is a woman's job to take the minutes (and organise the coffee, book the rooms, any basic practicalities) My response would probably have been 'why are you asking me?', whereupon I would have got all the flannel about 'you're so good at it, you are more reliable' etc, which of course probably true!

One committee I was on consisted of seven male members and two women. We were all chairs of local organisations of equal merit, yet it was assumed the women would act as secretaries for the committee. When I held my ground, either no minutes were taken, or they never appeared. I made it very plain to those higher up in the organisation that secretarial support should be provided, and the response was 'well why don't you do it?'

I hope the younger generations are more likely to share roles, I gather future official forms will no longer even ask for your gender!

annodomini Thu 14-Jan-16 11:58:59

Yes I'd probably have done it. I've taken countless minutes in my time and know I can do it pretty well.

inishowen Thu 14-Jan-16 12:15:20

I used to take the minutes when I worked for a conservation charity. Then I realised the Chairman was taking them at the same time. He would give me his minutes for typing. It was as if he didn't trust me to take them. I started writing less and less at the meetings because I knew my notes weren't going to be looked at!

Gaggi3 Thu 14-Jan-16 12:20:36

Like so many other GNers, I would probably have said yes automatically. I didn't realise the implications until I reached the end of the post.
We instituted the idea of everyone having a turn at minuting a staff meeting, when I was still working. The quality of results did vary, but I still think it a worthwhile, as it made everyone a bit more sympathetic to the difficulties of the task (I hope).

LullyDully Thu 14-Jan-16 12:29:22

I would have said yes. When I was working we used to swap minute taking so everyone got a turn and gained the experience !!!You may suggest this innocently but firmly.

granjura Thu 14-Jan-16 12:59:56

Been there so many times- and yes, I agreed, but was always annoyed deep down that it was expected of me as the woman present.

But now I'd say 'I'll do it today, but can we take it in turn alphabetically from then on in such cases'. Did that just the other day actually.

grandMattie Thu 14-Jan-16 14:01:30

probably would have. I like to be helpful and of use.

On reflection, DH wouldn't have supported my "No" and probably said I could carry on doing them ad nauseum...

Thank you for putting good ideas into my head - no longer an automatic "Yes" because I'm nice and female etc., etc.