Too much entertaining?

I do think the response you will get from a lot of parents is that their little ones are not safe to play outdoors or explore the woods and sea shore as we used to do when we where little,so much nasty stuff going on in the world now as to when we where small,when my DDs children where small she played with them for hours her reason being they grow far too quickly and they would be at school before she knew it and that precious time could never be gotten back again.

Oh, I think it was ever thus for some people! Well, at least when we were young parents it was (as you say, we were left to our own devices as children). We had friends who made sure their children never had a spare moment, whirled from organised activity to organised activity, sometimes two classes after school. One actually said she was worried that her three would get into mischief if they weren't fully occupied. I've always been a great fan of letting children relax and do their own thing, and to have to amuse themselves sometimes - that's how creativity starts. My own DC seem to have the same attitude, so I don't think it's a generational thing. I must admit that sometimes when we're looking after DGS2, I feel a bit guilty that we're "doing nothing" with him, and I have to stop myself from jollying him into a bit of baking etc, when he's perfectly happy crashing his cars together and babbling to his Lego characters.

My reply was to NotTooOld, glammanana, I'm not disparaging your DD!

I think its really important that children have time to play and explore (safely) on their own. It allows their imagination and ability to make up stories to grow and its helps them towards independence. I do think the is a lot of competitive parenting about though. GS (aged 11) now prefers the outdoors to any kind of trip - he has climbed Kinder Scout and Scafell Pike lately with his parents- the cost was a bit of petrol and a picnic. He is taking me to Chester Zoo next week though because I whined on that all my friends had been there and I hadn't. .

I agree, and I think NotTooOld has nailed the reason why. It's something to do with guilt, I think. Parents seem to be under more pressure than ever to be seen as "perfect" despite, or perhaps because of, a lack of time. I think there have always been competitive "pushy" parents but the idea of "performance parenting" seems to be at fever pitch, and seems to be associated with the idea that, if a parent (usually mother) is short on time to spend with her then it follows that the available time has to be of "good quality" and not wasted on "meaningless" stuff like relaxing, playing with friends, or-heaven forfend-watching the telly.

I think the current media is brilliant at exploiting parental insecurity, and most parents fall for advertising pressure at some point. The problem, though, is that once these full-lifestyles become the norm -and by and large, very busy children are now the norm-any departure from that norm makes the comparatively laissez-faire parent appear lazy and perhaps even neglectful.

My 4 year old grandson lives with me and I look after him frequently whilst my daughter works. I confess, I always have a schedule of activities lined up; trips, outings, cooking, painting etc etc. he still has some time to play his own, creative games and watch a bit of tele but I do think he needs a lot of entertaining and I certainly need the structure too. Children generally have the constant access and stimulation from telly (now 24 hours a day) and most of them will have access to consoles or tablets. So many youngsters would quite happily spend their whole day doing nothing but watching tele or playing on the tablet. It's quite hard to compete with this non stop stimulation. I don't necessarily think it's a guilt thing. It's that parents generally have more disposable income nowadays and there is a much wider range of activities to participate in. The world is faster paced and is almost unrecognisable from my own childhood experiences.
Parents are more focussed on their children and much, much more involved in their children's lives than our parents ever were.
It's not better, not worse, just different.

I agree Wondergran.
Great for the children, but it must be exhausting for the parents( or grandparents) who do this.Expensive as well.

I saw this (see pic) on facebook the other day and it really struck a chord with me.

Maggiemaybe I probably didn't explain myself correctly in reply to op's post.whilst DD played with the boys a lot when they where small she did not structure their days just played as and when she was a very laid back mummy to them and never got herself stressed about anything it is a trait I have always admired about her (even though she has her moments) so no worries from me about your comments my friend.x

I was driving GS1 to his gym lesson after school when he was about 7 when he said "Nobody ever asks me if I want to do all these things" (He also went to Stagecoach on a Saturday) I said that we just kept taking him because he seemed to enjoy it and he admitted that he did. I think he just wanted to have a bit of a say in what happened.

GS2 is a delight, he loves watching television or playing games on a tablet but he will happily settle down in a corner with some toys and play for ages by himself. Quite different from his brother who needed other people joining in all the time.

Thank you, glammanana. Our earlier posts crossed unfortunately, so it looked as though I was commenting on your DD's parenting style. I wasn't. She sounds delightful, and a lovely mum!

Modern parents don't seem to realise that children just want some time at home with mummy and daddy. One weekend recently my grandchildren went to the cinema and out for supper on Saturday and the see The Lion King at the theatre on the Sunday. Given that they have homework, clubs and music practice everyday after school, this meant they had no time just to relax and be children. My DiL says they are going to try to have more downtime. I hope so!

I do think it's important for children to have 'downtime' where they can relax and do their own thing. When it comes to baking and cooking, tho - is that a treat? I've always seen it as a necessary but very pleasurable activity which all the family can enjoy. Even my youngest GD at 18 months, likes a scrap of pastry to roll, and eldest GD at six, is quite an accomplished mini-cook.
My mob enjoy a bit of gardening, and will help with housework, too.
This makes me look like a dull and boring old Nanna, but the little ones seem very happy, and rarely ask for the TV.

Also to be remembered - children are all so different. Our grand daughter who is 4 loves to play on her own with toys talking away to herself and them for ages. Our grandson 6 is a different 'kettle of fish'. From an early age I remember wanting to get out with him - trips to feed the ducks, trips on the bus to the library etc and at home it's " play with me'. So when they come to stay I always try and have plenty of our door activities lined up like going to the woods or the beach. Otherwise he's like a caged animal. ( and in case you wonder why I don't kick them out in the garden you'd understand if you saw my garden - 3 levels and not unfortunately child friendly)

children all different, DD and DS happy to play with friends and entertain selves play outside /inside .
However at 4 E my DGD came to live with us and my new partner after losing her mum (DD) she had always been demanding,and became even more so and unable to amuse herself (understandably),she became a very demanding child and at nearly 17 teenager.
I look after 3 year old A each Saturday while mum is at work and she is a delight I always have an activity "just in case" but I leave pencils paper and activities out for her to explore,she can go in and out as she pleases we have a hard play area and I let her have child lead play...I just enjoy watching her ...

I look after 3yr old granddaughter and she likes you to play things with her
But will play with her cooker and play food making very imaginative meals for ages on her own but does like you to be around our other grandchildren
From other parents play on their own think every child different and that's why we love them .

GD proudly showed me her activity timetable today, this afternoon was to be cooking with Mummy but she went out so Grandma had to step in. I could not find the time slot allocated for winding up her sibling but she seemed to fit that in nicely after working in the kitchen