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Are the youth of today becoming more isolated?

(15 Posts)
soontobe Sat 14-Mar-15 15:18:45

Are the youth of today becoming more isolated?
Are they spending too much time in their rooms?
Are they reluctant to join clubs of most kinds, with the exception of some sports?

If so, is that necessarily a problem in general? Or just different from even say a decade ago.

loopylou Sat 14-Mar-15 15:24:56

It appears that way to me, local clubs relying on volunteers are constantly on the verge of closure.
One thing I have noticed with growing concern, is the apparent reliance on technology to entertain children rather than them being encouraged to use their imagination. Not all children but certainly a large proportion.

Leticia Sat 14-Mar-15 16:09:06

I am sure they are. They have hundreds of friends online but no one to actually go out with.
Unfortunately a lot of clubs fold from lack of volunteers - not their fault- people don't have time.

granjura Sat 14-Mar-15 16:30:59

Yes, they are- especially as they get older. As you well know, both DD1 and sil work very full-time, but they make really sure that kids both get lots of outside contact and activities. GCs are 9 and 5- but as they get older- if kids don't want to partake in clubs, scouts/guides, etc, and sports- you can't really force them can you? I hope they will continue to love going out and partake as they get older.

Because parents work full-time- they make really sure they give the children all their time at week-ends. They both trained as leaders for youth rugby- and coach every Sunday- and organise fixtures and social events. Sometimes I think it is so unfair, as lots of the other parents don't want to help out- despite many not working! Due to severe allergy for GS- they also take time off work or week-ends to go to camps with him- so he does not miss out. I truly take my hat off to them both.

durhamjen Sat 14-Mar-15 16:44:36

There are advantages to technology.
My grandchildren can play online with friends who live in different villages, and the two in the same family can play with their cousin who lives hundreds of miles away.
Keep the bedroom doors open, and you can hear them laughing away and talking over the headsets.
Saturdays are no good for arranging anything, as they are all out at various clubs, with practice or rehearsals during the week.

merlotgran Sat 14-Mar-15 16:59:56

I think they go through phases of shutting themselves in their rooms with their electronic gadgetry and getting out and about with their friends.

I have seven DGCs with ages ranging from 18 to 10 in three different families. The eldest boy is at uni and I have no doubt (having seen the photographic evidence!!) that he spends most of his free time OUT. The next two boys (16 and 14) seem to split their time between the X box, playing football and chatting up girls. The youngest DGS who is 11 has more 'organised' hobbies so is probably glad of a bit of 'me' time in his bedroom. My grandaughters have gone through the 'I'm in my room' phase and now spend most of their free time out and about with friends.

I envy them being able to keep in touch with their friends at all times because I can remember some pretty boring weekends when there was nothing much to do and nobody living near enough to call on.

Mishap Sat 14-Mar-15 17:09:59

I have been delighted by the wide circle of friends that all my DDs have always had, and that they have retained these close friendships after pairing off and becoming mothers.

Coolgran65 Sat 14-Mar-15 17:25:01

I have 4 grandchildren, the two youngest are 3 months and 18 months. The other two are 4 and 7.
The 7 year old goes to dancing, Girls Brigade, Sunday School.
Mum job shares. Mid week she coaches junior hockey and both dgc go with her to that. On a Saturday when mum is playing hockey, dad takes them out, cycling, to a nature duck park, to soft play area, to movies etc. etc. On a Sunday they go to their other dgp for a few hours, they have a farm and their 4 other cousins are usually visiting. That time is spent making bike trails, clearing out the horses, feeding hens, ducks, geese, pigs. Kicking football. Then they come to us for dinner.

Any chance at all they are outside on their bikes, and are still at the stage when they want to help in the garden.

However on a wet cold day they arrive with their ipads and are more than happy to watch individual stuff and play child appropriate games..... I only let them do this for so long, I prefer them to watch a movie that we can share... Pollyanna is a favourite, Mrs Doubtfire is also a good one.

Also we've started baking in a 'proper' way, i.e. not just rolling out dough. We use up ripe bananas to make banana bread (bananas freeze well if only for baking with). DGD can now weigh out the flour and other ingredients and we talk about why we need each ingredient. Has to be something that can be prepared simply and quickly before interest is lost. DGS at 4 alas is still a messer.

No doubt as they get older the technology will become more attractive.

25 years ago my son lived in his cave albeit he was also studying very hard but also playing guitar, watching tv, playing music.... there was no computer technology but he still stuck to his room. ( Nowadays he and his wife and dgs of 18 months only have an old tiny tv which is rarely on)

I think children/teens always went through a spell of being a bit isolated when at home.... not quite rebellion.... but definitely wanting their own space, regardless of technology.

I agree that nowadays technology means kids can be in their rooms and yet feel that they are not missing out social interaction. Being on FB, texting et al.

But it also depends on how each individual defines 'social interaction'.
I think technologoical interation is an extension of what I consider social interaction and am afraid that the scales are tipping to the wrong side (IMHO).

Sorry for the ramble......

loopylou Sat 14-Mar-15 17:31:31

It's often beholden on the parents/grandparents to instigate activities, so for many children who don't get that vital impetus to leave their rooms then technology fills the gap I guess.
Life certainly seemed simpler when mine were younger smile

soontobe Sat 14-Mar-15 17:31:41

Seems like clubs for ages say, 12-16 are a bit passe now, unless sport related?

Sounds like things are not quite as bad as I thought. And the opposite sex, and uni help to get them out of their rooms once more.

Leticia Sat 14-Mar-15 17:37:09

Difficult when at that age 2 yrs makes a lot of difference.

absent Sun 15-Mar-15 04:56:48

Maybe the fact that both parents are likely to be working these days has something to do with it. Tired at the end of the working day, they don't actually want a bunch of other people's children around them so small friends don't come round to play and have tea after school and there is then no pattern for older friends to visit either. I worked long hours but was self-employed and worked from home. My house was always so full of children and then teenagers, we all referred to it as the Youth Club. I wish I could have a £ for every plate of burgers and chips I dished up on our spontaneous "bopping nights", never mind a bit more for the sleepovers that nearly stretched the walls.

Leticia Sun 15-Mar-15 07:38:49

And you don't just 'call' for friends these days as you did when I was a child- you are invited on 'playdates' , organised in advance because most evenings are taken up with organised activities like dance class or swimming lessons.

seasider Sun 15-Mar-15 08:07:04

My 13 year old was quite keen to join air cadets but seemed to be put off by his peers' reaction. He would like to play football but is not very good and it is very competitive.DGS was "dropped" from his team because he was not scoring goals. He goes to training twice a week and turns up for every game for about 5 minutes as a sub. It is quite demoralising for him.

janerowena Sun 15-Mar-15 12:49:01

Oh do get him to join air cadets! DS really loved it, and is now 19 and on Salisbury Plain all this weekend, something to do with artillery...

At 14 he was driving an underwater tank through a lake, at 16 he was flying a glider - the things he got to do were amazing.