The Going Rate

I would probably gift £30/40 if it were a family member or friend.. but everyone should only give what they can afford some will be more and some less..

It depends how close you are to the person inviting? How much do lions charge for a viewing? They could go to Knowsley Safari Park for £40 all in for a full car.

How many are going to the party? How long have you known them?

I score taxi drivers on a point system for tipping. If they talk to me then that is 1 point, if they don't use their phone 1 point, polite 1 point, not sleazy 1 point, so maybe you could use the same sort of system. Then decide how much to give.

Or get a coin that was made 50 years ago (ebay do them) and give this as a present and then add some extra cash too for the safari. I did this for a friend's 50th birthday as she wanted money to go over the grand canyon but I wanted to give her something to remember her day by.

I would probably give £50 as it is 50 years.
No more than that would be expected in this area.

But they did say no presesnts, so I think it would be acceptable to give £20/£30. Depends whether it is friends, close friends, auntie/uncle or parents, and what people can comfortably afford, and wish to give!

No presents, but suggests cash towards their safari?

I must be missing something here - in all my days have never been asked to contribute to such a trip!

I've heard of cheeky younger people asking for money to finance their various dream trips/honeymoons but am surprised that an older couple would do this.

It hasn't been part of our culture to give/request cash gifts but that has been changing. I don't think it's "cheeky " for younger people to ask for money when they marry and I don't see it being to finance dream trips/honeymoons really. Most young couples have been living together for a while before marrying so they have the toasters/glasses/cutlery etc that most of us would have needed as young married people.

I did a double take too. But I presume the trip is a golden wedding trip, in which case I thought it was rather nice.
From a giving point of view, £20 on a vase, or £20 towards a trip is still giving £20. I think that it is rather sweet.

I used to not particularly like the asking for money towards a honeymoon. Probably still dont. But nowadays, most people have already got the household stuff.
My daughter got married recently. They didnt ask for money or gift vouchers, and didnt have household stuff beforehand. But about half of the guests chose to give money. All fine.

Send a donation to a water aid charity in the sort of country they are going to and send them a card showing what you have done.

As the tourists will no doubt have access to a lot better water supplies than the local people, this will be an attempt to put something back into that or a very similar community.

There are a lot of such charities working on this and the Oxfam gift cards do Water aid donation cards. Which means that the money goes to that specific purpose in one way or another

www.wateraid.org/uk/where-we-work

https://www.google.co.uk/?gws_rd=ssl#q=oxfam+wateraid

Great idea Nelliemoser, though it wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea. Several years ago, during discussions about what family members wanted to Christmas, her mother in law said "and I don't want a goat, just the sort of thing you'd give someone for Christmas".

We always send a cheque to a charity when "no presents " is requested and it has always gone down well. I would hope that a couple of that age would not arrange an expensive holiday without the funds to do so.

Of course a couple married for 50 years have no need of gifts. I wish something like this had been acceptable when we married, almost 50 years ago. People bought what they thought we would like, so we mended up with several ugly coffee sets, numerous mismatching casserole dishes, etc. we were not ungrateful because in those days you took what was going with a smile and a thank you letter.

How much more sensible to contribute to a honeymoon, as happens these days, or to a safari trip.

crun anywhere from £25-£50 depending on your circumstances.

I recently bought gift vouchers for a friends DD's wedding as requested. They had been together 8yrs and have two children. I gave £40, the only thing is with cash or vouchers people know exactly what you've spent I'm guilty of spending a little more than I might so as not to appear mean.

Personally, I would politely decline the invitation.

I would be more than willing to somehow find out what they would appreciate as a thoughtful gift but I would not be willing to pay for their holiday. Something which, to me, sours the invitation.

I'm struggling with gifts this year (financialy) so will watch this thread with interest

It was my mums 80th last week (I made a birthday afternoon tea for all, and bought her and "myself" a" thermal Spa experience voucher" well she cant go on her own can she!

Mothers day in March

would have been dh 80th a few days later so we are going to celebrate that somehow.(not sure how as still raw)

It is my mum and dad's "Diamond" wedding anniversary in April.

My 60th in October

My daughters 40th in November

looks like I am going to have to stand on the street corners again! and shake my tin, tut

Bikergran: do some of the people you have to buy gifts for have gardens?
Garden Plants can be very economical gifts, as they can be bought for a variety of prices, which do not reflect the lasting value.
Rose bushes or fruit trees perhaps. Just a thought. x

Good ideaJ52 a lovely "diamond* white rose for mum n dad would be lovely if appropriate. I like the popular idea of 40 small in a box for your DD. Especially if you start buying them now.

small gifts ...that should read

I was so annoyed by my sisters response to her birthday present, as some will know, I am buying RNLI giving cards this year for several people. The people do not need more junk but the RNLI need money.
I have a £20 limit for DGC birthdays and a £25 limit for Xmas.

I loathe idea of money for a honeymoon, or an anniversary trip. Okay perhaps to ask close (& I mean close) family for donations, but to put it on the invitations I think is crass. My own D did this..... I cringed! You might as well send everyone a bill for the reception and have done with it. Young(ish) friends of ours who had been living together for years asked for donations at their recent wedding to WaterAid - to which I willingly gave. Hard cash-wise I probably gave more than I would have spent on a wedding present. So I wholeheartedly endorse Nelliemoser's remarks.

I don't think it should be in invitations- but fair enough if you ask what they would like. I would give £20 unless very close family or friend.

I do not mind contributing to a 'thing', somebody wants - a gazebo for the garden or an extravagant item for the house, or mundane things for the house for a wedding, but extravagant holidays/honeymoons, as far as I am concerned should be self funded.

Our 50th is looming in a few years and we will ask people to donate to charity if they want to give us something, with possible exception of children and best man and best woman (I didn't want bridesmaids)

I'm reminded of a colleague who married after being with her OH for nearly 20 years ...... three children, house, good jobs, etc.

They sent invitations to all and sundry with a 'suggestion' to contribute to their dream trip to Bali.

Just because they didn't marry at 21 and so not get pots & pans, toasters, etc doesn't entitle them have a grab at getting their holiday paid for!

My gift would depend on how close a relative it was, sister and BIL for example probably several hundred pounds. A distant relative or friend about £100.

I'd give it to a charity for giraffes or lions etc. NOT to the couple!