NAGGING

Nag or remind?

I definitely do not nag - unless it becomes absolutely necessary.

I neither 'remind' nor do I nag. Sometimes my husband asks me to.

All down to men's selective hearing - they'll hear first time if it's something you wish they hadn't!
DH would definitely say I nag, but doesn't seem to realise if he did whatever I wanted first time of asking then I wouldn't nag, it's not rocket science!

I think I do both

I dont nag.
It wouldnt work even if I did.
I instead am instructed to write a list of jobs I would like him to do. And then I patiently wait.
He does get round to them eventually.
And before anyone mentions me doing them. Ha! Have you seen my diy skills!

I give sound advice - usually before it's requested

In front of any woman who nags...

is a man who just doesn't do as he is told (again and again)!

I of course never nag ;)

Apparently the second time of asking is nagging according to DH.

And my DH too NfkDumpling.

It's not nagging, it's suggesting - vehemently

My ex accused me of nagging him all the time. Totally untrue. I only nag people I care about

vq

Women nag, men constantly remind.

Suggestions and letting him think it's his idea gets any jobs done here no need to nag, a gentle process which has been learnt over a number of years and works well.

Mine's Teflon coated against suggestions , nothing would get done! When he finally decided to do the bathroom (I'd given up 'nagging', asking nicely etc etc) it took 24 weeks! At least me nagging persistently requesting sometimes gets quicker results!

In relationships (of any type) people can take on roles. If a person takes on the role of 'nagged person' it can force the other to be the 'nagger'.
I have learned a couple of good strategies for avoiding being a nagger.

I always ask what we can do about something, e.g re decorate and ask for an agreed start date so I can put it on the calendar. I then just put the required items; paint etc in the hall and then on the 'agreed date' look as though I am going to do it...

The other is to ask, Do you agree we need to......' The answer is usually yes so then I ask when/how etc and get a sort of 'action plan' in place so I can say 'oh we agreed we were going to....' as the time goes on!

Don't always follow these rules as emotions can get in the way, e.g Why can't DH understand my fridge organisation!!!!

Yes, but.....all the agreements and subtle approaches in the world will not work if the other person is even more skilled at 'forgetting' or can trip over a tin of paint several times a day and merely curse it for being in the way without considering why.

it is not officially nagging if you 'both' forget! ie Oh we were going to do that today etc. so they can't feel hurt and defensive.

I 'suggest' a couple of times.

Then I start to send him links to local workmen.

Then I find out their hourly rates and ask if we can afford it this month.

That usually does the trick. It took about five years of me trying to do absolutely everything, as I am quite handy, before I worked that one out. I simply no longer have the energy or strength, he does but he is rather lazy. He'd rather tweet that he is going to do it, than actually do it.

I have been told by 3Xs that i never nagged, maybye I should have ????????

saying - suggesting - when you have a minute - why don't you - reminding. All sounds like nagging to me.

pompa but if you agreed to do something and simply forgot ......

If you think that's nagging, pompa then you have lived a very sheltered life