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Grrrr.....!!

(23 Posts)
Katek Tue 06-Jan-15 11:49:27

There I was having quite a nice day, feeling better after yesterday's nausea and generally quite perky. I then receive a slightly abrupt text from dd2 criticising me for an error I made on an internet order/delivery address. My nice mood has just evaporated, feel bit tearful really which is an overreaction. Must be because I'm not 100%.

Mishap Tue 06-Jan-15 11:51:20

Rise above it - it is your bug getting in the way. Continue with getting better and don't let it get you down.

We all make small mistakes sometimes - keep it small in your mind. Perhaps DD2 has PMT?!

rosequartz Tue 06-Jan-15 11:58:25

She was probably keeping the text short and it came over as abrupt.
Hope you feel better soon.

HildaW Tue 06-Jan-15 11:58:34

Aww Katek....they are lovely our children but thoughtless. Know how you feel was having a lovely chat with my dd1 t'other day about this and that when we got on to the fact of families living close together. We are (through circumstances rather than choice) 50 odd miles away and its not something I am always happy about....would love a bit more contact but what with SIL's shift work and school hours its monthly rather than weekly.
Any way she suddenly said 'You'd drive me mad if you lived a few doors away'. Luckily I was in a relaxed mood....glass of wine etc and it sort of slipped past but in the cold light of day and if I was having a down day I' would have been pretty upset.
We do get on well but she's a forthright young lady and speaks a bit before she engages brain. I am not sure she really meant anything by it...just an off the cuff remark.
Am sure that if your daughter knew how much you had taken it to heart she would be mortified...the problem with text is that there is little subtlety.....even something kindly meant reads brusquely.
I understand that when we are down we are always over sensitive...I know I'm a great over thinker...try to put it out of your head...I suspect she's forgotten it already.

soontobe Tue 06-Jan-15 12:02:08

I would tell her how it made you feel KateK.
If you get on well with her, she will not want to have upset you.

ginny Tue 06-Jan-15 12:11:49

Was it something you had ordered for her KateK ? If so, tell her to do it herself next time. We all make mistakes. Hope you feel better soon.

Elegran Tue 06-Jan-15 12:29:58

Text straight back that it was probably because you were feeling so awful at the time, and that you are still pretty rotten. So sorry about this short text but you are not feeling like chatting at the moment, however if she were to phone YOU in the next couple of days you would love to speak to her "face to face"

Katek Tue 06-Jan-15 12:34:50

Dd2 is extremely forthright to say the least. We do get on quite well but that's probably because I bite my tongue a lot of the time in order not to create conflict. I didn't jump and go down (140 mile round trip) to look after dgs yesterday and today as I wasn't feeling too well. She mistakenly thought that he went back to school yesterday (he goes back on Wed) and she'd arranged to go back to work yesterday.( Oh dear....was that a mistake on her part? Sorry, bitchy remark) She's had to rearrange her week to work from home. I suspect that that is what's behind the snippy text-sorry, Nanna can't do everything.

My very good friend has just text and asked if I want to go out for lunch so I think I'll wrap up warmly and go and treat myself to a lovely bowl of thick soup.

Thanks for making me feel better. smile smile

Katek Tue 06-Jan-15 12:36:15

Elegran-x'd posts. I like your idea!!

Agus Tue 06-Jan-15 12:41:40

I have on a few ocassions looked at both DDs quick abrupt texts and thought, well, you could have put that in a nicer way! I do have proof though that this is how both of them text each other so I shouldn't look into it too much. I am having a chuckle at,the mention of PMT, not at all funny when you are going through it but DD1 especially, seems to have more that her fair share I've noticed smile

I know my DDs love me but sometimes they can say something without thinking it through as indeed can I.

Don't take it to heart. Look after yourself just now and concentrate on getting better. flowers

Elegran Tue 06-Jan-15 12:46:39

When she does phone you, be sure not to minimise how ill you are/have been. No need to exaggerate, but we all know how mothers are never ill, don't we? It is not in the contract, we just soldier on.

alex57currie Tue 06-Jan-15 12:58:31

Yesterday I had an arguement with a ladel, new carving knife and a can of rosti serrated at both ends. Fingers and hand look like a war zone. Mind preoccupied with pain level. Put an order for some clothes into a certain clothes manufacturer. Couldnt get it to work online so called customer services. I read from my written record from the catalogue what I wanted to the lady. What an absolute mess i'd made. Nothing made sense. I was flabbergasted by the total drivel that came from my brain. The lady was proffesional, but I am still cringing. So Katek at least you can hold your head up. Hope you feel better soon flowers. I get more frustrated at my own errors rather than a loved ones' reaction to it. Even a total stranger so it appears.

Anya Tue 06-Jan-15 13:22:43

Go out for lunch and forget it. Don't bother to answer her text.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 06-Jan-15 13:27:48

Let in go kate. Put it in a balloon and let it float away.

flowers

NfkDumpling Tue 06-Jan-15 13:35:38

I think Mishap has a point with PMT. My DD2 is sometimes a bit short which did used to upset me for a second or two 'til I noticed she was then being short with everyone. It's been a while since I had PMT but I do still vaguely remember.......!

Grannyknot Tue 06-Jan-15 13:39:17

jings I thoroughly enjoyed the mini series Olive Kitteridge and the main character (played excellently by Frances McDormand) had a mantra which I have now adopted: "Erase it from your mind".

whitewave Tue 06-Jan-15 15:01:21

What is it with our forthright daughters? Mine is the same - must be the way we brought them up? We keep a low profile for a while after she has said her bit and ignore it. Next time we see her she has appeared to have completely forgotten whatever bugged her in the first place. smack her bum Actually we never used any physical punishment on either of our children perhaps it would have helped - a bit of healthy fear???!!!

Tegan Tue 06-Jan-15 15:18:32

I don't understand how professional people who are so good at their jobs are so disorganised when it comes to knowing when their hildren are back at school; I didn't know till Sunday night that I was doing the school run on Monday confused].

Juliette Tue 06-Jan-15 15:22:52

whitewave I think you are quite right when you say it's how we brought them up......a generation of strong young women. My DD is exactly the same. Sometimes when she is expressing an opinion on something she feels strongly about I can hear myself. confused Regarding the text message Katek......words on a screen that's all. Don't be upset.

ginny Tue 06-Jan-15 18:14:46

It's all very well saying 'we bought up strong women' but I think most people would have taught them how to treat other people properly. Surely being strong doesn't mean riding slipshod over other peoples feelings. I also think that sometimes they should be told how they make others feel and to ask them how they would feel under the same circumstances.

Juliette Tue 06-Jan-15 18:24:21

I think that in the main they have been brought up to respect others and their feelings, sometimes, it would appear those rules don't always apply to their mums. I don't think I've had a serious argument with DD since she was a teenager but her text messages can be a bit abrupt sometimes. As I said previously, 'words on a screen'.

Katek Tue 06-Jan-15 22:48:56

Well I had a lovely lunch and came home in a much better frame of mind. I'm just going to let it go........thank you all for kind words. smile

rubylady Wed 07-Jan-15 01:42:56

Jingle love it, thank you, just what I needed after stewing over how my DD treats me. Now I'll focus on my decorating instead. smile