My friends son had sex with a woman 6 years ago ( I won't call it a relationship because it wasn't) this resulted in a child.
Friends son has seen the child twice!!
Some months ago my friend found out that the child has been in care for the past year. My friends DD is giving serious thought to adopting the child.
My friend told her son about this. The son and daughter have not spoken for some years. His response was the usual: over my dead body, etc.
He doesn't want the child. He can't look after himself, let alone a child.
How do you think SS will view this, ie, the bad situation between brother and sister. My friends son can be quite unstable at times due to excessive use of cannabis. The child would have a wonderful home with the sister.
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Does he have any rights.
(21 Posts)I assume this child would be your friends grand daughter and her daughter's neice?
A lot depends on what has gone on for this child. Has the aunt ever met her?
The situation between the brother and sister would have to be carefully assessed. There may be family finding processes already under way.
The friends daughter should try to contact the SSD involved but nothing is guaranteed.
A strange thing for siblings to row about.
Is the child definitely his?
Sorry I did not quite answer the question.
Is the putative fathers name on the birth certificate, and does he know for sure he is the father?
www.mylawyer.co.uk/parental-responsibilities-a-A76051D35033/
Whether or not he has any rights to apply for contact through the courts he could still make B nuisance of himself with his sister if he knew the child was living there.
There might already be some court orders in place to safeguard the child.
It's still best to contact the children's services as a relative.
Thank you, Nellie. His name is on birth certificate. The aunt has never met the child. The 'father' has only seen the child twice and one of those times was to brag to his Mother that he was now a grownup with a child.
My friend is very upset since finding out that the child is in care.
She has even contemplated trying to have the child. But that's Immposible as to a heart condition.
Wouldn't you think that the 'Father' would only be thinking of a child, any child, having the chance to be given a good home.
The child's aunt is asking for a DNA test.
Your friend would be better spending her time getting a vasectomy for her son so that he doesn't go around impregnating women and then dumping the poor children that result. With all the convenient contraception around these two so called adults need their heads knocked together. The important one here is the child, not the son son, and sorry, not the daughter. This child is not a toy to be fought over.
With regard to parent and other relatives "arguing" over rights to have contact or custody with who, nothing surprises be any more.
When I was working I had contacts from so many bickering parents trying to point score over who has the child when and claiming all sort of things against the opposing set of parents.
It is dreadful and much of it is also petty. If only they would stop all this grudge holding and actually think about the welfare of the child everyone would be so much happier.
Having said that most parents do seem to make it work.
I dont think being the aunt will give her any rights to adopt? Just because the child is in care it does not mean it will be put for adoption either
The child's aunt is asking for a DNA test? This is the same aunt who wants to adopt the child, but presumably won't want to if the child isn't related to her?
Sorry, but it sounds like something from the Jeremy Kyle show...
The adoption question came up when SS contacted the 'father' to tell him that the child was being put up for adoption.
I can only assume the that the would be adoptive parents would want this child as he is part of their family.
I can assure you, Ana, that these people are not the sort of pond life that appear on JK. The would be adoptive father is a Heamatologist at a leading London hospital and the would be Mother is a senior Radiographer.
Not the people, just the situation, petra.
So are you saying that the prospective adoptive parents have never met the child and would not want to adopt him/her if a DNA test proved the brother wasn't the father?
Ana. No, the prospective adoptive parents have met the child.
I think it's a gut reaction, coming from the heart. Ie, he's part of our family, isn't there something we can do?
That's just my opinion. My friend has not voiced this thought. Although, when I see her, I will ask.
As I'm writing this I'm beginning to imagine all sorts of problems arising.
If they are allowed to adopt, short of moving away from the area I'm almost certain that the 'Father' would cause trouble. Such a shame. The poor little mite could have a lovely life.
Am I the only one concerned about a Haematologist with a drug habit? Rather he didnt treat me or my family if he isnt even capable of looking after himself or treating his unfortunate offspring with any compassion or caring. Sounds like the aunt may only be getting involved to get back at him. Frankly, without knowing any of them, none of them sound as if they are the right people to be involved in this child's life. Why did the Mother put the child into care? He/she is not a puppy to be got rid of when they grow up into a dog. Sorry to shoot my mouth off, but these two should both be ashamed of themselves.
I'm getting a bit confused, here.
petra, in your post of 15.37 on October 4th you state that the aunt has never met the child. I thought the aunt was one of the prospective adopters, who you say have met him/her.
GillT57 I think it's the (probable) biological father who's the cannabis user.
Sorry, I read that incorrectly! That's a relief. Was getting so incensed on the child's behalf. 
Your right, Ana. The prospective adoptive mother has never met the child.
And GillT57 the prospective father, the Heamotologist, is certainly NOT a drug user, thank you Ana.
GillT57. The birth ' Mother' did not put the child in to care, the child was taken away from her, because of her drug addiction. You don't have too apologise for "shouting your mouth off" My friends son was used as a sperm doner ( the birth mothers words) to have a child. I know of this woman and she truly is a complete mess.
I agree with susieb. I'm not sure that, in law, a baby belongs to a family as a whole. I doubt whether the aunt would be considered as a prospective adopter. SS may be working to get the child back with the mother.
If the baby has been taken away because of the mother's drug habit, and there is no plan for a return to her, the law says that family members must be considered as carers before the child can be placed elsewhere. If family members are ruled out, for whatever reasons, then the likely plan would be adoption outside the family of origin.
I would be very surprised if an aunt and uncle were allowed to adopt their niece or nephew. The blood relationship is too close and a subsequent adoption would be seen as causing confusion for the child growing up. A more likely recommendation would be a Special Guardianship Order. However, it sounds as though the family has a long way to go before they are ready to take this step. The risk of the birth father causing problems is perhaps the least of the issues at the moment. Certainly that risk could be minimised and would not, in itself, be a barrier to the relatives taking on the care of the child.
Thank you for all your comments. I will be speaking to my friend later. I will let you all know if there's any movement on this.
Nightowl you speak with authority and obvious knowledge of how the system works.
Anya 
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