Help - celibate for last 10 years!

Actually celibate’s not the right word - not having sex certainly wasn’t voluntary, it’s because the right chap hadn’t come along!

Hi LucySnowe. No personal experience but do you think a chat with your doctor might help? They might be able to offer you some reassurance or suggest something to help if there are any concerns. You might be surprised and find everything works just fine if you take it slow. Good luck.

Lucy, if this man is around the same age as you, he likely won’t be an Adonis and might well be having the same thoughts as you. Although, most probably, he’ll be hardly believing his luck at having met you! A word with your Dr might be an idea. Try and push concerns aside and enjoy this friendship.

Could you try and talk to him about your concerns? I’m hopeful he’d be very open to working with you to make your sex life together happy. I do hope you can enjoy your body, life is short. X

Lucy you need to speak to your Dr,tell him of your concerns,
He/she can give you something to help, as you will be very dry probably and sex could be painful, they can give you hormone pessaries to help, ask about Vagifem, Drs do not tell older women about this and they really should
Have a look at menopause matters website,they have lots of information, about the menopause and post menopause which will answer all your concerns
Hope this helps

I have been voluntary celibate for over 30 years now and it suits me perfectly…..

I would also ask the doctor for a course of anti biotics to hold in reserve in case you get cystitis

Hi,
A company called Yes produce natural products that help moisturise the vagina if applied over time. Helpful for lots of post menopausal women.

(I hope it’s ok to name the company in this instance)

My GP prescribed Ovestin cream with an applicator to use on a regular basis. Along with KY as necessary. How lovely that you have found someone.! Every good wish for happy times.

If and when you both feel ready, it will be an important thing for both of you.
I hope that all goes well for you. It will be a lovely time which continues, hopefully.
FWIW
If you both want to;, no need to feel self conscious about your body. Love is blind, and it is the details that are loved.
Don't rush things, plenty of foreplay, and lots of lube for both of you.
DON'T make a big thing of any problems that either of you have. Just find ways around them, to maintain your confidence.
Once you start, go with the flow, when and where strikes you (But don't get locked up!)

Optilube works well, and, per 82 grm tube is much cheaper than KY, AND doesn't irritate.
G S Supplies only seem to supply, now, in packs of 12 tubes which makes it a bit expensive, but softens the blow of the £6.50 shipping charge.
HTH

KY Jelly is good. As are lubes you can buy from eBay. I recently bought my son a gin & tonic flavoured lube from eBay, as part of a joke birthday gift along with another little item -- well, he did come back with a strange shopping list when I asked him what he'd like for his birthday, and he really should have known better!! ??
Durex do a lot of lubes.
But if you want to be discreet, definitely browse eBay. They all come in plain packaging.
You can get plain lubes, but a little fun with 'flavours' can't hurt, and you can also get warming and tingling ones!
Good luck with your gentleman!!

I was celibate for about the same length of time before meeting my present husband, and we had no problems we could not overcome, so I hope you will be just as fortunate.

May I ask you to ask yourself, not tell me, why you have lost confidence in your body?

Please take a long frank look at yourself. You are 60, so you don't have the figure you did at 20, but has your body really changed all that much in the past ten years? Probably not.

New lingerie and some clothes that highlight your best features work wonders for confidence.

Then take a good long look at the man in question. He presumably doesn't have glamourous Hollywood looks either, does he?

If you know you suffer from vaginal dryness then make an appointment with either your GP or a gynaeocologist. A check up might be a good thing, as afterwards you can confidently tell Mr. X that you have no sexually transmittably diseases, and ask him to provide a similar clean bill of health . (HIV, clamydia and all the rest of that nasty gang are still out there, you know.)

I wouldn't rush out to buy lubricants, plain old sexual desire gets rid of a h*ck of a lot of inhibitions.

Have you told him about the last ten years and your resulting lack of confidence? I did, at our ages it is easier to talk about than it would have been thirty years ago.

Hope you have a nice twosome for Christmas - all I want for Christmas is you (dreadful song) but might just be your theme song this year.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Hope that everything goes well for you

Hello Lucy again. Good luck with everything.