15yo being horrendously bullied at school

sorry to hear that.
i've got no direct experience of this problem, which seems to be increasingly prevalent.
if the youngster is so adversely affected as to be self-harming, i think i would not return him to that school.
there are other schools. or sometimes tutors can be provided by the local authority, when there is a health need, as in this case.
how do you mean, he has half a year to do.

Have you posted on Mumsnet? There may be more users with school aged children who have experienced this problem. Just a thought.

It is the duty of the school to deal with this and most schools these days take bullying very seriously. If they are getting no response I would go higher, even to the education department. It just isn’t good enough for the teachers to ignore it. I would shout from the rooftops if it was my son.

Is this a private school or academy? They have their own rules not under the LA.
My youngest had MH problems when she was at secondary school she went to CAMHS and for a while went to the hospital school but the minute she went back to her mainstream school all the hard work was undone.
I had to withdraw her in 2012 and home ed. Many people are against that but it made her more self motivated and she graduated last year with a first in adult nursing all off her own back.

Speak to the school before he goes back. If they don't cooperate I would withdraw him. They could let him work from home online. There is something called early college transfers where year 10s and 11s do there GCSEs at your local college you could enquire about this.

The most important thing is that his self harming doesn't start again. Does he want to go back to that school?

How did he get on with home learning when the schools were closed?
And has he been bullied outside school or over social media ? Would the bullying stop if he left the school or learnt at home through the school ?

I wouldn't let my 15 year old go back.

If it's already making them feel so bad it's time to explore other options.
Talk to them. What do they think? Would they rather do something else? Why did they want to go to the school they're supposed to be going back to? It doesn't sound to be so great for their health if they are unable to make it a safe place to be honest.

Home education is chosen by many more people now. Here's a national organisation which is run specifically by and for home-educators. They would be worth a call.
www.educationotherwise.org/
They are very good on what local options might be.

Here's the government's info on going to college early - this is much more common than you might think.
www.gov.uk/guidance/full-time-enrolment-of-14-to-16-year-olds-in-further-education-and-sixth-form-colleges
Don't be put off by dates and deadlines as college have some leeway here in my experience. Try calling a local one to see what they offer.

Oh, maybe you aren't in the UK? Are you?
I don't understand why there's only six months left?

And at 15 is not actually the end of the world. If they even lost a whole year to a method of more relaxed learning would it really matter in the scheme of things?
You can do this. They aren't alone. Find an alternative.
Good luck.

*NotSpaghetti. I completely agree. I would do exactly what you have recommended.

Firstly download the schools anti bullying policy, read it and understand it.
By law this has to be available.
I can guarantee most of the staff will have little idea of the contents!
Then demand a meeting with the relevant staff.
If necessary also write to the chair of governors.

I faced a similar problem years ago, the school had not implemented their own policy.
My intervention resulted in an expulsion.

Schools seem to think it's enough to have an anti bullying policy. Actually implementing it is a different matter. You have my sympathies.
Years ago I was on a crime prevention panel. We found that bullying was endemic in schools and was in fact a version of almost all adult crimes eg taking money with menaces, blackmail, actual and grievous bodily harm etc. Add social media into this mix and it's a recipe for misery for some susceptible children. Very sorry to hear about your boy.

The school has an obligation to deal with bullying , if they refuse to do so then that is indicative of the poor general school ethos! If his parents pursue this situation with a higher authority then it will take time - hoops to jump through! and during the process your GS will still be being bullied!! If he were my son I would remove him immediately- ask him first if course and listen to his wishes. A college of further education will offer him a sound education. The priority is his mental health , his education can take a back seat if necessary. If he has resumed self harming then that must be the motivation to remove him from the school. Missing school is not important ! He can always catch up later - it is not a big deal . However is mental health is !!! Search for an alternative route . I wish him peace and happiness and sincerely hope his parents remove him from a school that is not putting his fist or taking this seriously- unbelievable!

I think he is od enough to decide if he wants to return to the school and it mostly sounds as if he doesn't.
So you are probably going to go down the route of home education as said above. On the other hand the school has a duty of care. So they can be required to provide help with his education and (More importantly) to take responsibility for entering and paying for his GCSEs.
You need to make an appointment to see his year head, his class teacher and/or the school head. Make notes before you go about what you want to say and what you want the school to provide. It may be that there are certain lessons he would feel safe going into, if so ask for that. He may prefer to have a meeting once a week with a member of staff. While he is self harming he shouldn't be put under any pressure. The school should treat him as any other child absent because of illness and provide him with work to do.
I think at 15 a child is old enough to decide what they want and to sit in at any meeting and give their opinion, but this is something for your family to decide.
It would be good if you could sort out provision for him and then pursue the bullying which is going on and bring the school to account. But he is the priority and it can be an exhausting process.
Try to be as relaxed as possible about him. He's going through a bad time but it is possible to drop out of education completely and to go back at a later date. It sounds as if he has improved in the past and school is the big problem, so there is hope. With your love and support he will come through this. Good luck.

Putting him first

The poor sweetheart. What a thing to endure at 15. I have no experience with my own children and severe bullying, just the run of the mill bullying (which shouldn’t be normal).
It must be very hard to watch your gds suffer through this. Perhaps GagaJo has some advice, she seems a very sensible and pragmatic person, with vast knowledge of schools, children’s behaviour and education.

He’s started self harming again gives the impression he has had mental health problems previously or was that all through the same thing Has he had professional help ?
If he is so frightened he is self harming he should not go back and certainly 6 months is not going to make or break an intelligent lad but it might break his mental health if he’s self harming even before returning

What is the schools bullying policy?
Get the schools official complaints procedure and follow it through to the top.

Also contact the police and social services. As the school have a duty of care they are failing to protect a child.

If the school haven’t stepped in there is no point trying to work with them. They clearly needs dismantling so I’d go for the attack.

Schools might have antibullying policies but, in my experience, enforcing it doesn't seem very successful.
At 15 the child can have some input into what he wants to do about putting his future goals in place (school, new school, distance education, home school, trade school, to name a few). I would remove him as soon as possible myself.

If a 15 year old is self harming then take them out of that situation and move to another school, well out of the area if possible. Mental health is far more important than which school is best for them. It is also possible to write to the chair of governors expressing your concerns, the school should be pro active in implementing their anti bullying policy,it doesn’t sound as though they are.

I found taking my son to the GP and asking the GP to write to the school worked an absolute treat in getting them to take my son’s situation more seriously.

A few questions need answering before advice can be given.
Are you in England/Wales? Education in Scotland and NI seems to be very different.
Is the school private, an academy or a regular (local authority run) secondary?
How long has he been there?
Could he return to previous school where presumably he wasn't bullied?

Next year he could go to college (assuming England/Wakes) but the only GCSEs offered tend to be English and Maths. (A couple of others could get picked up in evening classes, but these sometimes get cancelled at last minute if not enough takers)

BlueBelle

*He’s started self harming again* gives the impression he has had mental health problems previously or was that all through the same thing Has he had professional help ?
If he is so frightened he is self harming he should not go back and certainly 6 months is not going to make or break an intelligent lad but it might break his mental health if he’s self harming even before returning

Not all people who self harm have mental health problems for some it is simply a way of coping with some thing they find stressful. Take away the stress and they stop.

Gosh I am sorry to read this. What a concern.
Can you call the governor's of the school ? Or email and explain the situation.
They reply within a short time and would be horrified to hear bullying is ignored.

.p.s you can ask reception for the governor's details or to be fair they should be on the school's website

Chardy this is not correct. Colleges have for years and years been able to obtain funding and will regularly take 14 year olds in England/Wales. They used to have to have 8 contact hours a week if I remember correctly - not sure what the hours are now, they may be the same.

Many offer a full curriculum and some offer pre-GCSE courses too aimed at young people who are vulnerable in some way.

As well as doing everything in your power to urge the school to properly address the problem, have you thought about what you could do to improve your son’s self esteem?

Those targeted by bullies are often lacking in self confidence.
Would he be willing to, for example learn judo or some other sport which could make him feel better about himself and more able to stand up to any bullying incidents?

As we all know, there have always been bullies in schools (to a greater or lesser extent) and despite all the assurances from schools these days that they have a zero tolerance approach to it, I suspect the problem will never go away so it’s up to parents to do everything in their power to equip their child to deal with it.