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Social Delemma

(9 Posts)
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Maisie50 Fri 10-May-24 11:56:24

A close friend died a few years ago and I am in touch with her adult daughters.
One invited me to coffee, to thank me for help with her mother’s probate. My daughter and I met up with her second daughter as they have children in the same class at school – this was the suggestion of the second daughter.
I message them both on the anniversary of my friend’s death and just recently on what would have been her 80th birthday.
Both have said they would like to meet up for coffee.
My last recollection was that they do not get on!
Do I ask them If their relationship has improved, and how should I phrase that?
Whatever the answer, should I say that I am in touch with their sister?
If they have a better relationship, do I suggest that the three of us meet up?

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BlueBelle Fri 10-May-24 12:03:57

I don’t think you should ask anything
meet them on separate days to save any discord unless they offer different

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fancythat Fri 10-May-24 12:05:53

I wouldnt necessarily ask them about their relationship. Depends whether it naturally comes up in conversation or not.

I dont think I would say you are in touch with the other sister. Unless, again, it comes up in conversation.

I wouldnt suggest you all three meet up.

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Georgesgran Fri 10-May-24 12:06:51

Good advice from BlueBell

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Granny23 Fri 10-May-24 12:08:40

Do they post on Facebook or similar? If they do then you could probably get an idea from their posts if there is ongoing contact between them. If that course of action feels too much like spying shock then try phoning the one you know best and ask her the questions you posted above

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RosiesMaw Fri 10-May-24 12:09:37

Exactly what Bluebelle has said.
Their relationship is none of your business and the invitations to meet up for coffee are separate invitations!

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Namsnanny Fri 10-May-24 12:13:05

Yes BlueBelle has it covered.
Enjoy your coffee meet ups.

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TwiceAsNice Fri 10-May-24 15:44:26

Separately definitely unless you have more information and don’t ask

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Maisie50 Fri 10-May-24 19:03:23

Thank you all so much. I was just worried each would find out that I am in touch with the other and think I was going behind their backs..!
Thank you for your thoughts and taking the time to respond

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