School reports

I suspect a 13 year old wouldn’t want a not so great school report shared with his grandmother or anyone else who doesn’t need to see it.

Yes YABU, you shouldn't expect to see your GC school reports, it's not a right, it's a privilege.

Respect your sons decision, he is the child's parent and it is his call if you see the report or not. The child is 13, I'm sure there will be countless opportunities in the future for you to read reports or appraisals, if he and his dad wish you to.

But while I understand that you feel hurt you should think how lucky you were to see his former reports! He is growing up and is becoming independent, while he stills very much cares for you he needs some things to be private between him and his parents.

It’s nice if they offer to show school reports to you, but probably don’t want to if they are not too good.

It’s not your right to see them, and you shouldn’t bring it up.

I’ve seen them when my grandchildren were small but don’t recall seeing any from after Y7 in the secondary schools. It is really up to the parents. As you get on well with your son try not to let him know you are hurt, just accept his decision.

We always saw our granddaughter's reports. We never expected to or asked to. Our daughter always showed us. They were always excellent, not sure we would have been shown otherwise!

Maybe he asked his Dad not to show you. I would brush it off as he and the family are maybe very upset about it.

I've seen them but wouldn't expect to. TBH, reports are usually a load of guff anyway. Teachers are actively discouraged from writing anything negative. A lot of what's in them will be repeated and just phrased differently for other children.

I used to see the two grand children that lived near me, but never seen any of the others and have never asked to
It’s not really a full on expectation is it ? one of those things that’s nice if it happens but not a big deal if it doesn’t
If I was 13 and hadn’t had a brilliant report I wouldn’t want it sharing out nor would I be passing it around if I was your son let them deal with the problems

I don’t understand why you don’t feel part of the family and are hurt by it that seems over the top

I doubt if the boy knows I’ve ever seen them.

I know what you mean, Gagajo, but actually his school writes really personal reports, and there will be exam marks on them too. My son has just said he will come and see me tomorrow (200-odd miles), so I expect I’ll hear a bit more. I’ve said it’s up to him what he tells me, and that I don’t mind. (Not quite true!)

I suppose it’s just that it’s a sudden change. We have, as a family, always shared these things. Just grandparents, that is. I wouldn’t expect to share with aunts and uncles, nieces/nephews, cousins.

I understand Grandma but it’s not a snub on you just something they may not want to continue now they’re no longer primary age children there’s nothing bad about it, just it is as it is
I would totally accept it without meetings or going into it all with your son I really think that’s over the top to have these expectations The boy may be disappointed in himself and not want others chewing over it even if you are non judgemental

It never occurred to me to show school reports to grandparents and I never see my GDC's reports now, although my DC do tell me how things are going.

Please don't let this upset you and accept whatever information your son wants to share with you.

We get shown our GDs when they are good, so mostly. We don’t ask about the others.

I have never seen my grandchildren's school reports. it would never occur to that I should.

Once they got to high school, I found it difficult to de-code the grading system which, I gather, is based on what the child might be aiming for (or should be aiming for) on the GCSE scale of 9 - 1. I'm always happy to see the messages sent home, praising a child's performance or progress in a particular subject. When I was at school, my report showed my % in exams and tests and - invidiously - my place in the class in each subject and overall.
If I were you, I'd forget the report. There is probably a good reason why your GC doesn't want to share it.

Think the older GC get they become more private and don't want grandparents to share so much of their private lives...Only natural....

I should add that my son isn’t coming to see me because of the report! He’s coming because it’s the last chance before they go to France for a long stay. I won’t bring the subject up at all - he may.

I don't see being a part of a family gives anyone the right to know everyone’s business.

It is a shame that he feels he cannot show you but must have his reasons.

I am like M0nica, in that we have never seen any of our grandchildrens school reports. It never even occurred to me that we might.
My parents never saw our childrens reports either.
Is it usual?

We saw their school reports when they were at primary school but from Y7onwards I don't suppose they want grandparents to see them.

They're all computer generated now, not like the good old days when they were handwritten, individual and usually consisted of 'could try harder', 'daydreams' but very occasionally witty.

My parents never saw my children's reports and my grandparents never saw mine. I am surprised your grandson has waited this long before objecting.

eazybee

My parents never saw my children's reports and my grandparents never saw mine. I am surprised your grandson has waited this long before objecting.

Same here. It wouldn't have occurred to me to show my children's reports to their grandparents. If they had had particularly good reports, I may have mentioned it as part of a conversation, but that would have been it.

I haven’t seen one in 17 years and three GC. If I’m lucky I might get a potted verbal report of parents evening. My GP never saw my reports either.