Should we ignore....

(Slopes off to pick up grandchildren)

(Throws usual hand grenade and runs!)

Perhaps we should make comment but try not to be nasty in so doing. This is difficult when using the written word rather than talking direct. Hence the use of emoticons to try to put the true feelings across although even these can be misconstrued.

Unfortunately being such different characters we all see things from a different point of view. Quite often I don't even spot the slights and even more often i take offence at a perseved slight when there is nothing intended (as proven by my year away from GN when I went off in a huff - but how you were missed!). Now I am wonderful, never want to hurt and never, ever get angry. and obviously a liar!

(Ducks back under the duvet in fear and trepidation)

Would you make a personal remark to someones face ? Why do some people think it's ok to use the anonymity of forums to do so.
I do however, believe that it's very easy to misinterpret the feeling behind what's written. Also some people have met up and are more than just cyber friends and may be sharing an 'in joke' which others may possibly misinterpret. In which case these should be done through pm's therefore averting bad feeling amongst GN's who feel upset on others behalf.

I don't think it should be ignored but I do think that people should make their point and not get into a tit for tat posting match.. voice your disapproval and then let it lie it otherwise turns into a free for all sometimes.

Perhaps, when something looks as if it has been ignored, it has not even been noticed. As deb says, people read different things into the same words. In addition, some people are more upsettable than others. That's not a criticism, just an observation. Perhaps I should rephrase it as some people are less upsettable than others.

I decided not to pass by on the other side last night and unleashed a torrent of fury.

Some can give it but not take it - even in small doses.

Gransnet is becoming divisive and I don't like gang mentality either. No wonder people leave.

I meant 'perhaps we should make comment ....' regarding a poster's disparaging remark. You make some very good points nina particularly in relation to 'in jokes' I hadn't thought of that. (Billy no mates me )

I agree with nina re the written word. I have (and so have other people I know) got totally the wrong end of the stick when receiving texts.

Do you know, there was a point last evening when I thought about this. Tbh, on the particular thread I was looking at, I would have said nothing.

Sorry merlot.

That's OK, jingl. I won't be saying any more. I should have known I was on a hiding to nothing.

Oh come on. It Wasn't that bad. It was a close one really.

Mwah!

I do think that when someone makes what they intend to be a light-hearted comment, and the person to whom it's addressed is offended by it for whatever reason, it's surely common courtesy to apologise for any offence caused.

It is not courteous to imply that it's somehow that person's own fault for misunderstanding or misreading the post!

I am doing too much knitting and missing lots on GN it seems.

Ain't you finished that blanket yet, glass?

What if the person it may be is addressed to doesn't mind?

In that case, there wouldn't be anything to apologise for

It can be a common defence when feeling picked on to laugh it off pretending people are laughing with you not at you - some very offensive "age-ist" birthday cards out there for instance. Would you send one depicting absent mindedness to a person with early dementia?

Was it a joke about glass's blanket?

I'm knitting a huge one at the moment.

Yes, it was a joke, petallus. There's a photo of a bit of it on one of the threads, and very lovely it looks, but seems rather a complicated pattern!

It's easy to find out if someone feels hurt by a post. Just PM them and ask. Also is there a history of bad feeling? When you've been on GN as long as I have many of us have you start to notice things like this.

I agree with merlot's post of 09:16:32.

Surely if someone shows that a post has upset them or that something incorrect has been said then an apology should be made? I do find it hard to understand why people make assumptions about others and when they are told the assumption is completely wrong they fail to apologise. I think we forget we were upset if we get a genuine apology but when we have been slighted and not received an apology we remember for a very long time.

I once responded to a scathing (I thought) comment aimed at me with a simple 'ouch!' I didn't want to get caught up in a war of words but I wanted someone to know the comment had felt hurtful. No one noticed.

They may have done, mollie, but what would they say?