Making me ill

Really sorry to hear your story. Sadly in my experience admin staff (and teaching staff) come out of academisation very badly, especially the older ones. It's not personal x

Definitely don’t leave! However it does sound as if you need some time out as others suggest. Battling on ‘until something goes very wrong’ will not help you and you will, likely, not get much / any real support from your employer. Going off sick does mean you will be at home but that might be safer than being at work and making a mistake. Better, too, if you want to get another job in the future

I agree with barmeyoldbat, sleepygran and some others. Hang in there kid. DO go to your GP because you are depressed & stressed. If you can get counselling do so. I've been in similar position and it helped me enormously - helps you to take stock, prioritise. Please don't be offended but your husband sounds lazy & selfish (and I used to be married to one like that - it really gets you down) he won't understand your problem and won't want to either so you must feel alone and trapped. Try not to worry about inheritances etc for offspring - it's a pressure you don't need right now. Tell hubby straight, your job is at risk, he needs to pull his weight, a holiday is out of the question right now. There are jobs out there for him but he obviously prefers to sit on his bottom and let you run yourself into the ground. Perhaps he feels the jobs available to him are beneath him? Too bad! Getting out of those four walls is important for your mental well-being I really do empathize with that however if you did have to leave your current position maybe you could do volunteer work if you received an income from another source. Or, admin in a hospital, medical/dental practice. You must be a little bit younger than I but we still have so much to offer the workforce & we're happy to go the extra mile. Oh I do wish you well, but please put yourself first, something I suspect you don't often do.

OP if the best reason for work is that you want to avoid being with your DH perhaps it is time to look at that. After all you will retire and then wil it be any easier to cope with him?

Maybe this is the real situation that is undermining your health?
I do agree that Academy Trusts are only there to make money.
Your problem is only really short term. You can leave or not leave.
You do not need to work to ensure money for your decendants!

Yes take care of yourself but if you are not happy with DH isn't that a bigger stress than the work situation?

My other worry is what the poor children going to that school will be facing. Not enough staff and poor teachers no doubt.

Such a sad sign of the times when people are so stressed, overworked, under appreciated and nobody cares. I was over the moon when I was given redundancy, I cried with sheer joy. My advice to you is to start being selfish and start looking after yourself, as nobody else will and unfortunately that seems to include your lazy, selfish husband. Forget about leaving money for others, this is your life and not everyone is fortunate enough to receive a large inheritance. See what happens with your work meeting, then just as others have said, go off sick with stress. I know many of our generation are averse to this, however, when employers don’t care, then why should we. Be kind to yourself ?

Don't leave, at least until you know what the powers that be are planning. There may be opportunities to take redundancy and that way you can leave and get a bit of redundancy money. Sick leave can be taken while the changes go through or you can ask to be put on garden leave rather than be forced to work out your (redundancy) notice period.
In the meantime, as others have said, look at voluntary opportunities; there are so many things you could do as a volunteer. Don't be confined by assumptions that it's all about charity shops (unless that appeals to you!)

Take some time off Evie64 get some help from your doctor and take time to consider your options. Sadly the days of leaving an inheritance for the children are largely over for the average person so don't worry about that. Look at returning to work on a part time basis if this is possible. Do you really want to continue working yourself into the ground to support your lazy husband, there has to be a better life than that for you. Talk to your family and get their support..

I'm windering why you're still with your husband, a man who doesn't want to look for a job, is content to rely on your efforts to supplement your household income and is not a very nice person to spend time with.
Onewould also question your eagerness to save money for your children to inherit, thus you are, in essence, working to put money in their pockets at a cost to your health.
How ridiculous.

windering wondering

Just to add another thought for your consideration......

Do not put money by to give to your DDs as an inheritance. If you have enough for your needs and spare then give it to them now. You would not want to have all your savings drained away paying for care for yourself or husband if either or both of you need it in the future.

You could also while you are away sick deal with the lazy other half. A few home truths and maybe a work to rule. I am sure your children would not want your money which is risking your health.

Do you have any outside interests that you could go to during the day to leave your husband to it.

When you are sorted at work then is the time to take stock of your marriage, do you still want it? But don't try to do everything at once.

We do not have to leave inheritance for our children, I brought my 2 on my own, i then sold my house and now rent son is very good to me not so daughter, I worked 60/70 hours a week, I have done my share I now spend money on me if there is any left when I go they are welcome to it just sure I kept some back in case I need care

I agree with others who have said that you should not be working to provide an inheritance for your children. It's time to look after you if at all possible. On the job front, I found joining an agency to do temporary work extremely effective. I did this when I moved 400 miles at the age of 70, partly to earn money and partly to get to know people in my new location. I got plenty of work and one assignment led to a permanent part time job, which at the age of 75 I am still holding down! So nil desperandum, there are opportunities out there. I wish you well, not least in your desire to have a life away from a tricky husband. Being unhappy at home is no joke. Look after yourself, you have earned the right to put yourself first for a change. All the very best to you.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

quite shocked to read this, for sure.

Do not feel guilty...look after you. Can you work on a bank so you choose the hours? Yep, off sick with work related stress. Do not walk away with nothing. Once you are I'll health retired....Put yourself first! I asked to reduce my hours 10 years ago due to being a carer...answer was no...next day I handed my notice in!... was told not to be hasty they would work something out! Best thing I did was to walk away.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Have you posted on the wrong thread?

Agree with others Look after yourself. Go off on stress and don’t feel guilty. believe me you will need longer than a week. I don’t want to sound harsh but I know from personal experience, ultimately we are a number. I worked all hours as and went to work when not well enough. Then made redundant ...

If you can limp on until you reach retirement age and can claim your state pension, with a husband not working you may be able to claim Pension Credit, which, even if it is not the maximum amount, is worth having. Have a look on the government’s Pension Credit web page, there’s a calculator on there that will give you a rough idea of how much you might be entitled to. It certainly helped us when I retired but my Toy Boy (two years younger) DH was not working.

Thank you all or your advice and incredibly kind words, it's really helped me put things into perspective. You're right of course, and I have a GP appointment in a couple of weeks time (the earliest I could get!). The powers that be shuffled in on Thursday, shuffled into the meeting room. Admin team not invited. After 2 hours, they shuffled out again and left. Didn't even have the decency to come and talk to any of us. Appalling dereliction of their "duty of care". Yesterday the new business manager had a 5 minute chat with us all (whilst the phones were still ringing and parents at the desk to be dealt with). She said that they were "hoping" to get an advert out to replace the full time member of staff within the next month and do we all want to do extra hours in the meantime. NO, we don't! I am actually feeling better because instead of being a weeping snotty mess, I am now bloody angry, which is a good deal healthier. How dare they make me feel like this! In any event, I will plod on and not take on any extra work, I'll work my contracted hours and not a minute more. I'll contact Unison to see if they can help and if things don't improve I'll go off with work related stress. As for the husband, the plan was always once I retire, I'd look for some voluntary work locally, perhaps Age Concern or the like? Thanks again to all of you. You really have made me see some sense. xx

I agree with those who say you need to see your GP and explain how stressed and depressed you are. I don't think you need to "lay it on with a trowel". Your description of how you feel - frequent bouts of crying and feelings of dread - are surely enough to demonstrate to your GP that you are in no fit state to work.

I think you should make full notes of what has been happening - for example the complete lack of communication and respect shown before and after the meeting you just described. I believe within employment law there is a requirement for staff to be consulted and kept fully informed if major changes are occurring. Your union should be able to advise you.

OP yes you definitely must take care of yourself.

I am horrified though that a school has a new business manager? what for?
sorry for the off tangent question.

Hi Pinkquartz. Business Manager? Well, it's the "Academy Trust way"! Academy Trusts are businesses with very overpaid fat cats at the top of the tree, so you will find Business Managers in all schools that have been coerced into joining an academy trust. When our school joined the first one, there was a whole staff meeting to explain what, when and why. I stood and asked "but what's in it for us?" The answer I got was that we needed to "jump before the government pushed us". It's the way they want all schools to go. Turns out there really wasn't anything in joining that has benefited our school as far as I can see. Benefited the fat cats though.

Evie64 I agree. It's been a massive scam at the expense of the taxpayer. The pay these people are getting are quite ridiculous - makes MPs' salaries pale into insignificance.