Radio 4 shock

I haven't listened to radio 4 in a long time, so can't comment on its "decline", if there is one. But why the embarrassment? You're a grown woman with life experience and, I imagine, your GS wasn't unfamiliar with the subjects either. So what's there to be embarrassed about? I discuss all sorts of subjects with my GC, nothing is off the table (with their mother's permission, of course). Their mother, my DD, has made it hers life work to try and embarrass me, by talking about absolutely "everything". She's yet to succeed, but she keeps trying...

But it's award winning DrWatson 😂

Thank you Caravanserai (an album by Santana perhaps?) - nice description, I've listened to R4 for many years, driving to and from work, lots of great shows, but your text reminds me that the afternoon play is unfailingly total tripe, meritless other than provoking the thought "which BBC imbecile commissioned or approved THAT"??

I always thought BJ referred to the illustrious Mr Boris Johnson, but well, maybe....!

Award-winning short stories are exactly what I’d expect to hear on Radio 4…

I meant to add, I love his comment

Vintagenonna

I was asked by one of the grandsons (then 14/15) what 'oral sex' was. He said he thought his parents would be too shy to tell him.

I explained it - how it could work for either female or male bodies and that it was very much a question of personal choice and consent - like all sexual encounters.

Bit of a long pause while we finished the dishes then "it sounds very nice."

Fast forward a decade or so and he is happily settled with his partner. I never told his parents about his question or his view of what he saw as their shyness - that really would have shocked them. I just felt honoured to have been trusted.

I just felt honoured to have been trusted.

This is such a lovely story.
I would have felt the same in this situation too.

Don't worry .

Aged 15 , your grandson could write a sex manual .

I used to have the world's most nosey neighbour . He spent hours spying on me and if he saw me would ask personal questions .

One day , he nearly fell off his ladder -supposedly dead heading his roses , but actually listening to my daughters talking about not liking anal sex .

I was asked by one of the grandsons (then 14/15) what 'oral sex' was. He said he thought his parents would be too shy to tell him.

I explained it - how it could work for either female or male bodies and that it was very much a question of personal choice and consent - like all sexual encounters.

Bit of a long pause while we finished the dishes then "it sounds very nice."

Fast forward a decade or so and he is happily settled with his partner. I never told his parents about his question or his view of what he saw as their shyness - that really would have shocked them. I just felt honoured to have been trusted.

M0nica

Amelegra I am totally at one with you. As I said up thread, I always answered my children's questions and if my grandson had been with me when this story was on, i doubt I would even have reaally noted the content

Namsnanny Op is free to do as she pleases, and if she found it annoying or embarrassing, who are we to say otherwise? In which case why did she start this thread?

To exercise her prerogative, would be my guess.
Just as you and I are M0nica 😁
But I havent asked her.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Thoughts and prayers

If I was that 15 year old I would have been frustrated. So much I wanted to know at that age and sex, even childbirth, were taboo subjects in our house. There was a chance for him to learn more about what makes the world go round and it got switched off. Or perhaps he knows it all already.

Had it been my 9 year old grandson in the room with me I wouldn’t have had it on as it’s a programme for adults.

Amelegra I am totally at one with you. As I said up thread, I always answered my children's questions and if my grandson had been with me when this story was on, i doubt I would even have reaally noted the content

Namsnanny Op is free to do as she pleases, and if she found it annoying or embarrassing, who are we to say otherwise? In which case why did she start this thread?

VioletSky

Don't make things awkward with your grandson, I always laugh with my teenagers when this stuff comes on TV or whatever.

I don't want them to have any hangups or embarrassment about sex, pregnancy or any of that stuff.. I want them to be confident, educated and able to seek support for issues.

Just this!
We need our children to be able to ask us for questions rather than the internet.

I heard that short story and was rather surprised to hear such an explicit broadcast in the middle of the afternoon. I’m no prude, but I thought it was inappropriate particularly as no warning was given in advance.

Caravansera

What depths?

I assume OP was listening to the BBC National Short Story Award story Comorbidities by Naomi Wood.

The opening sentence was:

For a while Joe had wanted to spice things up in the bedroom. which might have been a warning about what was to come but what did come was very tame.

Joe is an ethnic-Chinese mental health nurse who counsels young people who have suffered social media abuse.

The story is about a young couple exhausted by having two young children, worrying about climate change and their children’s future. There’s a discussion of social media abuse, over-consumption of meat, cultural differences, over-population, racism, the emptiness of dating apps.

They give the children to his parents to look after so they can have some time alone together but are so exhausted that they sleep for most of it before sex. That part of the story takes up about a minute out of 27 minutes. They do video what they do to “spice things up” but later delete it for fear of it being hacked and ending up online especially in view of the work Joe does. There’s a mention of a BJ, not even the words, just BJ and the words dick and nipple but more about what happens to nursing breasts than anything else and how women's bodies are changed by pregnancy but not men's.

Then the couple go to his parents, the six of them go out for Chinese food and then to the park. It’s a story about family life.

A 15 year old boy knows what a BJ is, knows what dicks and nipples are because he has both. He will know that people video themselves having sex and how damaging it can be when these videos are used to exploit others.

Overreaction from OP who could have listened calmly to the story and maybe discussed some of the issues with her grandson instead of of this rant.

Ah! another jolly lecture from the beeb
Op is free to do as she pleases, and if she found it annoying or embarrassing, who are we to say otherwise?

I agree this type of programme is no what I expect from Radio 4.
I’ve noticed recently some on Radio 4 are not speaking clearly. I’m not referring to accents - just mumbling. I thoroughly enjoy a clear voice regardless of accent. I’ve listened to programmes where the guest is introduced at the beginning of the programme and not mentioned by full name again - so if I come in after the introduction, I’m lost. It was never like this!!

I have always been open and completely unembarrassed about such things. My own parents were horribly prudish and shut down any question I might ask. I was told about menstruation only when it had happened and my mother shoved a pamphlet at me together with a packet of sanitary towels. And she was a nurse! I discussed these subjects honestly with my children as they grew up and they can still tell me or ask my opinion on most things! My daughter is and intends to be the same with her own four. I personally dislike radio, but TV can throw up some unexpected challenges, I admit, which I have always tackled head on. I hope to be the same with my grandchildren, subject to parental approval, ha ha!

Do you mean 'BJ'?
I listened to the recording thoughtfully provided, and it reminded me why I stopped listening to most of Radio 4; just rather mediocre.

This 79 year old doesn't have a clue what a DJ is!!

Yes ‘was listening and thought the same.

Sex education is important. Why feel embarrassed about natural functions?

I had Radio 4 on yesterday driving home and caught the programme. I thought it was very entertaining - albeit rather "woke" at times. It was almost finished by the time I got home and I was going to sit and listen to the end but my husband came out and opened the boot to remove the shopping so I missed it. I'll catch up later.

Next story is due to air in a couple of minutes after The Kitchen Cabinet:

Reeta Chakrabati was the chair of judges for the award:

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/5JVyG19VvdpQdsQGcCv3WVJ/meet-the-judges-for-2023

Judges included Jessie Burton (The Miniaturist).