Maternal: How do we feel about the portrait of Grans?

I think a lot depends on the circumstances. Years ago I used to dream about what I would do with my grandchildren when I had them. I was then a carer for my mother, father and father in law, and to be honest, it nearly finished me off. Now, in my sixties I just don't have anything left to give to anyone who makes emotional or physical demands on me because the burnout of being a carer for so long and dealing with so much left me pretty much on empty. I try each day to do joyful things and mix with kind people but don't think I would have the capacity to car for small children if ask. We don't have grandchildren. A lot really does depend on the individual and I really admire the grans who spend time with the grandchildren and also the people who have an appetite for life where they go out and do all they always wanted to do.

I have always lived 200 miles fom my grandchildren, so childcare has never been an option. Looking at my companion grandmother, she looked after the first child for a day a week, but she has always been 'on call' rather than a hands-on carer.

Personally, I most emphatically never wanted to be a serious or regular child carer. DH and I travel a lot and have other interests. We love our grand children and always respond to emergencies, but regular daily care - no.

I havn't watched it yet, so I didn't realise that grandparents would be featured. I will make an effort to watch it now, and have a think.
Some posters on mumsnet do seem to feel aggrieved when their parents don't provide free childcare.

I was still working full time when MzOops had her children but they lived in London so the subject was never raised, but we paid for half of their childcare costs until they went to school, so I think we did our bit.

I was prepared to do some child care for MissOops, who lived locally, maybe 2 days a week, when she married but then she had Cancer and sadly was unable to have children. As she has health problems we dog sit for her instead.

I’ve always lived over 100 miles from my DGCs but was lucky enough to be able to spend periods of time looking after them. I loved every second!
They’re older now and my DS and DDIL’s working practices have changed since Covid, as has my health. I’d be happy to help out in an emergency or for short lengths of time but would find it very tiring.
I have childminded by video on a couple of occasions, great fun! Only for 10 minutes or so 😊

Our GS lived with us for almost two years, and we still provide childcare for him when he's not at school, as both my son and his partner work shifts and there is no-one else who could care for him.

One of my 2 daughters had a baby at 17, another one at 19 then split with her boyfriend ( haven't seen him since ) I was at the birth of both and we are very close. She then met another bloke when she was 24 and had a baby with him . He was gone even before she gave birth . The eldest 2 girls are now 12 and 10 and the little boy is 5. My daughter was in rented for many years , finally given a council house a couple of months ago. She's been suffering with her mental health since covid , she tries really hard but still needs so much support. It's just me , her stepdad is good at practical things , diy etc . Her twin sister works full time , they aren't close and have a strained relationship at best. So most of the time it's down me , I'm exhausted with it all. Everyday is a different drama with them. I have ra and other health issues, I'm only 58, hubbie took early retirement last year and we had loads of plans to travel etc. But as my daughter doesn't drive yet , we feel stuck .

My daughter was prone to depression and worried it might return post natally.My husband thought if I job shared with her she could still BF and get the company she needed .Thats what we did,She worked half days during the week and was at home when her husband was there for support.I had baby 1 until he started school and he was a joy .Baby two arrived just before he started school and we kept with the routine but I collected him from school and had them both until she went to nursery at 4 .
That was when my son moved home with his one year old in tow as his partner had been cheating on him .We had that wee girl with us half of every week until she was 10 .Her dad did move in with a new partner the year before but we wanted her to leave when she felt comfortable with it .She still has a bedroom here 3 years later and often decides she'll stay over .
No 4 and 5 we only have now and then, the 3 year old is very clingy with her mum so even part time nursery is a problem
I would have loved a big family but didn't have babies easily so having all these wee people was an unexpected joy

It is sometimes expected that GP should automatically help out with GC but it does depend on various factors. Health mobility access distance travel it’s about getting the balance right.
I helped look after both my dad until his sudden death then my mum in very difficult circumstances. My dear MiL was dying and only wanted me around to help until she went into care. I was worn out stressed out it affected my health and I was estranged from most of my siblings.
I first became a gran just at sixty I helped with my GC when they were born. I wanted to help when my other GC was born too. Sometimes my DH would help out but we had pets to consider too.
We love our family very much and see them each week we support them as much as we can with occasional school pickups etc.
Anything we can do to help we do willingly and we see our friends who we share hobbies with making the most of what time we have. As I said earlier it’s about getting the balance right at our time in life we have earned it

Our attitude is we raised ours and will help if needed. We didn't do scheduled weekly care/school pickups, but we will do such occasionally.

They come round and we do some pickups, visits are short and for their mum's convenience/ needs. Logical really, we travel extensively and need lots of time to our dog responsibilities. Are we portrait GP? IDK.

Forgetting the portrayal of Grans, I am loving Maternal for its down-to-earth portrayal of young mothers trying to juggle everything.