Recently retired

Oh dear, GrandmaViv, I'm not the one to cheer you up as I don't much like being retired and becoming a non-person either. However, there are plenty on here who enjoy the whole thing and speak well of it. Give it ten minutes and they will be along to cheer you up.

It's when the bus will not accept your John Lewis card that I get upset, never mind, you'll get used to us soon enough GrandmaViv.

Being retired does not make you a "non-person"!!!!!!!

If the bus driver is rude you should report him/her.

I'd have told the Bus Driver that I was quite caperable of doing his job if he/she found it so boring !! the cheek of it.
I do think maybe you should look about at volunteering somewhere it will stop you watching the dreaded TV adverts for a start,if you like children try your local school as a one to one reading assistant or local library you will soon find something to centre your experience around.GN passes the day over if you can't get out for any reason and go and get back on that bus asap. xxx

I presume the ads you refer to are on tv? If so, stop watching! There are plenty of entertaining/informative/aggravating programmes on radio and, yes, I have heard a very occasional funeral ad but not often enough to bother me. The great thing about radio is that you can do other things while you listen.
As for the buses; why can't you go on the bus again? You're going to let one crotchety driver put you off for ever? Would you stop driving if you encountered a bad tempered parking warden?
Put your skills and experience gained in that responsible job to good use with some charity or voluntary organisation that needs them and you absolutely won't be a non-person (and you won't have time for day time television, either).

Luckygirl, I agree that retirement should not make you a non-person but the OP mentioned that she had retired from a 'responsible job', as did I (and many others, of course) and togo from that to retirement does give one a feeling of suddenly being a 'non-person', or it did me at any rate. I am trying to overcome it though!

I can’t believe that someone with a previous responsible job would be intimidated by one rude bus driver. Get back on the bus! Don’t watch daytime TV- there is so much else you could be doing. Lots of people love U3A, volunteering , adult ed classes, Futurelearn online university courses. There’s a whole world out there , plan a trip if that’s a possibility, is there any subject / language or skill you’d like to take up or improve? This is the perfect time to try something new! Think like a student trying to choose what you want to study - this is the perfect opportunity to try so many different things.

Suzied says it all. Get yourself out there and go by bus. You'll get over this temporary downer. This time next year you won't be able to recognise yourself. Get to it girl!

Relevant article in the Guardian today. it is on the "lifestyle" section of their website titled "It was like a bereavement: life after leaving a big jog. Maybe have a read of that to see how other people are coping.

I was a sahm (in my view a very responsible job! Please do something with your life. There are loads of volunteering roles about that you could do!

Just grin the next time you put the bus pass down the wrong way, who cares what the bus driver thinks?
Retirement is different and does take some getting used to.
Take it slowly, consider where you may like to visit, then realise there is no rush.After being bound by the clock all our lives it’s a tremendous gift for some days, that time doesn’t matter.?

I had a highly responsible job, but in no way felt like a non-person when I retired. I cannot see any reason at all to think like that. Why would you?

Anyone capable of a responsible job is capable of making their retirement productive and fulfilling, so GrandmaViv resist the temptation (?) of daytime TV and hold your head up with pride. This is the start of the rest of your life. It is there for you to enjoy. Look upon it as the sort of challenge you used to face at work and put your all into it.

I found I was treated more like a non person in my last few years at work as an older employee. Now I can go where I like and do what I like I don't have to put up with horrible bosses.
I don't watch daytime TV, there's too much else to do.
Remember, you are still an independent, intelligent person, and you now have time to learn new skills, give your time to causes you believe in or whatever else you wish to do.

I’m recently retired and I had a job doing somthing I considered useful. All my life I’ve looked after other people. Listened to their problems, given them advice, supported them through some of the worse and best times of their lives. I put up with all the management could throw at me, I’ve watched colleagues despair as yet more changes(mostly not for the best) were changed and changed again and I’m so relieved to be out of it. I don’t feel like a none person. I’m still me. I still get fuddled using my bus pass but I tell the bus driver and they are always really helpful, but then I’ve probably got a face that no one would cross. Retirement is a new phase of our lives by its very nature it may mean the time shouldn’t be wasted. The one thing I’ve learnt is that you can’t go backwards, regrets solve nothing and brooding is a waste of time. For now I’m grateful to be able to enjoying not doing anything useful and not being responsible. I may feel differently in a few months time if so I’ll find something useful to do. It is like every big change in our lives we need time to come to terms with it.

Have you tried joining U3A? Depending where you live there are likely to be lots of activities going on.

Stop watching day time television.
Gardening is my retreat. I am happiest pottering about outside but winter is coming on.
I have not been so relaxed since I retired. I joined a knitting group a U3A play reading group and two choirs .
Retirement is wonderful.

Embrace this time as some folk don't have the opportunity to reach their retirement. Are you in good health with a family, friendship network? I am loving being a non person, no a very much still here and alive person. I have two younger sisters. One died aged 13 and the other 35. Both had Cf. If I ever feel low I think of them and think, yes I have been given a longer life, so live it for them.

I'd never report a bus driver for something as trivial as an eye-roll. Now there's a responsible job - driving a bus.

Life is what you make it Viv. Personally I'm having a great retirement. Why on earth are you looking at funeral plans? Look at the travel channel! Or better still pack the rucksack and go!!!!!

GrandmaViv I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling depressed after retiring - and that the rather rude behaviour of a bus driver has really upset you. I can understand that.

I'm not quite sure how to make you feel better, except to say that at least you can look back on having had an emotionally, intellectually (and presumably financially) fufilling job. I look back on the many years I spent in a fairly mundane (though reasonably well paid) job that I found both unsatisfying and stressful - a horrible combination. Yes, it perhaps makes me appreciate retirement more, but it also makes me regret all the miserable years I spent at work.

I am sure once you have had more time to adjust, you will find there are many things you can do that will fill your days and make them meaningful and enjoyable.

If you are reasonably comfortable financially, you also have the opportunity to take more holidays and short breaks and have some meals out.

I appreciate having the time now to be a member of two choirs, join various courses, help with my grandchildren, etc. etc. I was always too late home or too exhausted to be able to do these things when I was working.

Good luck and I hope you soon feel better.

GrandmaViv
I haven't been able to get back on the bus since
That was a joke, wasn't it? As for bus driver rolling his eyes, that's their raison d'etre.
Auntieflo
Tears rolling down my face with laughing. You know when you've read something so funny that you will grinning about it all day: well your post is one of those