Archers addicts 3!

Lazingirl - I think it was fairly late in the pregnancy. She said she was a bit cold and Rob said he knew a way to warm her up. I think she said 'No,' in a resigned, hopeless way. Chilling.

Petra, last time I looked (about five years ago) the research suggested women leave twenty times before finally making the break.

Where the rape is concerned I think Helen might well but it in a different mental category to a slap. Acknowledging both that it happened and that she is not responsible brings up so many more questions. Being in thrall to this sort of person (Rob) means your thinking, as Petra and Iam have said, is incredibly mixed up with you trying to make the unreasonable reasonable and being left with only the version the perpetrator is giving to rely on.

Iam64 And even when you think you have got them away from the abuser they go back. As my mother did when me and my sister literally had a tug of war in a mental hospital with my father as to who she was going home with.
My mother went home with my sister and lived with her for 2 yrs.My sister came home from work one day and there was a note to say she had gone back to my father.

Petra, I was lucky, my dad wasn't violent but I have close friends who lived with the fear it could erupt any time, especially if drink has been taken.
Stockholme Syndrome was the term used to explain why hostages form relationships with captors. Patty Hearst is a good example and I see Helen in that category, psychologically dependent on her abuser and having lost her sense of self. As Petra said, powerless.

Luckylegs9. You ask how a mother could not protect her children. I grew up with a very violent father. We were all battered by him, but my mother got the worst of it.
I was confused as I got older as to why she let this happen. Of course back then there was no where to go except sometimes we all had to run to her friends house.
It wasn't until I was in my 30s that I read about battered woman's syndrome. I understood then that she was in such a bad place in her head that she was powerless.

I suspect Helen does remember it and the slap but can't acknowledge it. Rape wasn't a crime in marriage until relatively recently. The expectation that women will supply sex on demand for husbands remains, as has been demonstrated on various gransnet discussions. Rob had Helen convinced of her stupidity, inadequacy as a wife,mother and human being. I wish it was possible for someone to have a proper discussion with Helen. Ian may help.

Yes, but there was a pause when she answered the question so there was no doubt she remembered it. I think it happened twice? Will come out in the end.

When Anna asked if there were any other occasions when Rob used physical violence against her Helen said no but we all have a strong suspicion that she was raped the night she conceived Jack. . .

Former Editor of The Archers, William Smethurst has died

Helen has experienced the most traumatic loss in the past of a brother and partner, and having found what she thought was the perfect "soulmate" she has now in effect lost him too as he is not the person she thought. Most would have cracked in similar circumstances I think, which is what others have said, and Rob obviously chose her because of her vulnerability. I agree with Iam64 she is in a dark place and unable to prioritise safety of child/ren - yet. I also agree with Gracesgran that although the case against Rob is slowly building they will stretch drama out as long as possible for maximum effect.

She didn't stand up to Rob in the circumstances he created because she was not the person who would do so in those circumstances Luckylegs. People like 'Rob' choose their targets very carefully. If this wasn't the case not a scam or fraud would ever work.

Do not believe it could not be you! A narcissistic psychopath would set up different circumstances to suit your character but you would be left saying 'why didn't I' just as so many women are.

Helen was carefully selected by Rob who then set about mesmerising her, alternately putting her on a pedestal then undermining and humiliating her. It's a fairly common scenario in domestic abuse. I remember the midwife describing Rob as the perfect husband and hoped that meant she'd recognised he was very far from that but very clever at presenting himself as Mr Perfect. Many people do "fall for that" Luckylegs and those of us who haven't should count our lucky stars.

I know there are mothers who ill treat their children, but Helen didn't. I cannot see how anyone that loves their child could let him be Ill treated. Most mothers would die to save their child, so I cannot understand where she is coming from. I could never understand why she didn't stand up to Rob in the beginning, the getting married with no one there, there is no way most people would ever fall for that, she was almost a willing victim.

I suppose we are all on 'Planet Me' Merlot and the way we parent differs from person to person. I wonder what you would criticise about how "Helen" parented?

Can't wait for Ian to be back on the scene. He's one of my favourite characters.

Part of Helen's difficulty in accepting her abuse is that she's always been on Planet Helen - happy to use people for her own ends and throwing her toys out the pram if anyone disagreed with her.

I suppose if you've always been indulged it's difficult to realise that the only way forward is to do something for yourself for a change.

I've always thought her maternal instincts were a bit odd.

I don't believe Helen is setting out to put herself before Henry. She is in some kind of psychological state, denial, shame being significant. Denial and minimisation of her own abuse is there in spades and I suspect her telling Anna so little about life at BHC is part of the shock and shame she's living with. Shame is a big one and I suspect she is drowning in it. There have been hints when she's called herself an idiot, said Rob was right to say she's hopeless, a bad mother etc. She is making progress and in making these comments, I'm not denying I'm another one shouting at the radio - tell her Helen.

Helen is not putting herself before Henry imo. I feel it is an accurate reflection of real life to show how hard it would be for her to sort out for herself behaviour that is so foreign to her. Eastenders, etc., would have it finished in a week but the Archers has always been more about real time.

My kindle doesn't know how to spell that either.

What upsets me most is when Rob denigrates Helen to Henry it is so cruel. He seems to love him in a perverted, egocentric sort of.way. Come on Ambridge dip into your memories and help.out.

Now that Linda has little to do.perhap she could organise a " dig into your memories and save the Ambridge one" campaign. Get rid of the interloper and meantime.find a home for the poor old Grundies...Resurgam!!

I hate where this storyline is going with Henry, wish the writers would stop it. It is painfull listening to how Rob is treating him. Why won't Helen defend herself and her children, she was only with Rob a short time after all, even she should have enough about her to want to protect Henry, she witnessed Rob's treatment of him first hand and cannot believe any mother would leave her much loved son with him for a day. I am beginning to get angry with Helen in putting herself before Henry.

Gracesgran - I see what you mean, SW have to keep us in suspense and heighten the tension! Rob is sooo plausible!

I think that is just what a family member would have done in the Archer's type of family phoenix - worry, yes, but she did feel she had done her best for Helen at the time, knowing what she knew then. I bet most of us have bitten our tongue about a relatives partner at some time.

Elrel Mon 25-Jul-16 21:18:04
Is this the beginning of hope for Helen, and Henry? I'd forgotten Shula discussed what she'd seen and Rob's reaction with Caroline.

I'm afraid poor hope is still locked in the box Elrel. If I was one of the SWs I would have the balance of how Rob and Helen can be seen to look very even right up to the jury coming back in - it would be much more dramatic and, from an outsiders point of view they will actually need to build up Helen's defence to even get that far. If you and I had not eavesdropped on all this, as someone said on here recently, you could believe in the picture Rob is putting forward.

Oops, pressed "post" too soon!

And it is only now that Shula is starting to think about it? Has she been at the saddle soap? Or, even worse........the hoof oil!!