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Haley's funeral

(33 Posts)
MamaCaz Fri 31-Jan-14 20:02:11

I can't believe this - I'm fighting back the tears at a fictional funeral! I'm not usually the emotional type! Is it just me? blush

Charleygirl Sun 02-Feb-14 15:36:04

No rockgran that is not on my agenda but I have not got a date and time just yet.

rockgran Sun 02-Feb-14 15:06:26

I've decided to live forever. Sorted.

Granny23 Sun 02-Feb-14 14:39:45

Not sure I agree Charleygirl. In fact our friend, who had a triple bypass, had donation suggested to him by his consultant, who was, our friend thought, anxious to show off his handiwork. Unfortunately friend never really recovered from the operation. His wife, who had been nursing and encouraging him, died suddenly from a brain tumour and he followed a few months later. His body did go for research, not to Glasgow University who were apparently full up but, by agreement with the family, to Dundee. There was a service of remembrance followed by a 'funeral tea'.

Charleygirl Sun 02-Feb-14 14:16:21

It does not appear to be simple to donate one's body to medical science. They appear to want the hale and hearty as the obese, demented and those with more than moderate oedema + others need not apply.

harrigran Sun 02-Feb-14 12:20:24

I have reached the point where I no longer want to watch Coronation Street. The intrusive behaviour of Fizz and Carla towards Roy irritated me and I wanted to shout "for God's sake leave the poor man alone".

Marelli Sun 02-Feb-14 11:14:37

MamaCaz, at the end of all 'work done' by the students, the funeral of a donated body is carried out and paid for by the university concerned. If a person has wished for burial, then that can possibly be arranged by another uni if the particular one isn't able to arrange this. Otherwise, a cremation will be carried out. Once a year, a memorial service is carried out at the university for all those who have donated their bodies.

Soutra Sun 02-Feb-14 11:00:59

Yes, but it's not the one that starts "Do not stand at my grave and weep"

Ariadne Sun 02-Feb-14 10:41:59

Yes, it was very moving, and I too loved the coffin. I would like some sort of farewell, but the idea of donating my remains is brewing now. Theseua wants a no fuss finale, with the pipes, and everyone to have a dram on him; the whole humanist farewell is beautiful if done sensitively. I have been to a similar funeral, for an eleven year old, and found it perfect.

I do think that there has to be a farewell of some sort, for the sake of those left behind - a sort of full stop for them.

annodomini Sun 02-Feb-14 10:33:39

The title is 'Funeral Blues', Soutra

www.davidpbrown.co.uk/poetry/wystan-hugh-auden.html

Soutra Sun 02-Feb-14 09:35:07

Surely it was Auden's "Stop all the clocks" that John Hannah read in "Four Weddings"?

MamaCaz Sun 02-Feb-14 09:09:38

My dad has always talked about donating his body to science. However, not too long ago (two or three years, maybe?) he said that he had dropped the idea, having just discovered that when they have finished with your body they return the remains to the family, for them to dispose of, at their own cost or so he understood.
Having read the comments above, I am now wondering if he has got this wrong. Are there set rules on this or could it depend on which medical institution is involved?

Eloethan Sat 01-Feb-14 23:45:23

The average cost of a funeral is, apparently, now £7,500. I think it's absolutely extortionate.

Marelli Sat 01-Feb-14 19:02:49

grin!!

glammanana Sat 01-Feb-14 18:56:10

I thought there may be a slight difference we can't do anything straight forward down here can we grin

Marelli Sat 01-Feb-14 17:07:53

Scot's law is very slightly different, glamma. It's just a case of contacting your local 'medical' university (of which there are quite a few in Scotland). HTA applies to England, apparently. DH and I have decided to go ahead with this, too. I'm on the organ donation register anyway, for any/all of my organs to be taken if needed, so I may as well go the whole hog and let them have the lot! The family can have a jolly good party afterwards - that's how I'd like it to be. smile

glammanana Sat 01-Feb-14 16:50:22

To those interested in donating to science just make sure you get in touch with HTA (Human Tissue Authority) and arrange signed paperwork and your wishes with your Doctor/Solicitor and family,we did this 2 yrs ago so all is in place,HTA will direct you to the nearest Medical School in your area.

Flowerofthewest Sat 01-Feb-14 16:28:35

Loved the coffin, have even looked them up on Google.

Gagagran Sat 01-Feb-14 16:20:36

A dear friend of mine has left her remains to be "Diced and sliced" as she so elegantly puts it. Apparently there are no funeral costs to the family as the institution doing the slicing pays for the remains to be disposed of.

whenim64 Sat 01-Feb-14 16:20:33

soop I also choose the no misery, cardboard box, lots of fun and cheerful colours. The only funeral I went to like this was a couple of years ago. Very moving, some laughter and a non-religious service that represented those who knew him well. Hate those mournful church services with dirges and distress that must make children fearful of ever going again.

soop Sat 01-Feb-14 16:11:48

Charleygirl now you have me seriously considering donating my bits and bobs. Thank you. smile

Charleygirl Sat 01-Feb-14 16:08:51

Being a true Scot and wanting to save money, if one donates one's body to medical science it will cost your family nothing for the eventual burial/cremation.

I intend to donate my eyes so that stem cells can be extracted and hopefully help people with Macular Degeneration or Fuchs Endothelial Dystrophy.

tanith Sat 01-Feb-14 15:56:17

I meant to add I'd love the floral coffin and the daffs and found the whole thing very moving.

tanith Sat 01-Feb-14 15:54:56

Soop I've told my OH exactly as you describe which is what I want if I shuffle off before him and he was horrified.. I don't think its going to happen how I want if its left to him as he wants the whole 'weeping and wailing at my service' thing which is not what I want for my children and grandchildren . But he was so upset when I insisted, I just backed off and the subject hasn't been mentioned again and now I don't know how to approach the whole thing without upsetting him.. He just sees it as having a 'proper' funeral.. and I can't shift how he thinks.

soop Sat 01-Feb-14 13:50:56

I'm determined to have a cardboard coffin as colourful as Haleys. MacSporran has told me to be sure that his coffin will also be cardboard, not necessarily floral. We both want our ashes scattered on the beach, looking over to the Western Isles of bonnie Scotland, opposite our present home. A lad in the village may well play 'Westering Home' on the pipes. NO church service. NO black. NO flowers. NO mournful faces. A wee dram for all who attend and, hopefully, much laughter.

whenim64 Fri 31-Jan-14 22:08:02

'Do not stand at my grave and weep' - such a beautiful poem and always brings tears to my eyes.