Funeral coat?

Long ago I went to a funeral and all the women had been asked to wear bright clothes including his wife but his SiL turned up in full widow's weeds.

I have a long grey wool coat that I wear for funerals.

When Mum died though, her funeral was on a warm day.
My sister and I decided to each wear a nice dress: hers was navy, with pink shoes, mine was shades of green with gold shoes.
As the daughters of the departed we decided that we could set the tone and as Mum always liked dressing up nicely, we did too. I think it put the guests at ease.

I do try to keep to dark colours for funerals. I know occasionally people are asked to wear bright things but I prefer to be as unobtrusive and tidy as I can. I have recently bought a black and tan wool coat, on ebay which I joke is my funeral coat but I wear it to concerts or anywhere where I don't want to wear my ubiquitous raincoat!
I like the look of yours Maw

My mother told me always to have a good black coat ion the wardrobe as it would be needed for all sorts of formal occasions . It must be one of the few things my mother told me to do that I do.

MawB
Your coat is really nice and I think it will be very appropriate for a funeral or any such winter brrrr occasion . Yes you could dress it up with a scarf and gloves. I personally would put purple with it but that's just my preference

Not into fights jane, just being honest
Well esspee imho if you have an issue with something someone’s said, it’s more honest to answer posters directly than making generalisations without specifying who you’re criticising and ‘being honest’ about.
In fact again, imho, your criticism of shallowness and self-absorption doesn’t actually apply to anyone in this thread.

Surely it is not shallow and self-absorbed to want to show due respect or indeed respect the wishes of the bereaved family esspee?
Or if one is at the receiving end, as it were, to have an opinion about some choices.
Do many people rock up to weddings in their jeans or gardening clothes?

Not into fights jane, just being honest.

Some of the contributions on this thread show a high degree of shallowness and self absorption

Shallow and self-absorbed? Who are you trying to pick a fight with, Esspee?

I doubt I would notice what anyone else wore, unless it really stood out in some way, and then I doubt I would care.

I wear black to funerals. I have a black coat for winter, and a jacket that I wear if the funeral is in the summer. I also have a black leather coat with a hood that I would wear in the rain.

None of these were bought as funeral coats - they are just coats that happen to be black, and would be drafted in if necessary.

I would usually wear a black dress, but if the family specified that dress should be casual I would wear black trousers and a neutral jumper or blouse.

Personally I always dress very smartly in black and white and my other half in smart dark grey suit, white shirt and black tie.

The point I was trying to make in my previous post is that it is the bereaved and the deceased that you are there to show respect to. It is not a fashion show.
Some of the contributions on this thread show a high degree of shallowness and self absorption.
The person who makes a point of turning up, even if wearing jeans, trainers and a hoodie should be welcomed.

I actually felt more miffed at BIL striding down the aisle as if he owned the place in a fairly scruffy anorak with a tear in the sleeve. The tweed jacket was not what Paw would have worn, but that didn’t really matter.
When they came back to the house after the wake I gave him Paw’s super expensive waxed jacket which I had bought for him a few years before in the hope he might take the hint.
I felt he took the “absent-minded professor” look just too far.

Usually it’s a grey coat in the winter accessorised according to the family’s wishes. Mr C says he’d not feel right unless he wore a suit, often with a navy rather than black tie.

My father asked specifically for no black at his funeral, people wore all sorts of bright colours. I didn’t mind but I couldn’t do it, so it was grey and pink for me as a compromise. There’s something about respecting wishes but also being true to yourself.

I haven’t been to many funerals but I’ve always worn a black coat,

I recall that my mother-in- law told me she was furious because her adult niece wore a red coat to her (MiL) husband’s funeral.

I used to wear black to funerals, but when DH died I didn't want people wearing black at his funeral, and I was going to wear a bright orange coat that he loved me in.
However a few days before his funeral I was in Sainsbury's and happened upon a beautiful fitted navy coat with a light check on it, bought it on the spot, wore that instead, and that is now my 'funeral coat'. I found a bright scarf to go with it. Wore it to two funerals just before Christmas.
I think that coat will suit you very well Maw.

I have a black funeral coat. I also keep a stash of black ties for the men folk. Most funerals I go to, have people wearing black, navy or grey. I think it is a matter of showing respect to the deceased and family, by making an effort with your appearance.
I do like the idea of showing a little bit of colour.

For Dad's funeral I wore and emerald green boucle coat from Tesco ( £ 40) I think it looked OK.

Apologies for the kisses. Am WhatsApping DS at the same time.

Good post calendargirl and doramarr. I agree!! Xx

Esspee

You don’t have to wear black or dress up as such, but as I posted previously, I have been to funerals where some look plain scruffy. So yes, some of us do give a toss what is worn at funerals, and I certainly notice if they look rough.
If that makes me a snob, so be it.
I think a funeral is an occasion when respect should be shown in how one dresses,

Esspee, no it isn’t about you, it’s about the bereaved family. All families are different, and it depends what each family thinks shows respect- in my case, it means wearing black or dark grey.

I've got a navy coat which I've worn to a few funerals but it is not exclusively for that. The last couple of funerals I attended were in the summer so I wore a dark dress which has become my funeral dress as my other summer clothes would be too bright.
OH went to the funeral of a former colleague recently and only he, and two other men, at the well attended service wore black ties.

It really isn't about you. Is it?
Of course it’s not esspee, that’s why you should wear something sombre and appropriate, so as not to draw attention to yourself.
So you don’t stick out as ‘that woman’ who wore the bright orange jacket and the yellow trousers, or the off the shoulder dress, when everyone else was covered up in black, grey or navy.