Cosmetic Surgery: am I Mad?

Taking pride in my appearance has never, and will never, involve doing what many people see as essential (high heels, make-up, wearing what other people wear, etc). It's perfectly possible to look smart without being 'fashionable' or giving a toss what the "beauty gurus" say. It's all bullshit.

Just read The Patient Paradox. McCarthy makes the point that when patients become customers all kinds of potential harm ensue.
We can all choose to take pride in our appearance or not. I know you did when you were working - there is a pressure to conform in this context - it is part of creating a professional impression. Particularly if you have to meet clients or something.
Outside of that - or after that - is it pure choice. A woman who has retired can choose. - but those who wish look better can try to keep weight down, do some exercise to tone up the saggy bits and improve posture. It is even possible to do face exercises to tone that up a bit. And make an effort with hair, makeup and clothes.
But I am absolutely of the view that it should be a choice.

I can think of several women who have aged gracefully without any apparent medical intervention - Judi Dench, Helen Mirren?
This may seem a daft question to most of you - but why should we have to take a pride in our appearance? I surely can't be the only woman who does not care about looking younger than her age? What good would it do me to look 65 instead of 72 ? I can undestand it if your career depends on looking youthful, but if you have a partner who objects to the ageing process taking place naturally I think it is the partner who needs to go, not the wrinkles.

To digress a little - I see on this morning's news on BBC1 that the medical establishment is finally saying what I have been saying for nine years. Gastric band surgery can be dangerous, proper consultation and follow-up is rarely given and many operations cause severe problems. It does nothing to address the real issue of why somebody becomes obese in the first place.

I had plastic surgery on my nose when I was 29 and was very glad I did.
However at the age I am now 61 I wouldn`t even consider it.
It is a very personal choice and if you will feel happier then I think you should go ahead.

Hi JAB. Sorry to hear of your impending operation. I hope you won't have to wait too long. I echo your sentiments about surgery.

I wonder how many people who have plastic surgery have had a medical operation before. Having had major surgery a couple of times already and now waiting to have a kidney removed, nothing would make me have unnecessary surgery. I find it horrific enough having essential surgery. I'm no beauty but don't think i'm too ugly I'm just an ordinary woman and proud to be so,I may look a bit worn at times but that's real life. I don't condemn any one who wants to have plastic surgery I just can't understand it, unless someones face has been damaged through an accident.

mishap be careful in your condition, oh, and stop dusting the mirror!!

I look in the mirror and see how much I have changed - baggy chin, drooping lines by my mouth, varicose veins, vanishing waistline etc. and think "Oh well, that's me getting older!"

My OH on the contrary keeps telling me I am more beautiful now than I was when he met me. When I point out the extra chunks of flesh, he just makes a grab for them!

So.....it's all in the eye of the beholder.

gettingonabit - you are not! - you are a mere young thing - just enjoy who you are!

@ barrow

Or, didn't think you were spectacularly lovely when you were young!

I think it helps a lot if you weren't spectacularly lovely when young. That was probably nice at the time but makes ageing rather harder to deal with.

I read that most women stick to the same colours and styles they had when they were at their most confident - probably the same research.

Also, have you noticed how the people one thought were really attractive when they were younger haven't aged terribly well. Whereas, I feel I have grown into myself

Every time I look in the mirror these days (( in fact, as little as possible)) I see my grandmother at the age of 83. I'm 67! And it wasn't the nice roly poly one with laughter lines! It was the other, the tall, strict bad tempered one!
Perhaps I should have surgery!

Bonkers.

I just looked up botox too.

Good grief!

Definitely bonkers.

Essential plastic surgery is a different matter, of course.

You did ask.

Well - invasive surgery with full aneasthetics is not what I'd consider 'gentle tweaking' - the risks are just not worth it imho. You did ask - so ...

absentgrana, an interesting point. I have noted in the past that women tend to stick with the styles that they wore in their 40s. As for bras, no reduction in number by this Gransnetter.

My mother always dressed well and wore pretty feminine underwear to the end (at 85), she always appeared younger than she was.

FlicketyB That was an interesting take on things. I remember listening to someone from a cosmetics company saying that women tend to stick to the same colours, brands and make-up techniques they used in their thirties for the rest of their lives. I quite deliberately changed all three regularly, most recently in May/June this year. Also, sales figures indicate that women d'un certain âge buy fewer bras than they used to, which also strikes me as a bad move. (Apparently, women used to buy fewer bras once they were married, but I wonder if this is still valid research.)

As Grannyknot says, the face looks younger, but everything else still ages. The Daily Mail is always running articles about women who think they look half their age because they have had this procedure, that procedure etc etc, but actually they are deluding themselves because their clothes, their shoes, their hair styles and their make-up is so stereotypical of women of their chronological age, whatever that may be - and their faces look so like dolls that they end up looking older rather than younger.

Unless you are really unfortunate enough to have a face that really has aged excessively, and even then I would think 10 times, I would avoid surgery. You will look much younger just by finding a younger more fashionable hairdo, and having a good look at your clothes and make-up and gently urging them younger. Look at younger women, or women you perceive as younger when you are out and about, look at fashion magazines, oddly the colour supplements of Sunday papers are good for this, look in the shops, sees what's on trend, to use the current phrase, and then decide what suits you and what you feel comfortable in and buy it. Its a far less painful, cheaper and reversible way of rejuvenating yourself than surgery.

Most women look at their best in their late thirties, I've always thought. When puppy fat goes and bone structure emerges. Unfortunately, it downhill all the way after that. Terribly sad young women having botox .

Mishap wrote:
<We should make the best of ourselves and not succumb to losing a pride in our appearance, but maybe we should be proud of how we look as we age.>

Very well put

What I think is really pernicious is young girls (late twenties) being sold botox etc on the grounds that they are preventing wrinkles from developing.....

bikergran a bit of both - lots of laughter lines and just a few of the other kind.

Like others who have had necessary surgery the thought of electing to have surgery is a definite no-no

Bit of a digression but I volunteered with someone who would insist on showing everyone we supported the bits she'd had done!

Yes absent good point - I was thinking more about why (if it's something that will make you feel better about yourself my own view is why not (as long as it is a reputable surgeon of course) but if it's something that you are doing because of others or because of media pressure talking it though may be useful)

Also it is useful for people to point our risks and things in case gettingonabit (or others who might be considering this) were not aware of them all.

Barrow "would that be laughter lines or "? (the same as mine) lol....

Cosmetic surgery does look ok for the first initial maybe year or two but! when things start to "sag/move take another direction" then I think more would be needed,, having cosmetic sugeery we are going against what our bodies do naturaly with age,(you only have to look at others whom have had any) some take it quite well but others!!! unless I considered myself gross! then personaly I wouldn't go down that avenue (not that I could ever afford it anyway) so for now I will stick to the polyfiller and trowel lol actualy !I am soon to be 57 I don't wear make up and have never dyed/coloured my hair! but maybe just maybe it's time I did a little experimenting

Did anyone watch the programme about Freddie Mercury last night? Only caught the end of it, but I kept thinking how, if Freddie was around now, he would've had his teeth changed. If there's one thing that dates old films and tv programmes it's seeing people with wonky teeth [well, British films anyway; the Americans were doing it yonks ago; think The Osmonds [twink emoticon]].