Is funeral planning a conversation you've had with your family?

My husband is buried in a beautiful woodland site and I bought the plot next to his, so my family know that is where I will be buried.
I have left suggestions for the sort of service I would like, but it will be up to them. I am a member of three choirs, including my church choir, so I hope there will be singing! However if I live for many more years and am no longer singing, it may not be appropriate. My family are not particularly religious nowadays, so they will decide what they want to do when the time comes. There will be money to pay for whatever they decide, and plenty of documents to deal with my estate.
I believe we should speak freely about death. It is inevitable. We should try to make things easier for those who will have to deal with everything.

And plan as we might, until it happens we don’t know what the circumstances and manner of our death will be and how that might impact what those left behind might want/ need because of that

Funerals are for those still living. Only funeral plans are for the potential deceased. We do not know what our children and friends need to do for catharsis after our deaths, so I think it very cruel not to leave everything in their hands to do as they wish after you have died.

No...they can do what they like with me.
Tbh my sister and I found it cathartic when we sorted our mums, a final act of love.

Yes, the family have all the details, it's all arranged and paid for, casket, music, flowers etc. As I don't follow any particular religion it will be a humanist service and cremation. It makes sense to me, it will be a stressful time for the family without the added pressures of arranging a funeral. And this way I can be sure it's arranged the way I would like.

Count me in with BlueBelle. I’ve no faith, so an unaccompanied cremation and my ashes scattered on the tide - outgoing, of course! Personally, I can’t think of anything worse than a money grabbing funeral director ‘bumping up’ the price with ‘extra little touches the deceased would surely have loved’. Had that when DH died and that made up my mind to go down a different route!

I have always discussed anything and everything with my family so there has been no Conversation just lots of chats about things over the years. As far as I am concerned there is nothing particularly embarrassing or emotional about the subject. We all die sooner or later and as it can be sooner than expected it is something to be discussed from 18 onwards.

I have always believed that funeral plans are for the living, what happens once you die you have no control over and will never know. so apart from talking now and again about what i would like, it is up to DC to do whatever they will once I am dead.

We’ve had the conversation with 2 daughters and they were all for it. The other daughter won’t talk about it.
We are both down for our bodies to be donated. If that’s a no no no the girls know to do the necessary as cheap as possible. 😂

Yes I ve had the conversation with my children they know I want nothing much and no fuss.
They know I ve bought and paid for a simple cremation. I wasn’t going to have anything else, going out as I came in quietly, but the grandkids (the ones that know me best) were disappointment I wasn’t having anything to celebrate my life so I have relented and put money away for a tea party for any of my family that are around. (my family is scattered around the world which is why I say ‘any that’s around’)

Yes we’ve had the discussions. The plot is bought and paid for at a natural burial site, next to where my husband is already buried. Funerals are for the living so apart from the location, it’s up to my daughter what sort of funeral she wants to organise for me. That’s all agreed between us and I’ve said if you wants more guidance, then to ask me. Neither of us could think of anything worse than the sort of funeral you offer. We’ve no financial issues so my estate will have the money for whatever she wants. We both believe that saying goodbye to the body and being present at and honouring the departing is a necessary and helpful part of the process of loss and grief.