Do I leave one son out of my will.

My father-in-law was estranged from one of his daughters and decided to leave her “share” to her children.
He died a few years ago and the grandchildren on that side of the family had the money put in trust till they were 18.
That seemed to be a good solution and pleased my mother-in-law (second marriage so not her children) as it felt “fair”.
Maybe you could consider something similar?

DH and I do not have a will. We have set out trying to put something together so many times but it is so complicated. My DH has brought my 2 children up since they were small whereas he has had no real contact with his own children for almost 20 years (despite trying) . We don't even know where they are in the country/world.

We don't have a lot to leave but what we do have, we would like to go to the right places. Its not that we disagree because we don't, I don't want to leave his children out but he is adamant that they shouldn't get a penny. Oh dear what a dilemma.

Definitely leave him out.

(I hope all of HQ are getting their heads together to advise the OP on this)

I can’t advise you but will watch with interest as I have a similar dilemma as I’m about to make my will involving my late husbands wishes as he wouldn’t make a will even though he knew he was dying. I’m torn as I feel he should of made his will and not left it to me to decide.
I’m sure there will be lots of advice to mull over here.

I'd be inclined to make an effort to renew contact with the estranged son first, through other family members if necessary. If he doesn't respond, then you can consider changing your will. Perhaps don't leave him out completely, but leave the bulk of what there is to the family who have supported you.