Just like to say.....

Merlotgran Usually I do leave a thread if I don't like it, but when I saw one thread where a poster was being baited by a whole lot of people and clearly was not dealing with it I asked GNHQ whether they would check on the whole conversation. I emphasised that I was not reporting anyone, just hoping that they were aware.

Most disagreements are just temporary, and are resolved or fizzle out and are forgotten. Those that go on and on and fester sometimes need a boot up a backside or two. People can get into the habit of continually sniping at each other and can't get out of it.

I repeat my post of 20.6.13. ,. 19.38

New posters have exactly the same rights and responsibilities as those of us who have been members since May 2011. I for one do not want to go down the route of members, new members and senior members - I'd resign immediately if that happened.

GNHQ has spelled out the rules for posters very clearly. If you don't read them, then you have only yourself to blame if you contravene them and find a complaint has caused your comment to be deleted. If you have read them and still choose to make a "borderline" comment - as I confess to doing on occasion - you must take the rough with the smooth.

Inevitably, there will be occasions where the GNHQ ruling seems unfair. One of my posts was deleted on the grounds that I was making a personal comment about another poster. Sometime later someone else made virtually the same comment about the same member. In the first instance, there were condemnatory posts following mine plus, obviously, at least one complaint. In the second instance there weren't. When that happens, get over it. We are adults after all.

In my opinion GNHQ interferes as little as possible and has a very light touch. I am sorry that jings has been upset but would say that I think the email from GNHQ was a fairly friendly warning rather than a threat.

Jane and nellie, you have said exactly what I was thinking, especially about New posters jumping in without knowing the personalities involved.

jings, I find you entertaing and irritating but above all honest and gn would be poorer without you and all the other characters!

This is beginning to sound like we're discussing jingle when she's not in the room but I'm sure she'll get the drift. Russell Brand is being discussed on another thread and it has often been considered that his success is largely down to his 'edginess'. If jingle counts to ten before she posts, the impulsive comments that make quite a few of us laugh may be lost although I can't really see her ammending anything just to pacify a few.

We're all sitting at our computers in our own homes with plenty of time to form opinions and create carefully considered replies if we wish. We need someone to be outspoken because nobody hears any sharp intakes of breath or guffaws of laughter. You just have to imaging they're out there.

Heaven forbid Gransnet becomes cosy and bland.

You really do have to get to know J08 's posting style to realise that they are not essentially abusive. Jingle don't go getting yourself banned. Count to ten and re-read before you post. It would be dull on here without you.

I'm slightly surprised that 'new' posters feel they have the right to complain about a poster's style. I would have thought it was common sense, and considerate behaviour, to lurk for a while to get the feel of a forum before posting, let alone complaining
I have reported one or two posts that I thought contained personal insults, in line with GNHQ's advice to do this rather than inflame things further on a thread on which feelings were already running high. I also report any obvious advertising - I'm sure none of us want the forum clogged up with adverts for the latest snake-oil and what-have-you.
jo8 what can I say? I too felt the sharp edge of your tongue on occasions when I first joined, but I consoled myself with your own words that 'it's only an Internet forum'. I also quickly realised that you don't aim your barbs at particular people and most importantly, there is never any malice in your posts, you are simply saying what you think, and probably what a lot of others are thinking too, but don't have the courage to post. Gransnet would be poorer without you.
So I hope you are feeling better now
Hope you're all reading this GNHQ!!

This is an interesting thread! merlot, you're quite right.

You do irritate me sometimes, j08, but you have a perfect right to do so, and I may do the same to you by making boring or anodyne comments rather than having the courage to be outspoken like you. I'm sorry you have been so upset by all this. It isn't fair that you shouldn't have been told exactly what the complaint was, although I can see arguments for and against your being told who complained.

Anyway, j08, have , and and keep going!

Surely GNHQ can see for themselves whether a thread is turning nasty or not? I don't mean they should be monitoring 24/7, but they must keep an eye on things. It does seem as though some members don't like it if Gransnet deviates from the way they consider it should be run.

Elegran, If you don't like the way a thread is going why don't you just ignore it? I avoid confrontation by not commenting if the discussion is taking a nasty route. Most arguments burn themselves out eventually anyway.

I think if someone requests a deletion of a post , maybe we should be told who has requested it and why ?

I am not too keen on the secrecy .

[hmmm]

I have reported several advertisers, and a couple of unpleasant sexual comments (and before anyone says I must be a prude - no I am not)

I have also emailed HQ about a whole thread which I thought was going in a nasty direction. It was not recently, and it was not one of the ones which were totally deleted, but they did reply that they were "looking into it"

I have reported once and that was about something that I thought was advertising, and I got that wrong!!
I enjoy the banter and this site.

Yes. I agree, janer. It's a great shame people left even though you banned the person who made racist comments. I don't see what more you could have done.

Bags we lost all of our black members because of a particularly racist member. We are able to post photos very easily, so everyone could see the appearance of everyone else on a particular thread, but someone who we all liked very much came out as violently racist. He posted some appalling comments. I deleted them very early one morning, pm'd him in case he had had a personality swap with Hitler overnight, but was too late as a couple of people had been on very late the previous night and had seen them. I banned him, I was horrified. There was much debate over the following couple of weeks and we ended up losing all of our black posters and a couple of others as well. So no racist comments or jokes allowed. Quotes, yes.

I could be wrong about that, I know. I'm only basing that on the kind of things you have objected to in the past, none of which contained the f word.

moved, I think that if someone had made the same comment to you that Aka made to Bluebell, you would have objected in no uncertain terms.

Style is not a catchall for abuse. We all have our own way of posting. Curiosity and interest, wanting to understand complex issues, loud heckling and mischievous comments - all are part of the interesting threads that bring us back to have our say. I love banter, wit, daft and intelligent posts, but personal insults and attacks have no place. I hope things subside now. I wouldn't like to see our Gransnet go the way of the Saga forum that collapsed under the strain.

I thought this thread was about J08? Yes I know threads wander but I thought we were not supposed to talk about other threads? No, I'm not reporting it!

Perhaps bluebell it is not 'double standards' but that people react differently to different people's styles?

I am just stunned today by, especially AKA's comments on this thread and her comments, particularly to me and Grace on the 'off to sit on another ...'thread.

It's only some who aren't consistent, Bluebell. Your posts are welcome. Challenging hypocrisy is always going to touch a nerve.

I'm just astonished at how the tone of most of the comments on this thread contrasts with the comments unleashed on another to one of my posts. I do think there's some double standards and that J08 love her or hate her gets forgiven far more than I and some others ever do.

It took me a while to get used to your style, jingle, but now your crossing out of 'bad' comments, and the little bits you put in those funny symbols )(hashtags?) just make me smile.
I can see why some new posters did not 'get' you, and I hope they read these posts and realise that, in spite of everything, most of us really do like having you around.

Finally got to the end!

I think j08 sometimes says things straight off the top of her head which I rather like. It is my impression that she says what she thinks without reference to others and is not part of any of the little groups which seem to sometimes feel the need to stick together. I think we have all observed these groups at times. Imo it would be a great shame if she were censored in any way at all even though I often disagree with her.

I get the impression HQ has a 'one size fits all' email they send out which was written with the best of intentions but may not suit all occasions.

Go Jo, Jings, Jingle, J01-8

Perhaps then in future there needs to be more care taken with the wording of emails which might cause distress and sleepless nights.