Attending a hearse passing 'funeral'

The Bodach’s friend died suddenly, and at the funeral his wife and her friends stood around the curtains at the crematorium and performed a yoga move ( may have been called Salute to the Sun) as the curtains were closing.
To each his own, but not for me.

I enjoyed your comment about the Morris dancers, Chocolate pudding.
I think it is good to be respectful at a funeral, but it can also be seen as a celebration of life.
Quite often, a deceased person will leave his/her wishes as to how they would like their funeral to be carried out.

It is good to remember that God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Sometimes clapping is appropriate. Recently, a well-loved doctor at our local hospital died from Covid (caught while treating patients). At his funeral, the hearse drove past the hospital, the road was lined with (distanced) hospital staff, all in their uniforms - and they applauded as he passed. It seemed utterly fitting as a tribute to a brave man.

A long-serving Churchwarden at our Church knew he was dying and arranged his funeral with our Vicar.

The time came and we held the service in Church. As the undertakers prepared to bear the coffin back to the hearse the Vicar announced that Cyril had asked to be taken out to a round of applause. We obliged wholeheartedly. It was what he wanted and a lovely ending to the service.

Is it my age, poor memory etc?!!! Didn't this clapping business start at Princess Diana's funeral? Personally I'm not comfortable with it. Looks as though you couldn't wait to see the back of them (the deceased person). Just my own p.o.v. I'm a bit old fashioned but silence seems more respectful to me, but each to their own I suppose

My brother died recently and as a scattered family it was impossible for some of us to attend, so a video of the service was decided upon. It showed two of his grandsons, who had been daggers drawn with each other for a long time, sob with their arms around each other. They were on the back pews and my sister-in-law or any of the family would not have seen this incident if it had not been for the video. It was heart breakingly heart warming.

We as a family did not ask for anything.The overwhelming kindness shown to us will forever stay with us.we had people clap and balloons also my niece's favourite music at the time.So we had the lot.Its the thought and being there that counts.Whatever we think is by the by really.

Esspee,Not defending flowers clapping balloons ,my 8 yr old niece was murdered.Her school friends a close few let off balloons.It was decided amongst parents and school.Im sure at the time they did what they thought best for my niece .I'm also an animal lover and a big fan of recycle etc.At funerals I'm sure it's from the heart that counts.

GrauntyHelen, your experience is helpful. This is a 'safe place' to share opinions.
The practice of clapping seems to divide opinion the most, but I assume that those who don't like it would join in if the family called for it?
There are things decided by the family, such as balloons, and certain music, that I regard as none of my business unless I am asked. However this thread is mostly about smaller individual gestures.
I think that at a funeral of one of my loved ones, if someone did something I didn't like (one has been mentioned here) I would nevertheless know it was intended out of kindness and respect and treat it as such.

Our Son died at the age of 30 of a heart attack. He was at his place of work at the time, a university where we had also studied. For many reasons we arranged to have the funeral near the university and en route, the hearse passed through the grounds. Outside the Great Hall, about 50 members of staff were standing quietly on the steps with their heads bowed. That meant more to me than I can say and that "picture" is still with me thirteen years later.

Espee I tend to agree about the balloons and was horrified when I heard that balloons had been released at the funeral my granddaughter attended. However, whilst I would not recommend balloons as they are so ecologically unfriendly, I did appreciate that for a young person, it was a way for his young friends to show their sadness. It must be difficult for youngsters to deal with the death of another young one

When I was young people closed their curtains as a mark of respect....either neighbours or on the route that the hearse would take.

Respectful standing quietly seems to be the order of the day around here.

When my darling Dad died I was very touched by a young lad who stopped and whipped off his beanie as the cortege passed.

Yes, the important thing is respect, and a bow of the head is the best.

I hate the idea of clapping.

Balloons are the most awful introduction to funerals in my lifetime closely followed by clapping.
Balloons end up as non biodegradable rubbish littering the countryside at best and killing animals.
Clapping is crass. As are flowers saying Mum, Dad or the deceased’s name.

I attended one of these in December for a fellow coach driver workmate, we all met at the roadside and our boss took one of the coaches down. Like you none of us knew the etiquette, some wondered about clapping, but we decided against! When the hearse passed by everyone bowed their heads and fell silent..
I personally think this is the best thing to do, a mark of honour!

The custom in our village is to walk behind the hearse from the church to the cemetery, so now people wait outside the church then walk ( suitably distanced) to the graveside, where distancing can be observed.

I am not in favour of clapping either, I remember Princess Diana’s funeral, clapping and throwing flowers...awful.

I forgot to say that these where her school friends who let of balloons.

When my young niece was horrifically taken from us,it was very moving to see so so many people line the streets to pay their respects.Some let a single balloon of as the carriage went by.I think just the kindness of being there is enough.It certainly helped and touched us as a family.

My mums funeral was video streamed during lockdown for family and friends who were unable to attend because of covid and numbers (??)
Although one of my cousins was awfully confused by the first 5 minutes.... it was the tail end of the funeral before, an Asian family (we are not Asian) ?

I've conducted lots of funerals on occasion my eulogy has been clapped In these days standing quietly or clapping are both happening do whatever you are comfortable with

You may have a point anniebach

Can it be there are fewer people of faith now ? for me a prayer
for the dead, a hearse then sign of the cross, people who do not share this faith are clapping in place of prayer ?

When we clapped our neighbour it really was a reaction to not going to the service or the tea to reminisce about a lovely man. We had lived next door for nearly 30 years. Just watching a hearse didn't seem enough for our shared history.

I think talk of people bowing their heads and removing hats etc is all pre Covid. Things are very different now.