In times of trouble what do you do?

If it's urgent, I get very focused and deal with it...and shake later.

If it's less urgent, I worry, don't sleep, and get less able to make decisions - which is not helpful....
I don't pray. Sometimes I ask my older self what she would do.

kittylester, I'm just the same. I can bear being cross - that's usually either my fault or someone else's! As you say, you pray, though not sure to whom - so do I. Going out to do something does help, and sometimes put things into a different perspective,, but if I'm really so worried about something, I find I just tend to close up.

I have been in just about the worst situation for a mother - standing by my daughter's bed in an NHS hospital on a Friday evening, knowing she was bleeding profusely internally and needed urgent surgery, being told no consultants were available and when one finally was found being told she was unlikely to survive. I didn't turn to prayer. The surgeon saved her life, not god. (Ironically, he was the same surgeon who had punctured her stomach in a botched lap-banding operation.) I get just a tad annoyed by the 'there are not atheists in the trenches' saying. Nothing could make me so irrational that I would pray.

I know what you're saying, Greatnan. I honestly don't know whom - or what - I have prayed to when I have prayed. I don't 'have' any religion. Desperation, fear and despair (such as that experienced in the trenches) perhaps make some turn to the only thing they know of -even if they don't know - for help.

Yes, I can see how any sort of higher power in those circumstances would do, even without believe in any kind of god. Just using the words as a mantra might at least calm the fear.

I cry and then get on with it though sleep eludes me in such circumstances and I end up very tired. It also affects my innards and I live even more in the loo than I do normally. I told the doctor once about my reaction and he said I should try to avoid getting stressed! Ha flippin' ha! The funny thing is my blood pressure stays more or less the same. Weird. Things usually work out though luckily so it is a waste of time and effort worrying - but that doesn't stop me yet.

It doesn't always work, prayer. I can remember as an eighteen year old, standing by a loved one's bedside while she slipped away, praying like mad for God to let her to live. She still died.

But I managed to get back on track, and I reckon I must have had some divine help with that.

Screaming wouldn't have helped. Though there was some panic. And a lot of crying.

I'm pretty sure it was only the prayer that helped.

jingle - A long time ago for you, but like yesterday, when you think of it. xx

I do find that talking to myself irons out a lot of problems for me. Which is ok while I'm at home, but when I'm walking down the road it can be embarrassing!

nanachrissy - I do that, as well! I can be heard muttering, "It'll be alright, it'll be alright"! Mainly in the house, though!

Don't worry, chrissy - if you're seen talking to yourself nowadays, people assume you are talking on your mobile through a bluetooth connection!

Greatnan I can appreciate how terrifying it must have been to see your daughter is such dire straits and I can also appreciate that it was the skill of the surgeon that saved her.

However, the OP asked how we deal with such times and I answered that for myself I have found that, despite having no religious affiliation, prayer helps me.

I quoted the "in the trenches there are no atheists" not to annoy you and your strong views but as part of the discussion. It is not irrational to pray if you believe it helps.

Of course it is not irrational to pray if it helps you - I merely wanted to point out that for we devout atheists is does not help and I am not going to suddenly start believing in something just because I am suffering.
I don't tell believers that they would suddenly lose their faith if things got tough and I expect my beliefs to be given the same respect.

If one is not religious (has no gods), is it possible to pray? Or are non-religious people who say they pray simply calling their thinking/muttering process praying? I'm wondering if one has to pray to something for it to be a prayer rather than plain old thinking or reflection.

I do the same as ga in times of trouble, except for the praying — I talk things through with friends. Sometimes (often) it helps to express your thoughts on a trouble to someone else.

I also concentrate harder on ordinary things.

I can't ever remember I time when I was so stressed that it led to me doing cleaning.
Mostly, I just 'shut down' and try to get through what ever it is. I try to remind myself of all the other times I felt so desperate or worried and yet....we all came out the other end reasonably intact.
When things seem really bad I don't so much pray as plea. No idea who I'm pleading to though.
I don't eat more but when I'm stressed, the glasses of wine evaporate more quickly.

It was suggested to me long ago that I had counselling for unresolved problems that continue to haunt me to this day. I attended a few sessions, and having talked at length about my childhood [because, I was informed, that 'going back is an important factor in being fit to move forward'] Whatever lies at the core of my inner sadness, is a permanent fixture. Yet, if I could walk into a room with my GN friends and talk things through, I bet I would feel so much better for the sharing of ...in the meantime, when I feel I walk into a virtual room and leave feeling comforted.

All the above - Apart from mad cleaning!
Other things to do when I can't sleep:-
Start a very difficult jig-saw puzzle,crossword puzzle or Sudoku.
Playing Bridge on-line .Try the 'no fear bridge' website It's even more addictive than GN.

Notsogrand, that's a very good way of putting it - 'not so much a prayer as a plea'.

Notso, perhaps that's what I mean, too. Maybe there's no other way to describe it!

Have a really huge cry with lots of sobbing as though its the end of the world. Then, when I'm exhausted and look revolting, I feel quite purged and clear headed and can usually deal with the problem quite sanely!

If I feel i need an outlet-To cry but can't then I dig out Little Women and read Beth's death scene. Tremendous sobbing and puts things in perspective-people now don't die like that-in the West i mean

I see the completely unsupported calumny about "atheists in foxholes" has surfaced here... see the US Military Association of Atheists and Freethinkers
www.militaryatheists.org/expaif.html
MAAF maintains a roster of Atheists in Foxholes, "just in case there are any rumors that we don't exist". There are other associations of combat-experienced godless as well.